Open letter to Tree In Our Office Parking Lot

By weeklyvolcano on November 6, 2009


Dear Tree In Our Office Parking Lot,

Tree3 Bobble-avatar-forums We see each other every day, sometimes twice a day. You know Bobble Tiki. You know that Bobble Tiki works below you. You sometimes whisper strange things to Bobble Tiki when he’s forced to take out the garbage. You whisper endearing things such as "Your spring is a perfectly medium length," or strange things such as, "You and I are headed for the wood chipper soon."  Bobble Tiki must tell you that he is saddened to see that you tried to take your life today.

Why Tree In Our Office Parking Lot? Why did you throw half of yourself to the ground?

Bobble Tiki takes a little blame for the situation. Bobble Tiki should have listened more closely. Bobble Tiki should have paid more attention to the signs. You tossed pine cones at Bobble Tiki daily. You covered his car with debris. You place your needles under Bobble Tiki’s car wipers irritating the hell out of him.

Remember that Bobble Tiki has only shouted at you once. But now, Tree In Our Office Parking Lot, this game has gone too far.

Tree2 You nearly crushed Bobble Tiki’s car this morning. Why? Do you really want to spend the rest of your life spread below a jungle gym? You realize children will not respect you. They will pee on you without a second thought.

Tree1 Bobble Tiki doesn't want to hash out all of the other recent troubles you have caused; Bobble Tiki believes we might still be able to work this out since half of you still stands.

One last request: could you stop throwing pine cones at Bobble Tiki’s social worker when she comes to visit? It’s not helping.

Kind regards,

Bobble Tiki