Viva Dockyard Derby Dames!

By weeklyvolcano on May 6, 2007

Derbythree The Dockyard Derby Dames put on one of the best shows of entertaining athleticism I’ve seen in the last … well, forever Saturday night at the Tacoma Soccer Center.  These women are real, they rock, they have heart, and they skate like they live, with energy and vivacity and a bit or Rawr for good measure.  It’s the ticket to buy, as far as I’m concerned, whether you’re high-brow, monster-truckin’, perverse, or hipster.  Certainly the packed-house crowd reflected that, with little kids running amongst an old woman with a walker, and all ages and types in between, who watched assorted cool fishnets, cleavage, and butt-cheeks and blended them in with a little bit of “Oh My God She’s Holding Her DOWN!”

Derbyfour Hot action by dames like Vorpal Bunny, Ollie Oxen, Dandy Rough, Skate Pauli Girl, and especially Cookies and MILF (skate number OU812) made the laps fly fast despite the brutal track condition (soft and giving isn’t so great when you’re trying to build up speed) and the apparent fatigue on the skaters faces as the jams elapsed.

Derbyone I especially, especially, especially (really, even!) loved the Rat City turnout: here was a large contingent of the nation’s best derby-ers showing up to give props to league newbies in a demonstration of cross-city collaboration that warmed my heart.

Derbytwo The Trampires ended up sinking The Marauding Mollies, rum and all, by one point (89 to 88) in overtime( Mad Madge, regional Ref coordinator, was excited by this even as the commentator ran laps in his excitement.

According to Madge, who has reffed for three years and has been in three tournaments, said she’d never seen an overtime, “Overtime, Oh my God,” she fairly gushed in excitement after the bout.

Derbyfive The Hellbound Homewreckers beat out the Femmes (Femme Fianna) without an overtime (I think the score ended up something like 98 to 60, but I’m not sure.) While Cruel Brittania of the Union Jack Underpants proved to be truly intense, and Blonde Amazon and Ria Rangerface, showed their might, standout performances by Janesaw Massacre, Slim Finnegan, and Ghetto Heart showed that the numbers don’t necessarily reflect the way the season will go.

At the post derby O’Malley’s Cinco de Drinko fest, the Seattle contingent showed up alongside Trampires, Marauders, Homewreckers and Femmes, and it was heartening to see all the intermingling and love between all the ladies.  Yo Pabst Blue Ribbon â€" if you’re reading this, you need to endorse this league, as they are among some of the best advertising assets you might have.

Commentator Nathaniel, whose enthusiasm for the event â€" and especially how T-Town does Derby â€" shone through as he did a post-bout recap; he got especially excited as he recounted Janesaw against Blonde Amazon, saying, “Watch those girls, they’re going to raise the level, raise the bar.” He also gave props to Cookies and Milk and Slim Finnegan, noting these “Janes of all trades” have “the total package.”

But he also was fast to mention the league’s “stand-out blocking,” saying, “for the first season, we were not expecting it.”

For myself, neophyte derby enthusiast as I am, I was not expecting the tangible stoke of the evening.  The raw emotions heated up in the ring, and the love afterward kept the warmth going, while the Pabst just made everything right with the world. â€" Jessica Corey-Butler