Weekly Volcano Blogs: Walkie Talkie Blog

September 20, 2014 at 2:12pm

Getting Lucky with Nicky and Adam: Series Finale

Rev. Adam McKinney kissed a boy at The Mix.

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REV. ADAM MCKINNEY: Well, Nicky, we all knew it would come to this: the series finale of Getting Lucky. After spending all summer trying to hook up with random ladies at bars, we somehow proved unsuccessful. For anyone that bet on us in your office pool, I apologize. After dragging you to the hetero-soaked vibes of all of these clubs, I decided that the best way to make it up to you was to go to a gay bar. After taking in a production of the 17th century farce, The School for Lies, I hiked up the hill to meet you and get hyphy at The Mix. Now, Nicky, these places are your stomping grounds, so how were you preparing for our final excursion?

NICKY MARTIN: In the past when I've made the decision to hit one of the local gay bars, Club Silverstone, I tended to head straight for the tequila. Since the Stone has dancing on Fridays and Saturdays, I feel like that's the only way that I can all those sweaty queers and pretend I don't have the dance moves of Carlton Banks from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. But one does not start off at the Silverstone. First, I'll start imbibing at either the other local gay bar The Mix, or Puget Sound Pizza right downstairs. Once the clock strikes midnight or so, I'll head out for a smoke and wait to see a drunken crowd pour out of one gay bar, and on to another. That's my cue to head for the dancefloor. As soon as I see the usual shirtless kid dancing in the mirror, I know I've arrived. Then, it's usually downhill from there. How did what I describe differ from what we actually experienced?

ADAM: You hit the nail on the head. Knowing that this was our last night, we pre-gamed pretty hard, and I somehow managed to get my hands on something called an "Inception Shot," which is a shot within a shot within a shot. After that, all bets were off. We stumbled down to the Silverstone, paid our cover, and were immediately whisked away to blacklight-and-disco-ball haven of the Silverstone - where everyone was already coupled up. In a panic, we looked at the clock, seeing an hour until last call, and downed our vodka Red Bulls. Racing back, we made the decision to split up, like in a horror movie - you at the Mix, me at Puget Sound Pizza. Ladies are into desperation, right? Somehow, though, we got off track. I ended up kissing a couple guys, and then, maybe you can clear this up for me (Inception Shot, remember?), but how did we end up going swimming?

NICKY: Well, what had happened was after we realized it was too late for the bar our next best option was an after hours spot. Back in the day, these were not hard things to find and would usually give you a few more hours to socialize. But it seems we all got old and aren't the rabble-rousers we used to be. After walking one of the nice young men you locked lips with to his car, I came back to find you in cahoots with two other patrons. It was somehow decided, that with summer winding to a close, we should get in one last swim at a local pool. So after one awkward taxi ride and two hopped fences, we arrived at our final destination. You wasted no time in getting down to your skivvies and heading for the diving board. I dipped my feet in and waited to be busted at any moment. Luckily, that paranoid fear stayed just that.

Final thoughts?

ADAM: I regret nothing. From the moment that you drunkenly pitched the idea for this column to me, and I ran with it without really consulting with you, I knew that it'd all end up with me soaking wet in my underwear, and you fully clothed next to me - following me, dragged by me, as I embarrass myself over and over again for JOURNALISM. We've befriended strippers, been ripped off by overpriced Red Bull, shied away from taking home crying girls, and may have broken several laws in the service of getting lucky. Did we fail? Yes. Unequivocally, yes. But have we tapped into some deeper emotional truth? No. I guess what I'm trying to say, ladies, is that Nicky and I remain single and ready to mingle. For more information, consult the bathroom walls of bars in the Tacoma area. That's how you can get a hold of us.


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Getting Lucky with Nicky and Adam: Keys on Main Edition

Getting Lucky with Nicky and Adam: KRY Edition

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Filed under: Sex, Food & Drink, Tacoma,
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