Judging by the Trailer: "Captain America: The Winter Soldier"

By Rev. Adam McKinney on April 2, 2014

I do a lot of indiscriminate bashing of movies (sight unseen, never to be corrected) for this column. It's fun! In the case of movies like the recent, bafflingly shitty God's Not Dead, it's both rewarding and entirely warranted. Other times, I take potshots at movies that might end up being quite good. (The Lego Movie, anyone?) My point is that I'm swinging wildly in the dark, over here. This is the nature of Judging by the Trailer.

Which brings me to the trailer for Captain America: The Winter Soldier. I would rather be writing about literally anything else. Watching this trailer, my eyes blurred and a ringing tone sounded in my ears, interrupted only by the obligatory BWOOOMPs that are required of every "dark" superhero trailer, thus decreed Christopher Nolan. Captain America appears to me only as a muscular assembly of blonde-haired pixels.

I took a hard pass at the opportunity of seeing the first Captain America movie, deciding I'd just catch up when The Avengers came out. As a result, I now find myself faced with your standard gritty sequel, populated with characters about which I couldn't care less, facing a super-villain who - though exhaustively detailed in the trailer - seems to be mostly notable for possessing a "metal arm," as Cap puts it.

Of interest to other folks who don't have an affinity for Captain America, this film is helmed by the Russo Brothers, Anthony and Joe, who directed lots of episodes of Community. That's neat! Maybe, when #SixSeaonsAndAMovie finally reaches fruition, the Russo Brothers can take a break from bathing in $100 bills to take a stab at Community's theatrical debut. Until then, I'll continue my hot streak of never seeing a Captain America movie (except for that truly awful 1990 version that starred J.D. Salinger's kid).