Weekly Volcano Blogs: Walkie Talkie Blog

June 30, 2010 at 9:36am

MORNING SPEW: Barefoot Bandit, Chinese mummers, unitards!

Man, I'm so hungry I could eat three birthday cakes.

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WHAT WE HAVE FOUND TODAY, JUNE 30, 2010 >>>

Michael Phelps is 25 today.

>>> SOUTH SOUND SPECIFIC

The name Tacoma stems from the Indian name for Mt. Rainier, "Tacobet," meaning Mother of the Waters.

>>> TODAY'S WORD

mummer "me-mer\ noun [MF momeur, fr. momer to go masked] (1502)

1) A performer in a pantomime; broadly: actor

Usage example: And then companies in China hired white mummers all dressed like the really cute Jonas Brothers brought into their business lunches to portray business partners or clients, which never failed to spur a fresh bout of deeply sinister chuckling.

>>> STORY PICK OF THE MORNING

In one of the more adorable examples of stories about a sadly moronic teen lug-nut male that make you say, Jesus with a latex thong, even with all my little problems including but not limited to that strange rash and the sock-sniffing fetish thing and the goddamn government's unpatriotic position, at least my life hasn't come to this, Colton Harris-Moore - 19-year-old Camano Island burglar known as "The Barefoot Bandit" - was caught on surveillance video at a northeast Nebraska airport earlier this month, so an arrest warrant has been issued.

"Dude, my mom use to attach tiny bells on my shoes with like The Weeping Helix knot, you know, impossible to take off, so she could hear my coming up from the basement, and I was all, "I'm 12 Mom," and she was all, "So," so I threw my shoes at her head all Middle East Guy like and ran away," Harris-Moore probably didn't say to the depressed magazine and Chiclets vendor in front of Gate 13 at the airport.

Police collected fingerprints that may help link Harris-Moore to the theft of a Cadillac Escalade from the Norfolk airport earlier this month, which later turned up in Pella, Iowa, with the words "Pella Sucks" spelled on the ground in front of the car with the laces off several pairs of shoes taken from the car's trunk.

>>> MORE THINGS WE HAVE FOUND

It's awesome in the Unitard Universe.

Hurricane Alex has propelled more oil from the Gulf spill onto coastal beaches and sidelined cleanup vessels.

After 25 years on the air Larry King is ending that show we've never actually watched.

What's the difference between Silly Putty and a McNugget? Turns out not much.

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