EL VACIO MORAL: Owen Taylor's weekly legislative recap

What a wonderful week to bear witness to the absolute clusterfuck that is the Washington State Legislature. All in all, this was a showcase of arrogance, starring a cavalcade of bumbling boobs and jokers - and all of it on our dime (we, being the taxpayers).

So let's kick off this tour-de-farce, because that's what it is - an abomination of a grand concept from a couple hundred years back that obviously wasn't designed to work on such a large scale, as it's currently doing, a mirror image of its own inadequacy; but nonetheless, we're stuck with this until a modernized idea of representative government can come to fruition on the heels of this failure, and actually survive the cabal of speculation, bravado, name-calling and character assassination that laughably refers to itself as "the free press."

So here's this weeks splendid rundown of greed and malice masquerading as ethical lawmakers:

Enter one Pam Roach, a known fiery curmudgeon of a Republican from the beautiful valley freeway Supermall pit-stop of Auburn. Having been booted from the caucus due to a rampant on-going internal strife, most notably with Mike Hewitt, a fellow Republican from Walla Walla. Roach again suffered a blow to her not-so-stellar public image when the Senate Facilities & Operations Committee nixed her complaint against Hewitt for "creating a hostile work environment." Roach appealed and they dumped that as well.

Hewitt's complaint against Roach however was allowed by the same committee. The complaint was filed on behalf of a Senate staffer who was subjected to a visceral tirade from Roach that apparently left said staffer visibly stunned and shaken - and was purportedly done in the open. This was found to have violated ethical guidelines, not to mention a little common sense.

These are the people we elect to represent our most prurient interests, no?

Well, who hasn't wanted to put some worthless underling in their place?

The gist of this tit-for-tat squabble is that it's going to cost the Washington state taxpayers $55,413.

Damn, Driscoll. I should've gone to law school - then I'd get free money to sort out just exactly whose feelings got hurt, and who needs to up their Xanax intake.

Speaking of the taxpayer, then there was the favorite whipping post of the budget process and apparently this week's favorite dead horse for axe handle wielding Republicans in a Senate floor vote on permanently suspending Washington's voter-approved I-960. The Eyman initiative requires a two-thirds majority vote on any new taxes, or "new streams of revenue" (obviously taking a cue from the auto-industry's class on newspeak, ala re-titling SUVs as "crossovers"). After witnessing about 20 minutes of the "who has the bigger soap box" competition, I had to remove myself from the gallery because I was about to die of laughter.  After passing the bill which "temporarily" suspended the initiative until July 2011, the end of the fiscal biennium that we're currently digging to China in, the brainiacs we somehow elected showcased their ineptitude by realizing that they didn't really get the bill right. The bill passed would still require a non-binding advisory vote by the people. The Democrats, hell-bent on careening off the economic cliff shrieking like banshees on Harleys made of fire and bones in their attempt to subjugate the lowly taxpayer, if some reports are to be believed, want to fully suspend any requirement to go to the voter, hiding behind the unnecessary cost of $500,000 just to put it in the voter pamphlet. Other reports, ironically from the other side of the aisle, say the number is much lower.

Regardless, Dems say the override is necessary to get the ball rolling on closing our now $2.7 -2.8 billion hole. I say now because a report filed earlier this week noted that we're actually $118 million more in the hole than we thought.

Is that dim-sum I smell?

So anyways, our fearless leaders worked tirelessly and probably thanklessly on our behalf into the evening and got the new bill re-written and re-passed.

Now we get to sit back and wait for the arrival of a myriad of bad tax ideas that everyone will no doubt find some qualms with. As for me, I' going go get me a Snickers before the bastards start taxing candy bars to high heaven. Since I'm obviously not making in excess of, say, $150k writing for the Swarner boys, I've gotta get it while the getting's good. Hopefully all the pennies I contribute in my chocolate addiction can help sustain the big ballers who don't have to pay an income tax to pad the coffers us lowly fucks use when we're drunk on Victory Gin and need some stitches on our $11,000 annual income.

Lastly, in what will surely be a failed attempt at classiness, I would like to leave on a high note. I present to you a quote from Karl Rabeder, an Austrian millionaire who made the news recently touting his desire to rid himself of his fortune. He recounts a revelation that came on a trip to Hawaii.

"It was the biggest shock in my life, when I realized how horrible, soulless and without feeling the five star lifestyle is," he said. "In those three weeks, we spent all the money you could possibly spend. But in all that time, we had the feeling we hadn't met a single real person - that we were all just actors. The staff played the role of being friendly and the guests played the role of being important and nobody was real."

Peace!