Man, what a week here at Moral Void Headquarters in the Puritanical Olympia sunshine.  What a great time to be alive. Where else can you watch it all go down the tubes so hilariously for everyone but Meth-Based Life Forms?

This week, I want to give a big shout out to Council Member, Mayor Pro Tem, and was-soon-to-be-but-probably-not-now Thurston County Treasurer Joe Hyer. Flame on, brother blazer!

If you haven't heard by now, he was targeted for an undercover operation by the Thurston County Narcotics Task Force after a couple of "concerned citizens" sang a little song to Thurston County Sheriff Dan Kimball, who then tipped off the TCNTF. Not disclosing quantity or size of the purchases made by the informant, referred to from here on out as "The Rat," because of the ongoing "investigation," Hyer nonetheless is being given a handful of felony charges for "trafficking." This is being compounded by the fact he lives a couple blocks away from Madison Elementary, ironically located next to a bunch of half-way, low income speedfreak huts - and the best pickup gym for hoops in town formerly known as Old Washington. (Shout out to Wonderwood!)

So anyway, Hyer is being accused of slangin' sacks to "The Rat" - who then rolled him to the TCNTF with a big bow on his head.  Something here reeks of political retribution.  But as they say, karma is a bitch. Now Joe Hyer is finding that out first hand.

Hyer, never one to mince words or display faux empathy, is a very talented and shrewd local politician and business owner.  He owns both the Alpine Experience and Olympic Outfitters, has been president of the Olympia Downtown Association, and was one of the masterminds behind the Public Business Improvement Area. The Public Business Improvement Area's formation forced local businesses into the ODA, many against their wishes, as well as forcing them to pay into a general fund to "improve" downtown Olympia's image - with the amounts varying based on location to what was defined as "the city core."  It was originally formed as the Parking and Business Improvement Area, but the name was changed after it was deemed too overtly stated that it was actually a way to force the businesses in downtown into paying for a parking garage they could neither afford, nor seemingly wanted.  Instead, they've now been forced to pay for multicolored artisan benches for meth zombies to inhabit during the day and perform sex acts on in the middle of the night, hung pots of flowers that are dead most of the year, and purchased the infamous "Green Machine" - a neon green sidewalk Zamboni that has since been crated up in the city shop because they can't afford to run it or pay the guy who operates it.

It may sound like I don't like Joe. Well, you're half right. I personally don't like a lot of the politicians in this town, and Joe has definitely been top of that list more than once.

But give the devil his due.

There is not one person on that council who can chew through the city budget - line by line - and understand it like Joe Hyer.  Naming Hyer to succeed Robin Hunt as the Thurston County Treasurer seemed the natural best choice. Shit, I even voted for him in the last election, and I get drinks with Tony Sermonti at least once a week, the man who ran against Hyer and lost in the last election. The city council needs a guy like Hyer to balance out all the ideas and skill levels. That's also why I told Tony to run against someone else in the next go-round.

Say what you want about slacker brain-dead stoners.  Obviously, for some of us, weed isn't a performance-limiting drug. Remember that kid who won gold in the downhill snowboard comp at the Winter Olympics a few years back. They stripped him of his medal because he tested positive for pot. He bested every other competitor in the world at the penultimate athletic spectacle that year, and he did it stoned - and the ultra-righteous moralist greed heads publicly shamed him. What's next? Are they going to make you wear a big green "S" for stoner, ala Scarlet Letter?

So here we are again, back at square one. Yet another person, and life, has been caught up in a case on the backs of anti-weed hysteria, while cranked out speed freaks run rampant through south capital neighborhoods just shy of the Capital Campus - MURDERING EACH OTHER.

Here we are again, getting our titties all twisted up because a politician who is near essential to operations in this completely hypocritical shithole we call the state capital just got popped for being a hook up.

My two cents Joe - you've got two choices.  Stand up and do your best Tiger Woods impression, your Mark Sanford impression, your John Edwards "Please forgive me, I am nothing without my public image," humble servant of privilege bald-faced apology lie ceremony.

Or, take your lumps in the system like a man. Stand up and go, "Yeah, I did it. I also understand multi-million dollar businesses and city operations better with my mind at ease, laid back in the cut with some trees blowing in the breeze. I was in a position of power, and I blew it - trying to be cool and hook up someone I thought was cool. But they were just A RAT. My bad."

Maybe the reptilian scumbags who set you up, Joe, - who walk down the halls of city government next to you and shake your hand and smile, won't be expecting it.

How honest to your self and us you want to be will set the tone for your future in politics. Period.

Two words, bro.

Marion Barry.