I totally did it.  I stopped the car and made Bandito Betty wait for me while I ran out and talked to some sign-wielding, megaphone-chanting picketers.  I’ve always wanted to stop and ask protestors questions. I’ve even tried a few times. They’ve never been interested before, but this time I got lucky.  In the cold rain, sans umbrella, I ducked out of my warm car and crossed into a circle of laborers saying something about deserving fair wages.

And don’t worry; I left the car running with the heat on for Bandito — like you care or anything.

STEPH DEROSA: Can I ask you guys a few questions?

OLEG: I don’t speak English.

MIGUEL: Bullshit, you do too!  I’m the one who doesn’t speak English.  Heck, my name is Miguel for Pete’s sake. I speak Spanish.

DEROSA: You both clearly speak English. Please let me interview you for the Weekly Volcano. Please?

MIGUEL: Who is going to be reading this, anyway? Who really reads the Weekly Volcano?

DEROSA: A couple of people do, I know for sure. Maybe three. Wait, four counting my mom.

MIGUEL: Well, I suppose if we do an interview with you, we’ll read it, so that’ll be six people.

DEROSA: Can you tell me what you guys are doing here out in the rain holding signs and chanting?

OLEG: Miguel got kicked off his boat from Spain, that’s why he’s here.

MIGUEL: Shut up, Oleg. Sorry, Steph. He’s from Russia and doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

OLEG: Bite your tongue! I’m Ukrainian!

MIGUEL: Oh, right. I suppose that’s like calling someone from Texas a Yankee.

DEROSA: Watch it! I’m from Texas!

MIGUEL: I call bullshit.  Where’s your Texas twang? For all we know, you could be working for Berg Scaffolding — the people who are paying below the going pay rate! The people we are protesting!

DEROSA: Get a couple beers in me and that twang shines right on through my Tacoma exterior.

OLEG: Is this supposed to be a serious interview? We’re talking about where we’re from. Should we be talking about the issues at hand?

MIGUEL: Serious interview? Have you ever read the Volcano, Oleg?

OLEG: No.

MIGUEL: Sorry, Steph. He’s not the smart kind.

OLEG: Wait, what’s that supposed to mean?

MIGUEL: There are three kinds of people out there: Ones that know how to count, and ones that don’t.