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The 10 most forgettable movies of the year

The worst movies of 2017

With a cast including Tom Cruise and Russell Crowe turning in forgettable performances, The Mummy is the most Forgettable movie of 2017. Photo credit: Universal Pictures

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If I'm going to endure nonsense such as The Dark Tower and The Great Wall and Rough Night and Wonder Wheel -- and those disasters somehow escape even finding a spot on this list -- I might as well commit to ranking the absolute worst movies of 2017.

So hold your nose, and here we go.     

10. PITCH PERFECT 3     

The first Pitch Perfect took us by surprise and was a bouncy, catchy confection. Who knew the world of competitive collegiate a cappella contests could be so entertaining?

Pitch Perfect 2 came across as forced and unnecessary. Pitch Perfect 3 was a far more serious offense. Even the cast seemed bored and indifferent to trying to milk one last movie out of this played-out concept.     


This live-action, big-budget remake of the 1995 anime classic (which was adapted from a Japanese manga comic) was on some level faithful to the core of the original, from major plot points to certain visual stylistic choices, but it's still an insult to the source material, with a convoluted explanation of the Westernization of the heroine (Scarlett Johansson).         


Of all the missteps a sequel can commit, I'm not sure there's any offense more egregious than telling us to disregard certain important elements of the original.     

I thoroughly enjoyed the mix of sophisticated satire and flat-out madness in Kingsman: The Secret Service, but the sequel makes a mockery of the original, insults the viewer for caring what happened in the first story, and makes the fatal mistake of thinking we want to see a bigger, louder, stupider and far more disgusting follow-up.     


The great Luc Besson's adaptation of a popular series of French comic books is a tone-deaf nightmare. Dane DeHaan, a good actor in what might well be the worst performance of his career, is the cliché-riddled rogue agent Valerian. Cara Delevingne, a not-good actress in what will surely NOT be the worst performance of her career, is Laureline, the obligatory feisty partner.     

And the knockoff-Star Wars story is lame, rambling and dopey.     

6. THE CIRCLE     

The excellent filmmaker James Ponsoldt (The End of the Tour, The Spectacular Now) is the director of The Circle. Ponsoldt and the brilliant writer Dave Eggers collaborated on the screenplay, based on Eggers' novel. Tom Hanks, Emma Watson, Glenne Headly, Bill Paxton and John Boyega appear in this movie.

All due and great respect to their cumulative talents, The Circle is pure garbage.     


From the get-go, this survivalist adventure saga starring Kate Winslet and Idris Elba invites unintentional laughs, and strains and stretches our credulity -- and then it gets REALLY bad. After their plane crashes, after they endure all sorts of setbacks, and after they seem resigned to their fate, THAT'S when we're supposed to believe these two might actually fall in love?     

I've got your mountain right here. It's a giant, steaming, pile of ...     

4. BAYWATCH     

Yes, Baywatch the TV show was a long-running, international hit. And yes, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and Zac Efron are hugely likable and bankable stars.  Still. Every inch of this movie is targeted to the lowest common denominator. Every inch of this movie is a cheap, sleazy, condescending, sloppy money-grab.     


The sappy teen romance movie Everything, Everything is the story of a bright and beautiful and lovely and sweet 18-year-old girl named Maddy (Amandla Stenberg), who hasn't been out of the house since she was an infant because she has a rare form of an autoimmune disease, and her "forbidden love" attraction to the dreamy Olly (Nick Robinson), who moves with his family to the house next door. For the first hour or so, this sappy teen romance movie comes across as precious, contrived and stupid.    

And then it gets much, much worse. And exasperating. And infuriating. And nutso.


I'm lumping these two execrable, Christmas-themed sequels together because they share so many basic plot lines, so many failed slapstick set pieces, so many uninspired themes, and so many fine actors drowning in a sea of junk.     

In "A Bad Moms Christmas," the moms of the moms show up for the holidays and create all sorts of depressingly cartoonish sitcom havoc.     

In "Daddy's Home 2," the dads of the dads show up for the holidays and create all sorts of depressingly cartoonish sitcom havoc.

In both cases, I'd rather stick my hand just alongside some chestnuts roasting on an open fire than sit through these movies again.     

1. THE MUMMY     

A-listers Tom Cruise and Russell Crowe headline the 2017 edition of The Mummy, which was positioned as the stepping-stone for Universal's ambitious and far-reaching Dark Universe film series.     

Alas, this was a murky, convoluted, insanely stupid, directionless disaster, with Cruise and Crowe floundering and drowning together.

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