THE LOWDOWN ON WHAT'S UP THIS WEEKEND >>>

WEATHER REPORT

Friday: Rain showers, hi 54, lo 41

Saturday: More rain, hi 48, lo 39

Sunday: Even more rain, hi 50, lo 37

>>> FEB. 10-12: ENRON

Nothing makes for better theater than tragedy. And satire. And maybe a splash of dark comedy. South Puget Sound Community College's presentation of ENRON, running Feb. 10-12 and 16-19 at the Kenneth J. Minnaert Center for the Arts, should have all three. According to hype, British playwright Lucy Pebble's 2009 play "uses a mix of timeless themes, including classic tragedy and dark comedy, to explore the inner workings of one of the country's largest financial collapses from several new points of view." Who doesn't love watching a good financial collapse live on stage?

• Kenneth J. Minnaert Center for the Arts, Feb. 10-12 and 16-19, all performances at 8 p.m. except Feb. 12 and Feb. 19 - both at noon, $13 for the general public and $7 for students, 2011 Mottman Road SW, Olympia, 360.753.8586

THROUGH FEB. 19: THE PHANTOM TOLLBOOTH

The Phantom Tollbooth, a children's adventure novel by Norton Juster published in 1961, is loved to this day by children and adults alike. While it's easy to see why children connect to young Milo's tale, it also doesn't take much pondering to see why many adults still harbor a soft spot for the book. Luckily for all parties involved, Olympia Family Theater opened a three-week run of the stage version of The Phantom Tollbooth last week at the Washington Center for the Performing Arts - Black Box. Read Christian Carvajal's Weekly Volcano review of The Phantom Tollbooth.

• Washington Center for the Performing Arts - Black Box, Friday - Saturday 7 p.m., Sunday 1 p.m., "Thrifty Thursday," Feb. 9 at 7 p.m., $16 adults, $13 senior/military/student, 512 Washington St. SE, Olympia, 360.753.8586

FEB. 10-12: ARTS OLYMPIA SHOW & SALE

Now in its 21st year, the annual Arts Olympia Show and Sale this weekend at the Capital Museum Coach House promises, according to hype for the event, to be the best ever. And we're inclined to believe said hype. Why? Well, this year's event hype includes mention of Olympia's new mayor, Stephen Buxbaum, kicking off the festivities during a Friday-night opening reception (a definite plus), and - more importantly - Volcano arts writer and critic Alec Clayton delivering a lecture Saturday afternoon. And did we mention Sunday promises a poetry event featuring members of the Olympia Poetry Network? The three-day show comes under the header Perspectives 2012 and will include the work of nearly 40 local artists. This one's a no-brainer - which is probably why, year after year, the Arts Olympia Show and Sale keeps coming back for more.

• Capital Museum Coach House, Friday, Feb. 10 5-7 p.m. opening reception with Olympia Mayor Stephen Buxbaum, Saturday, Feb. 11 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Alec Clayton speaks at 1 p.m., Sunday, Feb. 12 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. poetry event at 1 p.m., 211 W. 21^st Ave., Olympia, artsolympia.org

FEB. 10-12: THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES AT EVERGREEN

Each year The Vagina Monologues is performed at The Evergreen State College in Olympia, and each year the event is one of the year's most memorable collegiate stage shows. Performed by Greeners, presented by the school's Women's Resource Center, and this year directed by Sam Cori and Cari Pendergrass, The Vagina Monologues of 2012 at Evergreen should live up to tradition. According to Cori, this year an effort is being made to get more non-students to attend - so do your part this weekend.

• The Evergreen State College - Lecture Hall 1, 7-9 p.m., $7 student, $10 general, 2700 Evergreen Pkwy NW, Olympia, 360.867.6000

SATURDAY, FEB. 11: TAHOMA AUDUBON SOCIETY PARTY

Birding just doesn't get the props it deserves. For one, birding and bird watching are fun for geriatrics and non-geriatrics alike. Most folks assume it's only something the old can get into, but they're wrong. Second, birding vests with a bunch of crazy pockets are hella sexy. Just trust us on that one. Saturday, the Tahoma Audubon Society celebrates its 43^rd year with its annual membership banquet and awards ceremony at the Tacoma Landmark Convention Center. According to hype, at the Tahoma Audubon Society Banquet, "Wildlife biologist and photographer Vasiliy Baranyuk will present "Snow Geese and other Wildlife of the Wrangel Island Nature Reserve." And that's just the start of the awesomeness (which, yes, does include a live dessert auction and the 2012 board elections).

• Landmark Convention Center's Temple Theater Ballroom, 5:30 - 9 p.m., $50 per person, 47 St. Helens Ave., Tacoma, tahomaaudubon.org

SATURDAY, FEB. 11: CHIPTUNE DISKO

There is a certain segment of the population that is way too into eight-bit video games - specifically, the way those games sounded. These weirdoes have banded together to utilize those primitive sounds in the creation of new music. Their bands are chiptune bands; their members have seemingly uncovered brand new depths of obsession. Saturday, Dorky's Arcade will host several chiptune bands because, well, of course chiptune bands would play at Dorky's. Performers include Awesomecat, Shellshock, Firedrill and Ovenrake, and all the bands will be accompanied by vintage gear like Game Boys. How surreal will it be to dance to fake video game music while - all around you - real video games are lighting up, all abuzz and a-chirp? It'll be like a snake eating its tail. -- Rev. Adam McKinney

• Dorky's Arcade, with Firedrill, Ovenrake, Awesomecat, Shellshock, 9 p.m., $3, 754 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.627.4156

FEB. 11-12: BERLIN TO BROADWAY WITH KURT WEILL

The Tacoma Opera - and more specifically its "Young Artists" - will take you on a musical journey of space in time this weekend, delving into the works of renowned German-Jewish stage composer (and socialist) Kurt Weill. Weill - who was most active in the 1920s and '30s - is perhaps best known for his collaborations with Bertolt Brecht, including The Threepenny Opera, which will be included in the Tacoma Opera's performances this weekend. Tacoma Opera will also take on selections from Weill's Lady in the Dark and Street Scene.

• Theatre on the Square, 8 p.m. Saturday, 2 p.m. Sunday, $30, 915 Broadway, Tacoma, 253.591.5890, broadwaycenter.org

FEB. 11-12: PASSIONATE PUCCINI

Like emotions? Like, REALLY like emotions? Then you just might go nuts for Giacomo Puccini. The bad news is Giacomo Puccini, championed and ridiculed for his overly-emotional flare, died in 1922. The good news is the Northwest Sinfonietta is bringing Puccini's three great works, Madama Butterfly, La boheme, and Tosca to stages in Puyallup and Tacoma this week just in time for Valentine's Day. Offered under the titling Passionate Puccini, the Northwest Sinfonietta, which self-describes itself as "(a)n orchestra of passion, vision, thrill, and creation - an orchestra that awakens the musical spirit in all of us, performing to sold-out crowds of youngsters, hipsters, and connoisseurs alike," says to expect a an "evening of love, passion, and intrigue" from of Passionate Puccini. The Northwest Sinfonietta also promises its "guest vocalists will fire your imagination with the beloved arias and duets from three of Puccini's most famous masterpieces." That's hot. And it includes the impressive soprano Shana Blake Hill. Catch Passionate Puccini in Tacoma at the Rialto Theater Saturday, Feb. 11 and in P-Town Sunday, Feb. 12 at Pioneer Park.

• Rialto Theater, Saturday, Feb. 11, 7:30 p.m., $19-$49, 310 S. Ninth, Tacoma, 253.591.5890, broadwaycenter.org
• Pioneer Park Pavilion, Sunday, Feb. 12, 2 p.m., $30, 330 Meridian Ave., S, Puyallup, 253.383.5344

FEB. 11-12: FUN IN THE SNOW

Didn't quite get your fill of the white fluffy stuff during Snowmaggedon 2012? A glutton for punishment? Metro Parks Tacoma has you covered with two snow-related happenings going down this weekend. Saturday is one of four scheduled Metro Parks "Family Snow Days," which invite family groups of two or more to head up to Mt. Rainier for a day of sledding and fun in the snow. Of course, families must provide their own sleds and equipment, but the transportation and abundant chances for memory making are provided. Then, Sunday marks the Metro Parks Tacoma Adult Snowshoe Hike, which promises adventurers 21 years of age and older a chance to meet new friends while "learning the basics of cross-country skiing," on a groomed, level trail on Snoqualmie Pass. According to hype the trail is "just right for beginners," but you can be the judge of that.

• Family Snow Day, Saturday, Feb. 11, Pre-registration required by calling 253.594.7847, $20 for family of four, $4 per additional person, trips depart at 9 a.m. from various community centers and return at 4 p.m., find more info at metroparkstacoma.org/outdoor
• Adult Cross-Country Skiing, 9 a.m. - 4 p.m., Sunday, Feb. 12, Pre-registration required by calling 253.594.7847, $60 for Tacoma residents, $65 non-residents, includes equipment and instruction, trip departs from Metro Parks Headquarters, 4702 S. 19^th St., Tacoma, metroparkstacoma.org/outdoors

FEB. 11-12: CELEBRATE WITH METROPOLITAN BALLET OF TACOMA

This weekend Metropolitan Ballet of Tacoma celebrates 25 proud years with three limited performances at the MBT Studio. Looking back on a quarter century of ballet in T-Town, Metropolitan Ballet of Tacoma's presentation of choreography will include favorite dances like "Army, Navy, Airforce, Baby," "Female of the Species," "Shanti Mantra," "Broken Hearted Melody," "Mission," and "Monkey Puzzle." If you call Tacoma home, and your passionate about ballet, there's a good chance you've already been touched by the work of Metropolitan Ballet. Take an opportunity to pat the studio on the back this weekend.

• MBT Studio, Saturday, Feb. 11 2 and 6 p.m., Sunday, Feb. 12 2 p.m., $8 general admission - limited seating, 5435 South Tacoma Way, Tacoma, 253.472.5359

SUNDAY, FEB. 12: RICH WETZEL'S SUPER BOWL OF LIVE ENTERTAINMENT

Big band leader Rich Wetzel, no stranger to snappy sports coats and even snappier jazz numbers, isn't afraid to make a big promise. So, when he proclaims Sunday's performance at Stonegate Pizza as "the Super Bowl of live entertainment," we shouldn't be surprised. Does this mean we should expect four-plus hours of pomp and Madonna at halftime? Probably not. But what we can expect is a damn entertaining show from Wetzel and his 15-piece jazz rock orchestra.

• Stonegate Pizza, 5-8 p.m. 5421 South Tacoma Way, Tacoma, 253.473.2255

>>> WHAT SOME OF OUR STAFF MEMBERS ARE UP TO

CHRISTIAN CARVAJAL Theater Critic
We're seeing what promises to be a quirky show about Enron at SPSCC. Also, we're in a secret supper group (not so secret now, I guess), so we're cooking a sexy feast in honor of St. Valentine and his chubby, cherubic aides de l'amour.

STEVE DUNKELBERGER Photographer
I quite literally have nothing planned by serving Communion at church on Sunday. Rock Star!

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JOANN VARNELL Theater Critic
Another weekend with not much happening EXCEPT I get to go have tea with a friend (and my adorable toddler as a tag along). We'll go to church on Sunday and maybe watch a movie or two. I will probably try to talk my husband into cooking something fabulous.

ALEC CLAYTON Visual Arts Critic
Saturday I'll be the guest speaker at the Arts Olympia exhibition opening and Sunday I'll be attending PFLAG meeting.

NIKKI TALOTTA Music and Features Writer
This Friday I'm slingin drinks and taking care of the kids. You know - the usual. But Saturday is date night! Ricardo's steakhouse and Tush! Burlesque. Talk about primal delights! Sunday is writing and R&R.

JENNI PRANGE BORAN Arts and Features Writer
The usual: dancing with Camp 6 at New Frontier Friday night, and a vampire tour of Pioneer Square in Seattle on Saturday night. And laundry.

REV. ADAM MCKINNEY Music and Features Writer
We're putting on two all-ages shows this weekend at the Space to help raise money for April's Squeak and Squawk festival. Friday Santee, Makeup Monsters and a whole slew of other great bands will get on stage, and Saturday Calvin Johnson's Hive Dwellers will be in town.

JOSH RIZEBERG Tacoma Hip-Hop Writer
Friday at 6 p.m. at D.A.S.H. Center I'll be teaching my spoken-word/poetry class. Saturday I'll be rocking at Jazzbones with Ra Scion, City Hall and The Breaklites!

NIC LEONARD Olympia Hip-Hop Writer
Gonna open up for Too $hort at The Royal on Saturday followed by getting drunk.

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MOLLY GILMORE Olympia Arts and Features Writer
I'm spending all weekend dancing at a workshop with Michael Molin-Skelton, a teacher who is visiting from Los Angeles.

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JENNIFER JOHNSON Food & Lifestyles Writer
Friday Camp 6 Dance Party at The New Frontier with artist James Allan Tucker. Saturday gym then beachcombing in Gig Harbor. Sunday church and family time.

PAUL SCHRAG General Assignment Writer
Clown wrestling! I'm putting my money on Blocko. 

.

LINK: Even more local events that we recommend

LINK: Comprehensive South Sound Arts & Entertainment Calendar

THE LOWDOWN ON WHAT'S UP THIS WEEKEND >>>

WEATHER REPORT

Friday: Partly sunny, hi 54, lo 34

Saturday: Partly sunny, hi 54, lo 30

Sunday: Partly sunny, hi 54, lo 32

>>> FRIDAY, FEB. 3: LOVE PANEL & DESSERT PARTY

Very few of us fully comprehend the intricacies of love and relationships. Dessert, on the other hand, is something most have a firm grasp on. Friday in Olympia both aspects of our existence will be combined for the scrumptious (and enlightening) sounding Love Panel & Dessert Party at the Olympia Mahayana Buddhist Center. According to event hype, "[t]he evening begins with a decadent dessert and appetizer party featuring an array of irresistible treats," before "The Love Panel" - consisting of three Buddhist teachers (Olympia's Kelsang Tsoglam, Portland's Kadam Heather Rocklin and Seattle's Patrick Meagher) - answers the crowd's questions about love and relationships "from a Buddhist point of view." Should you hit that? Let Buddha guide you.

• Olympia Mahayana Buddhist Center, 6:30-8:30 p.m., $12, free for supporters, 211 Legion Way SW, Olympia, 360.754.7787, meditateinolympia.org

>>> FEB. 3-19: THE PHANTOM TOLLBOOTH

The Phantom Tollbooth, a children's adventure novel by Norton Juster published in 1961, is loved to this day by children and adults alike. While it's easy to see why children connect to young Milo's tale, it also doesn't take much pondering to see why many adults still harbor a soft spot for the book. Luckily for all parties involved, Olympia Family Theater opens a three-week run of the stage version of The Phantom Tollbooth this week at the Washington Center for the Performing Arts - Black Box.

• Washington Center for the Performing Arts - Black Box, Friday - Saturday 7 p.m., Sunday 1 p.m., "Thrifty Thursday," Feb. 9 at 7 p.m., $16 adults, $13 senior/military/student, 512 Washington St. SE, Olympia, 360.753.8586

>>> FRIDAY, FEB. 3: WISH YOU WERE HERE

Derailed, like many things, by snowmaggedon 2012, the opening reception for South Puget Sound Community College's Wish You Were Here postcard exhibit has been rescheduled for Friday. As Volcano arts critic Alec Clayton noted in his review of the show, "There are a lot of artist-made postcards in the Wish You Were Here postcard exhibit at the Kenneth J. Minnaert Center for the Arts Gallery at South Puget Sound Community College. More than 75 local and regional artists submitted more than 250 works. ... [T]hey run the gamut, from sweet and sentimental to corny, wise, clever, beautiful, stupid and amateurish. The postcards include paintings, prints, photography, drawing, ceramics, sculpture and mixed media. A few of the postcards in this show are clichéd, and there are some that are badly done; but for the most part the works are very inventive and skillfully executed." Wish You Were Here runs through March 2 at the SPSCC Kenneth J. Minnaert Center for the Arts Gallery.

• SPSCC Kenneth J. Minnaert Center for the Arts Gallery, opening reception, Friday, Feb. 3, 6-8 p.m., free, 2011 Mottman Rd. SW. Olympia, 360.596.5527 or email artgallery@spscc.ctc.edu

>>> FRIDAY, FEB. 3: SCREWING MOTHER NATURE

Screwing something for profit gets a negative connotation when taken in its most basic form, but - if you think about it-it's also the American way. Or at least the American Capitalist way. Friday at Orca Books in Olympia, local author and television producer Elaine Smitha will delve into her recent book, Screwing Mother Nature for Profit. (But what about fun?) According to event hype, "Ransacking pristine forests, vandalizing sacred lands and exploiting nature the world over: there are no limits to what Big Business will do to turn profit. But in this revelatory book, renowned businesswoman Elaine Smitha takes on the corporations and governments, showing them how to clean up their act by adopting the characteristics of the one thing they are damaging the most: Mother Nature herself. Will they listen? Only time will tell. The one thing that's certain is you should listen to Smitha in person at Orca Friday.

• Orca Books, 7 p.m., free, 509 Fourth Ave. E, Olympia 360.0123

>>> FRIDAY, FEB. 3: TACOMAPOCALYPSE II

We'll be frank. Apocalypse-like events usually only happen once. If an apocalypse-like event ever returns, it's either really bad news, or a sign that things weren't that apocalyptic in the first place. The good news about the Treefish Studio-produced Tacomapocalypse II, set to inhabit Amocat Café during the month of February starting Friday, is neither statement is true. A collection of two and three-dimensional art that's heavy on the zombie, and designed to offer a gruesome alternative to the usual Valentines-style lovey-dovey crap that's everywhere else this time of year, Tacomapocalypse II is the sequel to last year's successful Zombie Tacomapocalypse. Stuart M. Dempster of Treefish Studio in Tacoma spoke to the Volcano prior to last year's event, saying, ""While other shows will be talking about how they want you for your heart or your body, we're only out for your brains." We imagine the same, or something very similar, holds true this year. Friday's opening party will include snacks, live electronic music from Gibson Starkweather and quite possibly a zombie horde.

• Amocat Café, Tacomapocalypse II opening party,5:30 - 9  p.m., free, Tacomapocalypse II runs  through Feb. 29, 7 a.m. - 2:30 p.m., Monday -Friday, 625 St. Helens Ave., Tacoma

>>> FRIDAY, FEB. 3: STYX

Styx will never fucking die. The band is like a dated, long-haired, tight-jeaned, effeminate Energizer Bunny, stuck in a era long gone but still chugging along like nothing has changed. And, for many of the band's fans, as those in attendance Friday night at the Emerald Queen Casino will see firsthand, nothing has changed. Especially when it comes to fashion sense. Sing along to the hits or just revel at the bald spots when Styx hits the EQC. Later, blow a few dollars on the slots.

• Emerald Queen Casino - I-5 Showroom, 8:30 p.m., $40-$70, 2024 E 29^th St., Tacoma, 888.831.7655, emeraldqueen.com

>>> SATURDAY, FEB. 4: SCRAPARTSMUSIC

Like banging on s***? So do the folks behind ScrapArtsMusic, a Canadian performance outfit coming to Olympia this week to blow your mind. On the group's website, ScrapArtsMusic is described thusly: "An earth-friendly, Vancouver-based company that creates unforgettable percussion performances using kinetic instruments skillfully crafted from industrial scraps. 2. An entertaining contemporary invented instrument ensemble. 3. Five extraordinarily virtuosic and innovative drummers. 4. The result of transforming ‘scrap' into "art,' and ‘art' into'"music.'" Intrigued? You should be. The brainchild of percussion freak Gregory Kozak and designer Justine Murdy, ScrapArtsMusic may well prove to be the week's grandest spectacle.

• Washington Center for the Performing Arts, 7:30 p.m., $7.50-$35, 512 Washington St. SE, Olympia, 360.753.8586

>>> SATURDAY, FEB. 4: TWO TRAINS RUNNING

Playwright August Wilson is best known for his Pittsburgh Cycle - a series of ten plays each set in a different decade recalling the struggles and comedies of the African American experience in the Twentieth Century. That's what happens when you win two Pulitzer Prizes for Drama for something. Saturday, the Broadway Center, Northwest Playwrights Alliance and Washington State History Museum bring us Two Trains Running, part of Wilson's Pittsburgh Cycle recalling Civil  Rights Era Pittsburgh in 1969.Hype on the Broadway Center website describes the play, saying "In spite of the political and social change that sweeps through the nation, many of the characters are too cynical and down-trodden to experience hope for the future or even rage for the ongoing tragedies."

• Washington State History Museum, Two Trains Running, Saturday, Feb. 4, 3 p.m., $14, 1911 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.272.9747, broadwaycenter.org

>>> ALL WEEKEND: THE SEAFARER

Olympia's Harlequin Production's celebrates the opening of Conor McPherson's The Seafarer Thursday, a production running through Feb. 18 at Harlequin's home, The State Theater. According to hype, McPherson "has a stunning ability to remind us that logic and reason are but weak weapons against the myth and magic that permeate our lives," and The Seafarer, "is an incredibly beautiful and rewarding story of redemption that may put people off initially, because who wants to watch a bunch of alcoholic losers celebrating Christmas?" We do! We do!

• Harlequin Productions - The State Theater, through Feb. 18,Thursday - Saturday 8 p.m., Sunday 2 p.m., "Pay What You Can" Wednesday, Feb. 1 8 p.m., "Ladies Night" Friday, Feb. 3 7 p.m., $31, 202 Fourth Ave. E, Olympia, harlequinproductions.org

>>> WHAT SOME OF OUR STAFF MEMBERS ARE UP TO

CHRISTIAN CARVAJAL Theater Critic
I'm seeing The Phantom Tollbooth at Olympia Family Theater, followed by a trip to Seattle on Saturday. I'm feeling Lunchbox Labby this weekend.

STEVE DUNKELBERGER Photographer
I will be the emcee at the St. Mary's Church and School on Saturday so I have my tux all  ready to go. Other than that, I have some kiddo plans for geocaching around T town if we don't need a canoe to get around.

JOANN VARNELL Theater Critic
Sleep. Wake. Hang out with the toddler and document new words and funny moments with video/pictures. Sleep. Wake. Church. I'll also eat whenever and wherever I can fit it in. Maybe shower. You know, the usual.

ALEC CLAYTON Visual Arts Critic
It's going to be a great big weekend full of theater. The Seafarer at Harlequin, Hair at Capital Playhouse and California Suite at Tacoma Little Theatre.

NIKKI TALOTTA Music and Features Writer
My house is officially becoming a ranch. This weekend I'm getting two more chickens, a pretty white dog, and some neon fish to go along with the existing chicken, koi fish, tom cat and two barefoot children. Wish me luck.

JENNI PRANGE BORAN Arts and Features Writer
Saturday, pizza and cake to celebrate my son's 5th birthday.  Sunday, babysitter permitting, Super Bowl at the Harmon Tap Room where my husband and I will enjoy discount food and beer during the game, and a lovely cab ride home afterwards.

REV. ADAM MCKINNEY Music and Features Writer
Venturing up to Ballard on Saturday to catch Derek Kelley and the Speedwobbles at the Sunset Tavern. The performance will apparently be broadcast on KEXP, so maybe listen for me girlishly creaming Tristan Marcum's name from the crowd.

JOSH RIZEBERG Tacoma Hip-Hop Writer
I'll be teaching my spoken-word/poetry class at the D.A.S.H. Center for the Arts on Friday from 6-7 p.m. Saturday I'll be recording two verses for Jon Salt's new album at Remedy Recording with DJ Phinisey and I'll be hitting Illizm's video shoot in Everett to make a cameo.

NIC LEONARD Olympia Hip-Hop Writer
I'm going to the Andre Nickatina show on Saturday at the capitol theatre then probably go get drunk at the Brotherhood afterwards.

MOLLY GILMORE Olympia Arts and Features Writer
I'm going to see The Seafarer at Harlequin and taking a day trip to Port Townsend.

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JENNIFER JOHNSON Food & Lifestyles Writer
Friday date night, Saturday gym and homework, Sunday church and potluck dinner.

LINK: Even more local events that we recommend

LINK: Comprehensive South Sound Arts & Entertainment Calendar

THE LOWDOWN ON WHAT'S UP THIS WEEKEND >>>

WEATHER REPORT

Friday: Partly sunny, hi 46, lo 30

Saturday: Cloudy, hi 46, lo 39

Sunday: Rain, hi 48, lo 41

>>> JAN. 26-28: NEAL BRENNAN

One thing you've got to credit comedians for is their work ethic. No, seriously, hear us out on this one. While it's true that plenty of well-known comedians over the years have made the job synonymous with debauchery, partying, reckless excess, chain smoking and basic, unabashed indulgence of all kinds, the fact is most serious comedians work their asses off - touring from town to town (often to unglamorous locales like Tacoma), and getting up on stage night after night. Comedian Neal Brennan - who most folks at this point associate with the bullet on his resume that says "co-creator of Chappelle's Show" - returns to Tacoma and the Tacoma Comedy Club this week. Basically six months after his last stop in Tacoma, Brennan is obviously a hard worker. He's also hella funny. We know because we YouTubed a bunch of his s*** prior to his July swing through T-Town. And we wouldn't use a word like "hella" if we weren't serious.

• Tacoma Comedy Club, Thursday 8 p.m., Friday - Saturday 8 p.m. and 10:30 p.m., $15 adv, $20 door, 933 Market St., Tacoma, 253.282.7203

>>> JAN. 27-28: BIG MINI GOLF CLASSIC

Nothing quite supports the arts like mini golf. Or putt-putt golf. Or whatever you call it. Yes, it's true. While smacking the ball through the windmill and past the sand trap might not seem like it has anything at all to do with helping bring the fine arts to the stage in Olympia, quite the opposite is true. The proof: This week sees the return of the Washington Center for the Performing Arts' Big Mini Golf Classic, which invites patrons of all ages a chance to play a mini-golf course that winds throughout the building. Friday a 21+ mini-golf party invites foursomes to play through various snack bars and "watering holes," while also enjoying a chipping contest on the main stage. Saturday, the whole family is invited to enjoy a day of putt-putt, face painting and hot dogs. As mentioned, it's all presented by the Washington Center.

• Washington Center for the Performing Arts, Friday 6-10 p.m., Saturday 10 a.m. - 4 p.m., 512 Washington St., SE, Olympia, 360.753.8585

>>> JAN. 27-29: LATE NIGHT CATECHISM:‘TIL DEATH DO US PART

I'm not Catholic, but my dad was. Or at least he grew up Catholic. From what I understand it involved a lot of guilt. And nuns. At any rate, one year, back in the day, he and my mom went to see some version of Late Night Catechism in Tacoma - likely at the Broadway Center, though I can't be certain of that. It sounded racy at the time, but I was, like, 12.  He seemed to enjoy it. As did my mom - who wasn't even close to Catholic. But that's only kind of important. What does this have to do with anything? Not much, other than Late Night Catechism: "Til Death Do Us Part will be at the Broadway Center this weekend and next, delivering the latest installment in the "sinfully funny series." This time Sister tackles relationships - with plenty of audience participation, naturally. - Matt Driscoll

• Theatre on the Square, Jan. 20-21 & 27-28 7:30 p.m., 3 p.m. Jan. 28-29, $39, 915 Broadway, Tacoma, 253.591.5890

>>> ALL WEEKEND: TACOMA HOME & GARDEN SHOW

Surely you have a few home improvements you've been meaning to make. Maybe, for instance, a gigantic, icy tree limb recent crashed through your mudroom. Need some inspiration to get the job started? This week the annual Tacoma Home & Garden Show returns to the Tacoma Dome, running Wednesday through Sunday and bringing more garden demonstrations, bathroom renovation tips, vinyl siding samples, shag carpet displays, mulching systems and kitchen cabinet seminars than you'll find just about anywhere. This marks the 29^th year of the Tacoma Home & Garden Show.

• Tacoma Dome, Wednesday - Thursday 11 a.m. - 8 p.m., Friday - Saturday 10 a.m. - 8 p.m., Sunday 10 a.m. - 5 p.m., $10 adults, $8 Seniors, 16 and under free, $16 two-day pass, 2727 East D Street  Tacoma, otshows.com/ths

>>> FRIDAY, JAN. 27: THE FOLK INSPIRED CELLO

While we totally had to Google him, it's no lie when the University of Puget Sound website touts David Requiro as a prize-winning cellist. Requiro is also an artist in residence at UPS, who Friday will bust out The Folk Inspired Cello along with violinist Maria Sampen and pianist Tanya Stambuk as part of the Jacobsen Series of concerts. According to pre-event hype, "Long before the cello was a member of symphony orchestras, its voice was often heard with that of the fiddle, in folk music played from Scotland to Hungary. That tradition ended about 150 years ago. Yet some modern classical composers, whose work is inspired by folk music, have called upon the cello again to create the uniquely wistful and blithe tones of folk melodies." Requiro and his presentation of The Folk Inspired Cello fit this mold. "What makes this program so special are the distinctive musical languages of the composers we chose," says Requiro of the show on the UPS website. Hear for yourself.

• University of Puget Sound Schneebeck Concert Hall, 7:30 p.m., $12.50 general public, $8.50 for seniors (55+), students, military, and UPS faculty and staff, free for current UPS students, 1500 North Warner St.  Tacoma, 253.879.3419

>>> JAN. 27-28: THE RIGHTEOUS MOTHERS & SHACK

As part of a benefit for Olympia's PFLAG - a very worthy organization that describes itself as, "the nation's foremost family-based organization committed to the civil rights of gays, lesbians, bisexual and transgender persons" - Steve Schalchlin and the Righteous Mothers will take to the stage this weekend at Traditions Café. With shows on Friday and Saturday night, the show is going by the billing of "Peace with Justice Concert." Schalchlin is known as the composer, lyricists and performer of off-Broadway shows like New World Waking: A Musical Insurrection for Peace. The Righteous Mothers are known for humorous little feminist folk ditties like "Old Fat Naked Women for Peace," "Lesbian Honeymoon Holiday" and "60,000 Naked Hoosiers." There's no way this show won't be great.

• Traditions Café, 8 p.m. both nights, $25 suggested donation, 300 Fifth Ave. SW, Olympia, 360.705.2819

>>> SATURDAY, JAN. 28: TACOMA URBAN ORCHESTRA

Saturday, the currently trending Tacoma Urban Orchestra will lay down 14 - XIV Underground, a dance opera by Benjamin Smith-Chenovick, at The Library at Sanford and Son Antiques. Event hype promises the premiere of Acts IV and V from the Tacoma Urban Orchestra's winter show of 2012, plus Colin Reynolds of I Low singing tenor, the dance and choreography of Karin Stevens and Katrina Ellison and the costume design of Lisa Fruichantie. Expect quintessential Tacoma at its most awesome.

• Sanford and Son Antiques: The Library, doors at 7 p.m., show at 7:30 p.m., $7, 743 Broadway, Tacoma, facebook.com/tacomaurbanorchestra

>>> ALL WEEKEND: WASHINGTON SPORTSMEN'S SHOW

It's a busy week for O'Laughlin Trade Shows - the juggernaut behind this week's Tacoma Home & Garden Show at the Tacoma Dome, AND the 25^th annual Washington Sportsmen's Show and Sport Fishing Boat Show at the Puyallup Fairgrounds. Wednesday through Sunday, the Washington Sportsmen's Show will offer the best in dudes wearing flannel and exaggerated fishing stories. But, best of all, check out what's billed as the "one-of-a-kind" indoor "Steelhead River." It's hard to go wrong with an indoor river. According to hype, other attractions include over 150 hours of how-to seminars, camp cooking demos and a free trout pond for the kids. Wait!?! Two indoor bodies of water? Just pinch us now.

• Puyallup Fair & Events Center, noon - 8 p.m. Wednesday - Friday, 10 a.m. - 8 p.m. Saturday, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. Sunday, $12 adults, $5 for ages 6 - 16, free for 5 and younger, 110 Ninth Ave. SW, Puyallup, thesportshows.com/wss

>>> ALL WEEKEND: THE SEAFARER

Olympia's Harlequin Production's celebrates the opening of Conor McPherson's The Seafarer Thursday, a production running through Feb. 18 at Harleequin's home, The State Theater. According to hype, McPherson " has a stunning ability to remind us that logic and reason are but weak weapons against the myth and magic that permeate our lives," and The Seafarer, "is an incredibly beautiful and rewarding story of redemption that may put people off initially, because who wants to watch a bunch of alcoholic losers celebrating Christmas?" We do! We do!

• Harlequin Productions - The State Theater, through Feb. 18,Thursday - Saturday 8 p.m., Sunday 2 p.m., "Pay What You Can" Wednesday, Feb. 1 8 p.m., "Ladies Night" Friday, Feb. 3 7 p.m., $31, 202 Fourth Ave. E, Olympia, harlequinproductions.org

>>> SUNDAY, JAN. 29: SOUTH SOUND WEDDING SHOW

 A large percentage of people get married at some point during their lives. Some people, like Newt Gingrich for instance, do it several times. Hopefully soon it will be legal for gay folks to marry too. The fact is, weddings are a big part of our existence. All the more reason to check out the fifth annual South Sound Wedding Show Sunday at Centraila's Great Wolf Lodge. Expect everything from wedding gown and tuxedo models to dancing demonstrations. Pro Tip: If you're South Sound Wedding Show date ditches you for one of the Great Wolf water slides, he's probably not the one.

• Great Wolf Lodge, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m., $8, 20500 Old Highway 99 SW., Centralia, southsoundweddingshowolympia.com

>>> SUNDAY, JAN. 29: OLY ROLLERS BOUT 1

The legendary Oly Rollers - former WFTDA National Champions -- open the 2012 season Sunday at Skateland in Olympia with double-header action that promises to be as exciting as it is captivating. Billed as "two full hours of women's flat track roller derby fun," the double-headers kicks off with when the Oly Rollers' Bella Donnas squad takes on Centralia's Rainy City Roller Dolls, and continues with the Oly Rollers' Dropkick Donnas battling the Sicktown Rollergirls of Corvallis, Ore. There's no way this isn't an epic throwdown.

• Skateland, 6 p.m., $15, 1200 S. Bay Road, Olympia, olyrollers.com

>>> WHAT SOME OF OUR STAFF MEMBERS ARE UP TO

STEVE DUNKELBERGER Photographer

Hitting the Tacoma Urban Orchestra performance and then chilling with my ukulele and German Shepherd

JENNIFER JOHNSON Food & Lifestyles Writer
I will be doing homework all weekend. Oh, the thrilling life of a college student.

.

CHRISTIAN CARVAJAL Theater Critic
This is a big theater weekend in Oly, so I'm seeing Hair at Capital Playhouse and The Seafarer at Harlequin. Also, it'll be good to have lights and cable TV again.

JOE IZENMAN Theater Critic
This weekend we're playing catchup for last week's cold and, well, cold. Seeing Play It Again, Sam at Lakewood Playhouse on Friday, taking a make-up dance lesson at Studio 6, and seeing some movies (The Artist and/or Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close). And then Sunday is of course the most exciting football game of the season: the Pro Bowl. (Guess which one of these things is a lie. Hint: the Pro Bowl blows.)

JOANN VARNELL Theater Critic
After last week's openings of California Suite at Tacoma Little Theatre and Xanadu at Tacoma Musical Playhouse, I decided this weekend needed another theatrical outing. Instead of reviewing a play for the Volcano, I will be attending a professional development workshop at The Broadway Center. I will take part in an improv workshop and then watch Late Nite Catechism: 'Til Death Do Us Part (well, providing the little son and husband can stay out of trouble). Other than that I may try and FINALLY finish making my sushi skirt. Seriously, how hard is it to pin and hem a skirt???

ALEC CLAYTON Visual Arts Critic
I'll be at the Steve Schalchlin and The Righteous Mothers concert, both nights, Friday and Sat.

.

LINK: Even more local events that we recommend

LINK: Comprehensive South Sound Arts & Entertainment Calendar

THE LOWDOWN ON WHAT'S UP THIS WEEKEND >>>

WEATHER REPORT

Friday: Rain slush nightmare, hi 45, lo 43

Saturday: Rain, hi 43, lo 37

Sunday: Rain, hi 43, lo 37

>>> FRIDAY, JAN. 20: NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC LIVE - ANNIE GRIFFITHS

Most parents these days know the joy of balancing family and a career. It's become a survival necessity, whether we like it or not. What does this have to do with photographing white-bearded wildebeest on the Serengeti? You would think very little, until stumbling upon the work and career of National Geographic photographer Annie Griffiths - who will be in Olympia Friday for another presentation of National Geographic Live at the Washington Center for the Performing Arts. As the Washington Center website notes, "As perhaps the only photographer in history to pack her camera gear in Pampers, Griffiths has blazed a trail for other photographers, and other working parents. With warmth and humor, [her presentation Friday] explores the realities of juggling family and career as she travels the world for National Geographic."

• Carwein Auditorium, noon, free, Keystone Building, Room 102, University of Washington Tacoma, 1900 Commerce St., Tacoma, 253.627.2175

>>> FRIDAY, JAN. 20: VARSITY GRILL ICE BLOCK PARTY

Every year Varsity Grill in Tacoma hosts its Ice Block Party. It's on the patio. Get it!?! No, but seriously, you'll want to take note because this annual event offers beer lovers and/or straight-up alcoholics the chance at beer in all degrees of wintery awesomeness: the $20 fee gets you 9 winter beer tastings from some of the region's top winter brews. Plus there'll be prizes and giveaways. Plus beer experts and brewers will be all up in the house. Plus Rock-Bot live-band karaoke will be there to rock your face off and shit after it's all over. It's a no-brainer. And yes, wussy, tents and outdoor heaters will be provided.

• Varsity Grill, 5:30-9 p.m., $20, Rock-Bot Live Band Karaoke 8 p.m. to close, 1114 Broadway, Tacoma, 253.627.1229

>>> JAN. 20-21 & 27-29: LATE NIGHT CATECHISM:‘TIL DEATH DO US PART

I'm not Catholic, but my dad was. Or at least he grew up Catholic. From what I understand it involved a lot of guilt. And nuns. At any rate, one year, back in the day, he and my mom went to see some version of Late Night Catechism in Tacoma - likely at the Broadway Center, though I can't be certain of that. It sounded racy at the time, but I was, like, 12.  He seemed to enjoy it. As did my mom - who wasn't even close to Catholic. But that's only kind of important. What does this have to do with anything? Not much, other than Late Night Catechism: "Til Death Do Us Part will be at the Broadway Center this weekend and next, delivering the latest installment in the "sinfully funny series." This time Sister tackles relationships - with plenty of audience participation, naturally. - Matt Driscoll

• Theatre on the Square, Jan. 20-21 & 27-28 7:30 p.m., 3 p.m. Jan. 28-29, $39, 915 Broadway, Tacoma, 253.591.5890

>>> SATURDAY, JAN. 21: DOCKYARD DERBY DAMES OPENING BOUT

Like an old friend returning from a lengthy retreat (read: court-ordered stay in rehab) the Dockyard Derby Dames cruise back into town this weekend, opening the club's sixth season in typical knockdown, drag-out fashion at Pierce College in Lakewood. Billed as "a night of rivalries, rematches and retribution," the season-opening bout pits the Hellbound Homewreckers and the Femme Fianna in what promises to be a heated competition full of women fully capable of kicking your ass, followed by the Marauding Mollys taking on the Trampires, which, well, you know the deal. The doors open at 5 p.m. with the first bout starting at 6 p.m. The Dockyard Derby Dames pride themselves on a family-friendly experience (that includes a beer garden for family members old enough to drink). Tickets are a few bucks cheaper via Brown Paper Tickets than at the door, so keep that in mind.

• Pierce College Health Ed. Center, 5 p.m. doors, 6 p.m. first bout, $12 adv, $15 door, children 5 and younger free; ages 6-12 years old $10, 9401 Farwest Dr SW
  Lakewood

>>> SATURDAY, JAN. 21: VAGABOND OPERA

Unschooled in the "neo-cabaret" musical genre? Don't fret - just check out Portland's Vagabond Opera - returning to Olympia this Saturday for a performance at the Olympia Ballroom that promises to be mesmerizing. Even more exciting: the show will act as a celebration of the Vagabond Opera's just-released fourth full-length record, as well as the release of local favorites Erev Rav's latest CD - with that band also on the bill. Truly offering music of the world, the six-piece Vagabond Opera reportedly dabbles in sounds spanning the globe - from European cabaret, to Balkan belly dance, to Old World Yiddish theater and beyond. There's a reason this mesmerizing troupe has shared stages with the Decemberists, Pink Martini and Al Franken and the Oregon Symphony. It's because they're awesome.

• The Olympia Ballroom, with Erev Rav, 8 p.m., $15, 116 Legion Way SW, Olympia, brownpapertickets.com

>>> SUNDAY, JAN. 22: AUDREY HEPBURN FILM FOCUS: MY FAIR LADY

The Broadway Center in Tacoma concludes its three-part Audrey Hepburn film-focus with Sunday's screening of the classic My Fair Lady, in which, as film lovers and old people will recall, Hepburn portrays Eliza Doolittle. The Broadway Center's Hepburn film focus series kicked off in 2011 with a screening of Roman Holiday on Oct. 23, and continued Nov. 13 with Breakfast at Tiffany's. Sunday's 3 p.m. screening of the George Cukor-directed My Fair Lady will wrap up the fun. But don't be too sad: the $12 admission scores you free popcorn as well.

• Theatre on the Square, 3 p.m., $12, 915 Broadway, Tacoma, 253.591.5890

>>> WHAT SOME OF OUR STAFF MEMBERS ARE UP TO

STEVE DUNKELBERGER Meat Market Photographer

I am going to be uking out with Jake Shimabakuo tomorrow and then hit Xanadu at Tacoma Musical Playhouse on Sunday.

MATT DRISCOLL Editor
I'll be dealing with the tree that just fell on our mudroom on Friday, laying low on Saturday, and Sunday celebrating an end-of-season party with one of the three fantasy football leagues I was in this year. I'm sure you're filled with envy.

JENNIFER JOHNSON Food & Lifestyles Writer
Friday Jake Shimabukuro at the Rialto Theater, Saturday gym and homework, Sunday church and mission farewell.

CHRISTIAN CARVAJAL Theater Critic
I will either be huddled at home with my wife and my Nook or passed out in a dead tauntaun somewhere.

RON SWARNERN Publisher
After hitting the grand opening shindig at Anthem Coffee, it will most likely be family movie night. Then, instead of making my family uncomfortbale with my stories of the '70s, I'll hang with similar ilk at the Big Wheel Stunt Show Saturday night at Hell's Kitchen. Sunday, I will finally attempt to put the kid's toys together during the playoff games.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

THE LOWDOWN ON WHAT'S UP THIS WEEKEND >>>

WEATHER REPORT

Friday: Slightly sunny, hi 46, lo 36

Saturday: Rain, hi 43, lo 34

Sunday: Rain possibly mixed with snow, hi 37, lo28

>>> FRIDAY, JAN. 13:OLYMPIA COMMUNITY BLUEGRASS MUSIC SHOW

Few things scream Olympia more than a community-powered bluegrass show that benefits SafePlace and Bread & Roses. It's literally perfect. Friday, that's just what will be on the docket with the return of the Olympia Community Bluegrass Music Show, this year bringing Blackberry Bushes, Mission Mountain and Black River Bluegrass to the stage at South Sound Manor (near Olympia High School). All that goodness aside, there's at least a decent chance the after-show jam session that invites attendees to bring their instruments from home and join in the plucking good times will steal the show. Donations for SafePlace and Bread & Roses will be gladly accepted, with items like paper towels, toilet paper, shampoo, conditioner, diapers and phone cards of particular need.

• South Sound Manor, show 6:30 - 9 p.m., jam session 9 - 10 p.m., $5 adults, kids free, 455 North St. SE, Tumwater, jameswmiernyk@comcast.net

>>> FRIDAY, JAN. 13: BATE'S MLK CELEBRATION

The annual Bates Technical College MLK Day Celebration seems sure to deliver once again this year, bringing community leaders like Tacoma City Council member Victoria Woodards, community organizer and United Parcel Service Exec Frank Boykin and Evergreen State College Tacoma Campus Executive Director Dr. Artee Young together to talk about service, leadership and responsibility. The theme of the event will revolve around strengthening our communities through these three key elements, with each invited guest sharing what all of this means to them. On Monday, as has become tradition, Bates students and faculty will march from the school's downtown campus at 11^th and Yakima to the Tacoma Dome to attend the City of Tacoma's annual MLK Celebration.

• Bates Technical College, 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m., free, 1101 S. Yakima, Tacoma, 253.680.7113, or www.bates.ctc.edu/Diversity

>>> SATURDAY, JAN. 14: CHILDREN'S MUSEUM OF TACOMA GRAND (RE)OPENING

Closed since December, the Children's Museum of Tacoma will celebrate its grand re-opening Saturday at the museum's new location, 1501 Pacific Ave. in downtown Tacoma. Hype for the evening's swanky Grand Opening Gala promises, "an evening of art, entertainment, and playful surprises." But even before that, during the day Saturday, experience the fun and entertainment provided by the museum's new digs during public play and exploration from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Those interested in such things will surely enjoy the opening ceremony and remarks scheduled for 10:45 a.m.

• Children's Museum of Tacoma, 9-10:30 a.m. Member-Only Play, 10:45 a.m. Opening Ceremony and Remarks, 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Public Play and Exploration, Grand Opening Gala - 5:30 p.m. SPARK Patron Preview, 6:30 p.m. Sparkler Admission, 1501 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, for more info visit playtacoma.org

>>> JAN. 14-16: LET'S PLAY & LET'S WALK

Tim Waer, executive director of the Tacoma-Pierce County Sports Commission, is glowing with that combination of exhaustion and exhilaration one gets at mile 23 of a marathon. For good reason. Over the past 50 days, he and his staff of six have scrambled to give life to a long-term idea the Tacoma-Pierce County Sports Commission has held, bringing the emphasis on sports back to Tacoma.The dream suddenly became a reality when a gymnastics tournament needed some help paying for space at the Greater Tacoma Convention and Trade Center over the holiday weekend of Jan. 14-16. A lemons-into-lemonade concept was born: spin the gymnastics tournament into what Waer hopes will be an annual event, the LET'S PLAY! Sports and Fitness Fest, an ambitious, all-inclusive celebration of Tacoma's unsung amateur sports clubs. To read Jenni Prange Boran's full feature, click here.

• Greater Tacoma Convention and Trade Center, Saturday 10 a.m. to 6 p.m., Sunday 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., Monday "Let's Walk!" starts at 9 a.m., free, 1500 Broadway, Tacoma, letsplaytacoma.org

>>> SATURDAY, JAN. 14: GABRIEL IGLESIAS

Comedian Gabriel Iglesias isn't fat ... he's fluffy. Or so goes the joke. In truth, Iglesias is probably a little bit of both. Saturday, the well-known laugh-maker will bring his comic styling to the Emerald Queen Casino in Tacoma, offering fans of high-energy ranting a chance to catch Iglesias' magic in person - not just on late night Comedy Central reruns. According to promotion for the show, Iglesias' "high-octane show is a hilarious mixture of storytelling, parodies, characters and sound effects that bring all his personal issues to life." Plus, there'll be fat jokes.

• Emerald Queen Casino, 8 p.m., $40-$80, 2024 E. 29th St., Tacoma, 888.831.7655

>>> SATURDAY, JAN. 14: ELVIS BIRTHDAY BASH

In Olympia, the King's birthday has become synonymous with one man: Robert Washington - one of the world's top Elvis impersonators ... and a guy who happens to be black. To some this is controversial. To Washington, it's simply his calling. "I don't really think about it. I'm not going to let my color prevent me from being the best," Washington told the Weekly Volcano in 2004. Saturday, Washington will be back in Oly at the Capitol Theater for the 12th annual "Elvis Birthday Bash." A screening of the film Almost Elvis, in which Washington is featured, will kick off at 7:30 p.m., with Washington taking the stage following the movie.

• Capitol Theater, film screening at 7:30 p.m., concert at 9 p.m., $10-$15, 206 Fifth Ave. SE, Olympia, 360.754.6670

>>> WHAT SOME OF OUR STAFF MEMBERS ARE UP TO

STEVE DUNKELBERGER Meat Market Photographer
Likely I will not be doing a whole heck of a lot but I might find myself at a movie or maybe in Oly for a tour of the musicians along Fourth Avenue.

CHRISTIAN CARVAJAL Theater Critic
We're seeing Almost, Maine at Olympia Little Theatre on Friday, then traveling to Portland to see some friends and eat delicious Pok Pok. Oh, Ike's Sticky Wings, how my stomach enjoys making out with you.

JENNIFER JOHNSON Food & Lifestyles Writer
Church dinner party Friday. Get my butt kicked at the gym Saturday morning followed by tea at Mad Hat then dinner with besties. Church Sunday.

JOANN VARNELL Theater Critic
I'm very excited for my three day weekend. Friday night we will make homemade pizza, that is, if I have anything to say about it. Sometime Saturday Sunday or Monday I will FINALLY finish my sushi skirt, start my blog, and fix my 1953 Ford so I can drive it around town. I will also try to acquire a traveling red dress and firm up plans for a photo shoot with said dress, my little son, my '53 and maybe the zoo.

JOE IZENMAN Theater Critic
Going to a seminar in Seattle on racially-motivated inner-city gang violence. Wait, no. Going to see West Side Story at the Paramount. Close enough, right? Also, my friends in Vida Vore are releasing a CD on Friday night at O'Malleys, so there's that.

NIKKI TALOTTA Music and Features Writer
I plan to whoop ass in my Family Feud audition. That is all.

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ALEC CLAYTON Visual Arts Critic/Writer
Me be going to SAGE Olympia meet & greet happy hour at the Urban Onion. Me be going to see "Almost Main" at Olympia Little Theatre.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

THE LOWDOWN ON WHAT'S UP THIS WEEKEND >>>

WEATHER REPORT

Friday: Rain, hi 46, lo 34

Saturday: Chance of sun, hi 41, lo 36

Sunday: Cloudy, hi 46, lo 41

>>> FRIDAY, DEC. 30:JAMES HILBORNE & THE PAINKILLERS

The music of James Hilborne and the Painkillers would be odd in any number of places, but, in Tacoma, it's more or less an anomaly. Ostensibly, the Painkillers play Americana: streaks of country twang and blues rock run through the band's songs, but these elements are accompanied by errant spells of psychedelia and druggy macabre. On record, the Painkillers' music is tremulous and strange, smothered as it is in the kind of haze that one might think would envelop country rock was born under Tacoma's unforgiving gloomy skies. James Hilborne and the Painkillers are the perfect band to send you drifting dreamily along into New Year's Eve, and from there the uncertain future.

• The New Frontier Lounge, with Humble Cub, special guests, 9 p.m., cover TBA, 301 E. 25th St., Tacoma, 253.572.4020

>>> SATURDAY, DEC. 31: THE BROHO'S NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY

The Brotherhood Lounge in Olympia tops the dichotomy list. At the heart of this red-walled haven of booze, dancing and debauchery are community and solidarity. You see, while you kiss the closest beautiful face at midnight - colorful balloons dropping all around and your head dizzy with drinks - you can take solace in the fact that if you were to drop dead at this point, at least you know half of your door money is going to Safeplace, a local non-profit that supports victims of sexual assault and domestic violence. DJ Dead-Air, from Portland, will be spinning all night, and has been said to induce spiritual journeys through his picks of ‘80s, rawk, punk, disco and more. Awesome.

• The Brotherhood Lounge, 119 Capitol Way N., Olympia, 360.352.4153

>>> SATURDAY, DEC.31: FIRST NIGHT TACOMA

First Night Tacoma - an annual, all-ages, family-friendly, alcohol-free New Year's Eve celebration - follows the Chinese lunar calendar, and this year is the year of the dragon.  In this spirit there will be two large dragons making an appearance at the festival - a 35-foot creation by Metro Parks Tacoma, and a 14-foot fire-breathing metal beast. "We're really stepping up the fire aspect to mitigate the cold," says co-event director Lance Kagey. First Night buttons - available at many businesses in the Stadium and Theater Districts - will get you into all of the stages and events for the evening (not to mention free admission to Tacoma's museums during the day). At 6:30 p.m. First Night Tacoma officially kicks off in the Theater District with a parade. Throughout the evening, attendees can enjoy music on 12 stages. Bands and performers will include regional acts such as Roman Holiday, Rumbeggae and Vamola.

• Downtown Tacoma- Theater District, 6:30 p.m.-Midnight, Buttons $10 before Saturday, Dec. 31, $14 day of, Kids 10 and younger free, firstnighttacoma.org

>>> SATURDAY, DEC. 31: POSSCA NEW YEAR'S EVE MASQUERADE BENEFIT

Billed as, "a high-octane shake-your-booty event," Saturday's Patrons of South Sound Cultural Arts New Year's Eve Masquerade benefit is sure to be an awesome way to bring in 2012, promising 2011's Best of Olympia "Best Band" The Brown Edition, in addition to party favors, hors d' oeuvres and enough funk to make your trunk jump. Best of all: It's all ages. Even better: There's a beer garden for those over 21. You can't go wrong.

• The Eagles Grand Ballroom, 805 Fourth Ave., Olympia, possca.org
  

>>> SATURDAY, DEC.31: NEW YEAR'S EVE WITH ROCK-BOT AND BURGERS

Chances are you'll celebrate New Year's Eve one way or another. Either you have magnificent plans, or maybe you don't. But when the time comes you'll be looking for something ... anything ... to do on the big night. Sitting at home in your depressing apartment on New Year's Eve is the very definition of sad and lonely. This being the case, consider Varsity Grill's New Year's Eve celebration, offering an all-ages chance to karaoke your ass off with the live "Rock-Bot" backing band, not to mention bring in the New Year in style. Oh, and did we mention Varsity Grill is giving away a very meaty prize - a burger a day for all of 2012? Only a silly vegan could pass up such an awesome opportunity.

• The Varsity Grill, 1114 Broadway, Tacoma, 253.627.1229

>>> SATURDAY, DEC. 31: NEW YEAR'S EVE WITH PERRY ACKER

Local band Perry Acker has had a big year. They took home top honors at the Ford-sponsored "Give Me The Gig" national battle of the bands contest, they releaed a new record, Path To Freedom, and on Saturday they'll bring in the New Year with a much-anticipated show at Jazzbones. Ben Union is also on the bill, as is an unplugged performance from local favorites Doxology. 

• Jazzbones, 9 p.m., $15-$30, 2803 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.396.9169

>>> SUNDAY,JAN. 1: POLAR BEAR PLUNGE

Here at the Weekly Volcano we take our showers warm. We're kind of wimps. But there are plenty of tough, adventurous, rosy-cheeked folks out there who live on the edge, no doubt partaking in activities like Sunday's Polar Bear Plunge at Point Defiance Marina. According to hype, Sunday's New Year's Day cold-water fiasco presents a chance to get 2012 off on the right foot. As the press release says, "The New Year offers opportunities to set new goals and try new things, so get your bucket list out and come take the Plunge with other jubilant merrymakers at the Point Defiance Marina." The all-ages Polar Bear plunge will go down rain or shine, starting at 11:30 a.m.

• Point Defiance Marina, Polar Bear Plunge, Sunday, Jan. 1, 11:30 a.m., free, 5912 N. Waterfront Dr., Point Defiance Park, Tacoma, 253.591.5325

>>> WHAT SOME OF OUR STAFF MEMBERS ARE UP TO

STEVE DUNKELBERGER Meat Market Photographer
Watching season three of Sons of Anarchy that I missed, so it is sort of like watching Resevior  Dogs since all the episodes now seem like flash backs.

CHRISTIAN CARVAJAL Theater Critic
It's New Year's Eve, my favorite holiday of the year! We'll be at Swing Wine Bar to catch the musical stylings of Skuff and Al. Then, if other celebrants ask us to make out with them, well...let's just say we haven't resolved not to do that.

JENNIFER JOHNSON Food & Lifestyles Writer
Making 30 batches of cookies with family in Utah. Recipe swap with six aunties. Gathering on New Year's Day with five generations of family to honor our matriarch.

JOANN VARNELL Theater Critic
For the last two weeks I've worked REALLY hard to build up my ability to stay up past 10 pm (aka watching Mad Men season 1 and 2). On New Year's Eve I will put my training to the test at First Night where I will watch the fire breathing dragon, and Drew Grow and the Pastors Wives while trying to keep my toddler asleep. Sunday I will nap when my son does. First, though, I will clean my house for the last time this year!

ALEC CLAYTON Visual Arts Critic/Writer
Water volleyball with the over the hill gang and the SAGE Olympia brunch at the Urban Onion Sunday.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

THE LOWDOWN ON WHAT'S UP THIS WEEKEND >>>

WEATHER REPORT

Friday: Mostly cloudy, hi 44, lo 38

Saturday: Rain, hi 50, lo 43

Sunday: Rain, hi 50, lo 36

>>> FRIDAY, NOV. 25-MONDAY, JAN. 2: FRANCISCAN POLAR PLAZA

How do you escape the pressures of the holidays, like, really quickly? Bundle up, drop your packages in the trunk, pinch your cheeks until they glow and strap on a pair of silver skates, Hans Brinker, for a glide across the frozen expanse at Tollefson Plaza. The Franciscan Polar Plaza, located on the corner of Pacific Avenue and South 17th Street. The covered outdoor rink is about half the size of a hockey rink. It will have real ice and hold about 150 skaters at a time. Oh, if you need a tree, grab one at the neighboring Two Five Trees.

• Tollefson Plaza, opening day Nov. 25 10 a.m. to 10 p.m., through Jan. 2, 4-10 p.m. Monday-Friday, 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. Saturday, 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. Sunday, $8, $1 off active duty military and family, $2 skate rental, Pacific Avenue and South 17th Street, Tacoma, website]

>>> FRIDAY, NOV. 25: ZOOLIGHTS

You're sick and tired of driving through the neighborhood looking at the homes of people who think they deserve an award for their light displays. You deserve to take a night to go see ZooLights. Billed as the region's biggest walk-through light show, ZooLights includes animated light sculptures, live entertainment, snacks, animal encounters, and the Paul Titus Carousel. While enjoying your stroll with a cup of hot chocolate, be thankful you're not in charge of this holiday light display.

• Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium, through Jan. 1, 5-9 p.m., $7-$8.25, 5400 N. Pearl St., Tacoma, 253.591.5337  

>>> FRIDAY, NOV. 25: LELAVISION

Remember when you used to dress your dolls up and make them act out scenes from Footloose? There they were all lined up on the bed, and G.I. Joe with the Kung Fu grip was causing trouble and Barbie was fighting with Cabbage Patch while their passive-aggressive little stuffed animal children hid their eyes. Yep, you've always been strange. But the point of this is you're still a fan of physical agility and humor. Seattle's Lelavision - the troupe that combines Cirque de Soleil and Stomp, and then adds its own unique vision for a humorous, musical, theatrical and dance performance unlike any other - returns to the Museum of Glass. Catch their "Physical Music" with a Cabbage Patch in your pocket. Freak.

• Museum of Glass, 1 and 3 p.m., $5-$12, 1801 Dock St., Tacoma, 253.396.1768]

>>> SATURDAY, NOV. 26: CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG

You love the film Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, right? You dressed as the Child Catcher a few years ago for Halloween. Remember? The waitress at Knapp's used to have nightmares about the Child Catcher when she was a kid, and when she saw you in the costume - she freaked. Anyway, you loved Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, and you saw it once a year. That was it. Once a year. Nowadays if you like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, you buy the DVD, you have it. But not on the big screen. That is, until Saturday. The Broadway Center will screen the flick for you to enjoy. Afterward, the Ghost of Christmas Present will hover as the lights on the Christmas tree outside the Pantages flick on. There will be much rejoicing over hot cocoa and cider, too.

• Pantages Theater, 2 p.m. film, 4:30 p.m. holiday stuff, 6 p.m. tree lighting, $14 film, 901 Broadway, Tacoma, 253.591.5894]

>>> SATURDAY, NOV. 26: GRITTY CITY CRAFT FAIR

If you are looking for a more soulful, local shopping experience after Thanksgiving, may we suggest the Gritty City Gift Fair in downtown Tacoma. Jada-Moon Gridley has created an environment void of frantic zombified credit-carded bodies fighting over pallets of heavily-discounted Vitamix 5200 Ultramax Packages. With community in mind, and live music to soothe, Gridley has hand picked local vendors offering treasures made from green and reclaimed materials, as well as artisan consumables.

• 906 Broadway, Saturday, Nov. 26, 3-9 p.m., free admission, Tacoma, Facebook]

>>> WHAT SOME OF OUR STAFF MEMBERS ARE UP TO 

ALEC CLAYTON Visual Arts Critic
No shopping on Black Friday, but I'll top off the day by going to see Harlequin Productions' Stardust Serenade. Saturday I'm going to check out Lisa Kinoshita's show at Fulcrum.

NIKKI TALOTTA Features Writer
Turkey for the girls and Turkey for the boys / My favorite kind of pants
Are corduroys / Gobble gobble goo and Gobble gobble gickel / I wish turkey
Only cost a nickel / Oh I love turkey on Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving everybody! 

JOANN VARNELL: Theater Critic
After stuffing myself silly and counting all the ways I'm thankful, I
will be attending a bridge lighting in Sumner on Friday, the Broadway
Center tree lighting on Saturday, Peter Pan at Tacoma Musical
Playhouse on Saturday night and HOPEFULLY nothing on Sunday. 

STEVE DUNKELBERGER Meat Market Photographer
Going to Peter Pan at Tacoma Musical Playhouse and Oliver at Lakewood Playhouse. In between, I'll be hitting Netflix like it owes me money.

REV. ADAM MCKINNEY Music Critic
As a matter of fact, I have pretty big plans this weekend, and they all revolve around Friday and Saturday at The New Frontier Lounge. Those days are dedicated to the first fundraisers for the 3rd "Annual" Squeak and Squawk Music Festival, and they feature such ginormous acts as Derek Kelley and the Speedwobbles, I Will Keep Your Ghost, and the return of Paris Spleen, among other great acts. Please come down and show your support, get drunk and dance, and help make Squeak and Squawk the awesome festival we know it'll be.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: The weekend's freebies

THE LOWDOWN ON WHAT'S UP THIS WEEKEND >>>

WEATHER REPORT

Friday: Cloudy, hi 70, lo 53

Saturday: Chance of rain, hi 63, lo 48

Sunday: Cloudy, hi 61, lo 52

>>> FRIDAY, SEPT. 30: THERESE AMBROSI SMITH READ FROM WAX

Olympia's Orca Books welcomes novelist Therese Ambrosi Smith, who will read from her debut novel, Wax. According to promotion, Wax is a "story of strong female friendship, sexual discovery, and long-held secrets," set in the 1940s, a time period that offers WWII as a background. Described as fiction inspired by the real lives of the era's many Rosie the Riveters, themes of civil rights and feminism will no doubt be tackled.

• Orca Books, 6 p.m., free, 509 Fourth Ave. E., Olympia, 360.352.0123

>>> SATURDAY, OCT. 1: 24-HOUR COMICS DAY

Saturday members of the CLAW (Cartoonists' League of Absurdist Washingtonians) will gather at Comic Book Ink to celebrate 24 Hour Comics Day, challenging themselves once again to complete a 24 page comic in only 24 hours. This isn't the first time it's happened. In fact, 24 Hour Comics Days, and similar complete-a-comic-in-24-hours competitions, go down all over the country, all over the world, and perhaps even all over the universe. Comic Book Ink has hosted 24 Hour Comics Day two years running, with this year's madness marking the third rendition. The event benefits CLAW's scholarship fund, raising money to help students with a passion for cartooning pay for things like tuition, books or art supplies. Local cartoonists RR Anderson is said to be planning a Wyatt James Boy Detective entry. Consider yourself warned.

• Comic Book Ink, 10 a.m. start, 2510 S. 84^th St., Lakewood, 253.761.4651

>>> SATURDAY, OCT. 1: DOWNTOWN OLYMPIA CLEANUP

Just like your apartment, downtown Olympia gets messy after a while - in need of some sprucing up. That's one of the reasons why the Olympia Downtown Association and the Downtown Clean Up Committee put together two Downtown Clean Ups every year, each of them a week before the Spring and Fall Olympia Arts Walk events. And with Olympia's Fall Arts Walk just around the corner, this weekend marks the fall version of the Downtown Cleanup. Saturday volunteers will weed, sweep, rake, prune and paint downtown all for the good and beautification of the community. To volunteer or learn more check here or email odaevent@tss.net

• Downtown Olympia, 8:30 a.m. - noon, downtownolympia.com]

>>> SATURDAY, OCT. 1: Oktoberfest Tacoma

The Weekly Volcano would travel to the ends of the earth for a savory helping of local craft brews and soft pretzels. We've proven it before. But thankfully, on Saturday we only need to go as far as Tacoma's Opera Alley. Presented by the Triangle Business District, Amocat Café and The Mix, Oktoberfest Tacoma will feature local craft beer, pretzels, a pie-eating contest, chainsaw pumpkin carving and more from 2-10 p.m.

• Opera Alley, 2-10 p.m., $12-$18 includes five tastings, Seventh and Opera Alley, downtown Tacoma, oktoberfesttacoma.com

>>> SATURDAY, OCT. 1: Fall Harvest Farm Tour

A bevy of local Pierce County farms will take part in a joint vision brought to you by the WSU Extension, Pierce County Conservation District and Cascade Harvest Coalition: the HarvestFest 2011 Farm Tour. Expect farm tours (naturally), chef demos, wine tasting, hayrides, corn mazes and all the like - in addition to plenty of learning. From 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., experience local farms from the Puyallup Valley to Orting and beyond, including Picha Farms and Terry's Berries in P-Town, Sholz Farm and Tahoma Farms in Orting, and Blue Willow Lavender Farm on the Key Peninsula. For more info visit county.wsu.edu/king/agriculture/harvestcelebration.

>>> SUNDAY, OCT. 2: Pierce County Hunger Walk

The motto of the annual Pierce County Hunger Walk is, "Fighting hunger, one step at a time." It's a little cheese-ball, but it's also totally appropriate. According to promotional hype, last year, "more than 1,800 feet (900 or so people, we presume) ran, walked, shuffled and pedaled around Waughop Lake at Fort Steilacoom Park in Lakewood," all raising money to fight hunger in Pierce County and beyond. This year's goal is to raise $350,000, with half of the proceeds from Hunger Walk will benefit the Emergency Food and the other half going to international hunger relief agencies designated by each walker, including FISH Food Banks, St. Leo's Food Connection and several other food banks in the area.

• Fort Steilacoom Park, noon to 4 p.m., amhungerwalk.org  

>>> SUNDAY, OCT. 2: SEATTLE MANDOLIN ORCHESTRA

If you have yet to fully experience the musical majesty of the mandolin, Sunday offers perhaps the perfect opportunity to do just that, as the Tacoma Main Library welcomes the Seattle Mandolin Orchestra performing "The Italian Concert." Dedicated to, "revitalizing the mandolin ensemble and expanding its repertoire through commissions and arrangements," according to promotional hype, and led by Artistic Director and Conductor Joseph White, the Seattle Mandolin Orchestra features the entire mandolin family of instruments, even the mandocello and mandobass. Best of all Sunday's concert is free.

• Tacoma Main Library, 2 p.m., free, 1102 Tacoma Ave. S, Tacoma, 253.591.5666  

>>> WHERE OUR STAFF IS GOING

ALEC CLAYTON Visual Arts Critic
I'm going to see "The Love List" at Harlequin and think about Picasso's last years.

.

BRETT CIHON Meat Market Correspondent/Features Writer
I'm headed to the Tempest Lounge in Tacoma for a shot of Meat Market. It will be nice to drink "spirits" instead of the normal "wells."

NIKKI TALOTTA Features Writer
I've got kid's soccer games and Oyster Fest, a birthday party and little rest. Hopefully a date on Saturday night, and if I get lucky, I'll be feeling alright. These will be my weekends for the next 15 years, it's no wonder I like to drink so many beers. Cheers!

CHRISTIAN CARVAJAL: Theater Critic
As per usual, all the theater troupes in Olympia opened their shows the same weekend, so I'm seeing Always...Patsy Cline at Capital Playhouse, The Love List at Harlequin, and Bunnicula at Olympia Family Theater.

JOANN VARNELL: Theater Critic
Saturday will be packed as I leave the little son with the husband and head to a baby shower. Saturday evening I will leave the little son with a babysitter and the husband and I are heading to Seattle to a German pub for a friend's birthday party. We'll be home early enough on Saturday to make it to church on Sunday.

STEVE DUNKELBERGER Meat Market Photographer
Kiddie time with his new bike and maybe a trip to the zoo. Fabulously boring daddy stuff.

.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

THE LOWDOWN ON WHAT'S UP THIS WEEKEND >>>

WEATHER REPORT

Friday: Partly sunny, hi 79, lo 58

Saturday: Partly sunny, hi 78, lo 57

Sunday: Showers possible, hi 63, lo 54

>>> FRIDAY, SEPT. 23: TRIPOD FOCUS ON TACOMA

Friday, the Madera Architectural Elements Showroom presents the newest installment of the monthly Tripod Slide Shows series, welcoming local photographers Kevin Frietas (yes, he of feedtacoma.com), Sharon Styer and chip Van Gilder's presentation of Tacoma, a digital slideshow featuring works that capture Grit City. Now in its seventh month, the Tripod series at Madera is structured to let three photographers show 15 minutes of slides under one unifying theme. This one-time event should be awesome.

• Madera Architectural Elements Showroom, 7 - 8:30 p.m., $5 donation at the door, 2210 Court A, Tacoma

>>> SEPT. 23-24: WHAT YOU GOT FEST

The What You Got Fest offers films, bands, skateboard ramps, free workshops, a chance to watch a mural being painted outside the Capitol Theater - and zombies. The ghoulish creatures are a pop-culture trend with staying power, and they'll be modeling in the Olympia youth art festival's trash fashion show. "In the trash world, zombies represent stuff that doesn't really go away," said Ruby Re-Usable, who helped youth organizers with a workshop on and materials for creating trash fashion. "Plastic bags get ratty, and they might break up into little pieces, but regular plastic bags do not decompose. They're like the undead." With music by DJ Selector Dub Narcotic (aka Calvin Johnson), the fashion show (6 p.m. Saturday, Sept. 24) looks like a highlight of this year's festival. To read Molly Gilmore's full feature on this weekend's What You Got Festival in Olympia, click here.

• Capitol Theater, $5 per day, $8 for both, free for workshops and outdoor activities, 206 Fifth Ave. S.E., Olympia, 360.754.6670, olympiafilmsociety.org

>>> SATURDAY, SEPT. 24: K-Pop Contest for Non-Koreans

Love Korean pop music? Not Korean? Well then, you may already know about Saturday's second annual "K-Pop Contest for Non-Koreans." We felt the need to put that in quotations just so you know it's the actual name, not just a somewhat questionable (yet wholly accurate) description that we came up with. Produced by Radio Hankook, the contest is open to all Non-Korean U.S. residents, age 12 years and older, and is patterned after an event originally held last year at the Knutzen Family Theatre in Federal Way. Basically, non-Koreans take the stage and bust out Korean pop songs, in competition, for the delight of all in attendance. According to hype the contest was "originally created to bring together the many different ethnic communities of Puget Sound," becoming, "a meeting place for people who share one common interest; their love for Korean Pop Music and the Korean culture."

• Pantages Theater, 6 p.m., $10-$20, 901 Broadway, Tacoma, 253.591.5894 

>>> SUNDAY, SEPT. 25: JAZZ JAM SESSION

The thing about Tacoma's Jazzbones is it rarely hosts jazz. You'd assume by the club's name that it was all jazz, all the time; but in truth history has seen more DJ nights, KRY shows, foam partiers and co-ed Jager-bomb orgies than nights of actual jazz. The good news is, at least for jazz aficionados, Sundays at Jazzbones have now been claimed by the genre that loaned the club its name, because Kareem Kandi is now hosting a weekly jazz jam session sure to cap the week of in style. The jazz jam is all ages and has no cover, so bring the kids out with you.

• Jazzbones, 7:30 p.m., all ages, NC, 2803 Sixth Ave., Tacoma

>>> SUNDAY, SEPT. 25: NEVER SHOUT NEVER

Look, we're old and jaded here at the Volcano. When we hear a band like Never Shout Never we can't help but scoff, squirm, and throw up a little in our mouths. We're assholes like that ... old and jaded, like we mentioned. We're, basically, the exact opposite of a youthful, hopeful, innocent, teenage girl - the kind of demographic we assume makes up the bulk of Never Shout Never's fanbase. The kind of person who doesn't look at contemporary mainstream pop music (and, to be honest, contemporary American culture as a whole) as instantly start groveling about how we're all headed to hell in a hand basket. If this sounds like you, check out Never Shout Never, The Maine, A Rocket to the Moon and The Downtown Fiction Sunday at the Puyallup Fair, closing down this year's Fair Concert Series.

• Puyallup Fair, 4 p.m., $30, 110 Ninth Ave. SW, Puyallup  

>>> WHERE OUR STAFF IS GOING

REV. ADAM MCKINNEY Music/Film Critic
Saturday, I'm going to try and hit up both the Campfire OK show at The Space, and the Night Beats at the New Frontier. Monday night at Magoo's, I'll be doing a guest DJ set with DJ Melodica for Micro Mondays.

ALEC CLAYTON Visual Arts Critic
I'll be seeing Lord Franzannian's Royal Olympian Spectacular Vaudeville Show Friday night at the Midnight Sun in Oly and Something Wicked This Way Comes at Lakewood Playhouse Saturday night. Sunday I plan to zone out on the couch in front of the TV if I'm awake at all.

JENNIFER JOHNSON Food and Lifestyles Writer
Hitting the town in Olympia Friday night, volunteer work Saturday morning, church dinner followed by Marguerite's b-day at the Mix. Church and rest on Sunday.

BRETT CIHON Meat Market Correspondent/Features Writer
Is this the last weekend of summer? Is that an official thing? If this is the last weekend of the summer, than I'll be dancing in the sun. If it's already technically fall, I plan to spend the weekend dwelling. I ain't ready for winter yet. 

NIKKI TALOTTA Features Writer
Aah, the weekend ... Thursday I'm going to Blue Scholars, baby. Friday is Lord Franzannian's Royal Olympian Spectacular Vaudeville Show, and Saturday is girl's night out! Sunday is reserved for recovering from aforementioned activities.

CHRISTIAN CARVAJAL: Theater Critic
I have a dinner engagement on Friday and a play reading on Saturday. That's it, really. Wow. It's thrilling how boring I am at the moment.

JOE IZENMAN: Theater/Music Critic
Saturday Deborah Page is packing up and trucking down to Rainier, Wash. for the End of Summer MS Benefit at the Hidden River Music Society. And the fruits of Sunday you will no doubt read next Thursday, as I view and review Something Wicked This Way Comes at Lakewood Playhouse.

JOANN VARNELL: Theater Critic
This weekend I will be home with the little son while my better half gets to play recording engineer, attend a swanky fundraiser and go to a Master's class. I clearly have the better deal.

STEVE DUNKELBERGER Meat Market Photographer
The boy child turns five .... Shhhhh he is getting a bike.

.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

THE LOWDOWN ON WHAT'S UP THIS WEEKEND >>>

WEATHER REPORT

Friday: Sunny to partly cloudy, hi 64, lo 44

Saturday: A couple of showers possible, hi 64, lo 51

Sunday: A couple of showers possible, hi 65, lo 52

>>> THURSDAY, SEPT. 15: PRINCESS BRIDE OUTDOORS

If there is one thing that binds people together in this tumultuous world, it's that everyone who has ever seen The Princess Bride has loved it. I'm sure you can dig up some nihilist psycho to disagree, or a three-toothed Andy Dick cousin who "plum don't get it." Nonetheless, you love it and are stoked Go Local, The Grand Cinema and Click! Network will screen the classic on a giant screen in the middle of Tollefson Plaza. And if you stand up suddenly in the Plaza and announce, "My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die," with an exaggerated Castilian accent, they will not ask you to leave.

• Tollefson Plaza, dusk, free, 17th and Pacific Avenue, downtown Tacoma

>>> FRIDAY, SEPT. 16: (PARK)ING DAY

The Weekly Volcano will transform a street-level parking space along Pacific Avenue in Tacoma's Museum District into a mini Woodstock festival. Titled PARK(stock), our hippie happening is part of national PARK(ing) Day, the annual global event where citizens, artists and activists collaborate to temporarily transform metered parking spaces into "PARK(ing)" spaces: temporary public places. Drop by our park Friday with your tambourine, you dig?

• Downtown Tacoma, 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., free, 19th Street and Pacific Avenue

>>> SATURDAY, SEPT. 17: 2ND ANNUAL TACOMA THROWDOWN

The staff at the Weekly Volcano has a very strict exercise regime.  Find an old, beaten-up chair. Slouch in it for several hours. At around 3 p.m., begin to get stressed out about the 5 p.m. press deadline. Walk - slowly - to the honor candy box, and steal something bad for us. Complain a bit, then go back to slouching. Climbers might follow a different exercise regime. A bunch of climbers will descend upon the Vertical World Climbing Gym Saturday to compete in several categories, including beginners, for cash prizes. The public is encouraged to watch them climb walls. We'll be there ... with our beaten-up chairs.

• Vertical World Climbing Gym, 9 a.m., 102 S. 24th St., Tacoma, 253.683.4791 

>>> SATURDAY, SEPT. 17: TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY

The staff at the Weekly Volcano has a very strict exercise regime.  Find an old, beaten-up chair. Slouch in it for several hours. At around 3 p.m., begin to get stressed out about the 5 p.m. press deadline. Walk - slowly - to the honor candy box, and steal something bad for us. Complain a bit, then go back to slouching. Climbers might follow a different exercise regime. A bunch of climbers will descend upon the Vertical World Climbing Gym Saturday to compete in several categories, including beginners, for cash prizes. The public is encouraged to watch them climb walls. We'll be there ... with our beaten-up chairs.

• Foss Waterway Seaport, noon to 5 p.m., 705 Dock St., Tacoma, 253.272.2750 

>>> SUNDAY, SEPT. 18: INTERNATIONAL DAY OF PEACE EVENT

Bad-mouth peace? Who could? There is no solid argument against it. In our heart of hearts, we all want to work together, coexist quietly and get on with what's really important in life. And even in a world as cynical as this one we live in, peace is something worth working for. That's the fundamental base for Sunday's International Day of Peace Event in Olympia. Singing bowls, music, kite making, meditative walk around Capitol Lake, and more for individuals and families - all in the name of peace.

• Heritage Park, 2-5 p.m., free, Fifth and Water Street, Olympia, 360.701.5980 

>>> WHERE OUR STAFF IS GOING

REV. ADAM MCKINNEY Music/Film Critic
Friday, I'll be checking out The New Frontier, featuring a rare performance from John Walker (of the defunct Hitchhikers). Saturday, I'll be at Dorky's nerdtastic anniversary show.

ALEC CLAYTON Visual Arts Critic
It's going to be an awesome weekend indeed. Dinner with good friends Saturday night. Sunday night will be the first workshop of my play, The Backside of Nowhere, directed by the awesome Elliot Wiener with actors Scott C. Brown (the great homeless guy in A Perfect Life), Jennie Jenks, Jenifer Rifenberry, Alex Smith, Syra Beth Puett and Mark Peterson.

JENNIFER JOHNSON Food and Lifestyles Writer
I'm at the North Tacoma yard sale this weekend. Come buy some most awesome stuff: 45s of local bands from the '90s, never released demos, art. Contact me here.

BRETT CIHON Meat Market Correspondent/Features Writer
I'm checking out the all-new Big Whisky Saloon in Olympia on Friday
night. It's the grand opening, so I'm sure to be in for a yee-hawing
ruckus of a good time.

NIKKI TALOTTA Features Writer
This weekend is the first rainy weekend in quite some time, therefore granting me the pass to be lazy, drunk and boring. Of course, I will still be an attentive parent, and I will still sling drinks with glory and vigor, just all the while knowing that bed covers, long books, and glasses of wine are really where it's at.

STEVE DUNKELBERGER Meat Market Photographer
Frankly, I have no idea what we will be doing other than geocaching around Fort Steilacoom or Chambers Bay. Maybe I'll head over to the Fair for a nose-to-nose discussion with a pig. Maybe I won't.

CHRISTIAN CARVAJAL: Theater Critic
This is a big weekend for Amanda and I, because we're celebrating our wedding! - three months after the fact, sure, but awesome all the same. And then we're going to the Sci Fi Musuem, Pike Place Market, and Dorky's Arcade! Plus there'll be ice cream.

JOE IZENMAN: Theater/Music Critic
Jam. So much jam. Farmers market junkies that we are, the wife and I have been stockpiling berries all season, and now the time has come to make ALL THE JAM. After going to the Proctor Farmers Market, of course. As long as it's all done in time to watch the Seahawks dominate the Steelers on NFL Sunday. So ... 2014 sometime?

JOANN VARNELL: Theater Critic
Saturday night, my husband and I will be helping a friend write a song. (Don't snicker; we're actually quite qualified.) Possibly, we'll take our little son to the Puyallup Fair to check out all the animals in the petting zoo. Other than that, not much is planned. We are that awesome.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound 

LINK: Happy hours!