BRING ON THE WEEKEND >>>

You're not going to believe this! It's crazy! So, like, you're reading The Prefunk, right - a weekly primer for the weekend designed for you and your liver - but I'm not even in the office today. NOT EVEN CLOSE! (Well, kind of close, but I meant mentally.) I took the day off. I'm at home resting and recuperating. But you're still reading this! It's like magic, only it's not really that close to magic. It's, like, technology, or something. Basically, I wrote this on Thursday and it didn't post until Friday. It's fucking crazy. What kind of magic is that?

The bottom line: Even in vacation, I can't forget my Prefunk obligation to you.

Because I care.

So here we go ...

Frost/Nixon at the Tacoma Little Theatre

7:30 p.m. Friday-Saturday, 2 p.m. Sunday

Look, not to toot my own horn or anything, but I hire freakin' talented people. Not only can Christian Carvajal write (his trip back to high school and his atheism story are personal favorites), but the man can also crush small beings with only a hunched stare of disapproval. There are chunks of hopeful but ultimately untalented theater types in his stool. It's vicious, and at times unsettling - but you can't deny the man's talents. Even more impressive, despite his skills, Carvajal actually takes zero satisfaction in panning a play - the duty pains him, but he soldiers on. I hear he can also cook.

But, most importantly to this Prefunk, he can act.

Carvajal is currently cast as Bob Zelnick in Tacoma Little Theatre's Frost/Nixon. And, no asshole, that's not the Kevin Bacon role. It's the fucking Oliver Platt role. Who? Oliver Platt! You've never fucking heard of Oliver Platt? Jesus. Never mind ...

Frost/Nixon opened Thursday, Jan. 13 at Tacoma Little Theatre, and by this weekend any kinks should be sufficiently worked out. It's a play worth seeing, and Carvajal has invited all of Tacoma to dissect his work.

PREFUNK: In preparation for your trip to Tacoma Little Theatre for Frost/Nixon, I suggest beefing up on your appreciation for our 37^th President.

Start here ...

BRING ON THE WEEKEND >>>

OK, so, technically it's a day off at Weekly Volcano World Headquarters. Technically, employees of this fine rag are supposed to be resting and relaxing with family and friends, taking some time for themselves and bringing in the New Year without the pressure of work.

But do you think that's going to stop the Prefunk from doing what it does best - providing a primer for you and your liver for the coming weekend (with a picture of an alcoholic household pet thrown in for good measure)?

Fat chance.

Supernova Holiday Party with C.F.A., 12 Gauge Saint and Blood Hunger

Saturday, Jan. 1

Here's a quick list of things that are awesome:

Free shows

All ages shows

Holiday parties on Jan. 1

Cody Foster

Supernova

Steve Pool's hair

Now, admittedly, one of the above items has nothing to do with Saturday's free, all-ages holiday show with C.F.A., 12 Gauge Saint and Bloodhunger at Supernova Hair and Tattoo (817 Division, Tacoma) - but it really doesn't matter. It's a fine list of awesomeness, and Saturday's show at Supernova (starting at 10 p.m.) will be a fine display of awesomeness. Not quite ready to give up on the holidays yet? Want one more raging night of T-town metal to fill your stocking (wait, what?)? This show is just your ticket.

PREFUNK: In the day leading up to Saturday night's show, try a burger from the Burger Bar, an Americano from Satellite, some bit of novelty sparkly goodness from Tricky's Pop Culture Emporium, and ... wait. Crap. It's New Year's. Many of those places will probably be closed.

A good Plan B would be to simply spend the day sleeping off the hangover on the couch before finally rustling to activity about 7:30 p.m. to find some food for your belly and a (relatively) clean 3 Inches of Blood t-shirt from your floor to head out in.

BRING ON THE WEEKEND >>>

Look, it's crappy outside. I get it. I smoke. I've been out there a few times today, and it isn't inviting. I'm honestly pretty sure it never got light, and there are times when the eternal precipitation and darkness can get a person down.

Don't be that person! At least not until Monday. Right now, it's Friday for gawd's sake- which means two very important things. Number one: You've probably got two days off ahead of you. Number two: It's time for your regular installment of The Prefunk, a weekly weekend primer for you and your liver - with a picture of an alcoholic household pet thrown in for good measure.

ALL FREAKIN' NIGHT at The Capitol Theater

Saturday, midnight - 7:30 a.m.

Olympia has more traditions than most places. It's the kind of town where history is important. It's the kind of place where people keep things alive, breathe new life into them, and rally together to make cool shit happen. It's the kind of place where people go to college, grow a beard, graduate from college, get a co-op membership, go back to college, and never leave ...

While it's doubtful that last part has much to do with anything, the Olympia institution that is All Freakin' Night is here once again - devouring the historic (there Olympia goes again with its history...) Capitol Theater Saturday night and into Sunday morning.

For the uninitiated, or the new faces in the Invisible Man seminar, All Freakin' Night is an annual part of the annual Olympia Film Festival - now in its glorious 27^th year. A collection of cultish horror flicks and just plain strange stuff, All Freakin' Night has reached institution status because of a few things - not the least of which being its eccentricities, and the fact it literally offers Olympia the chance to sit in the Capitol Theater all freakin' night and hang out. Both are very cool, and what it's all about.

This year's strange cinematic offerings include 1983's Treasure of the Four Crowns, a story featuring, "renegade history professor and archaeological mercenary J.T. Striker," as well as 1982's Superstition, 1993's Freaked, 1988's Dead Heat, and 1983's The Being, a movie about an evil creature lurking in a local dump and attacking residents.

PREFUNK: It's a long night. Hell, it's All Freakin' Night. That's all I'm saying. You're going to need your energy ...

Luckily, we're here for you.

BRING ON THE WEEKEND >>>

Last week I was on vacation. There was no Prefunk.  Your weekend still happened, of course, and I assume you still figured out a way to occupy yourself. But, you didn't start things off with tasteless whip-it jokes from the Weekly Volcano, and there was no picture of an alcoholic household pet thrown in for good measure to set you on your way.

Was this a good thing or a bad thing? It's up to you to decide.

Whatever conclusion you reach, however, can't stop the inevitable. Here comes another installment of The Prefunk, a weekend primer for you and your liver. Turn away or stare in horror. The choice is yours.

THE B.B.C. BOTS PRESENT: THE PHOENIX

Friday & Saturday at Beyond the Bridge Café

Choosing events to highlight for the Prefunk isn't as easy as it might seem. For one, I'm forced to wade through hundreds of shindigs happening over any given weekend. There are more than you might think.

This week, for instance, before settling on what should be a spectacle to remember at Sixth Avenue's newest coffee hotspot, Beyond the Bridge Café, I considered the Washington History Museum's "The Many Shapes of Chess" exhibit, the White River Valley Museum's "Politics and Bedcovers" display, and even "Patriot Days" in Lake Havasu City, Arizona (yes, for some reason Lake Havasu's "Patriot Days" were submitted to the Volcano's online events calendar).

These are decisions no one should be forced to make.

Luckily, Beyond the Bridge Café went and made it easy on me - with their Bots and their performance of "The Phoenix." Aided by the always-worthy Vicci Martinez and her typical barefooted musical styling, the B.B.C. Bots, something of a genre defying performance group, will mix movement and music with "The Phoenix," pushing the artistic envelope all the while. "The Phoenix" will be performed by the B.B.C. Bots tonight and tomorrow, from 8-10 p.m. Tickets are $15 and available through brownpapertickets.com.

Here's a taste of what to look forward to, gleaned straight from the source, beyondthebridgecafe.com:

The BBC Bots present The Phoenix, with live entertainment by Vicci Martinez! Come and enjoy an evening of performance by Bastian Rogue, Nadia Dawn, Vylla Vortex, Darkly Riot and Skyler Ties... Beyond the Bridge Cafe's very own Bots! This night will be full of life changing movement and music put together in ways unimaginable. Enjoy the show!

PREFUNK: OK, whatever. Usually - as is suggested in the column's name - I suggest ways for you to prime yourself BEFORE the highlighted event. This week it's going to run a little differently.

You see, your best bet is to use Saturday's performance of "The Phoenix" at Beyond the Bridge Café on Sixth Avenue as a Prefunk for the show later that night at Jazzbones, which features Matt Coughlin and the Growlers. Coming of what I hear from reliable sources was a truly amazing CD release show at The Swiss Wednesday night, Matt Coughlin and the Growlers will provide an excellent way to round out an evening kicked off by the B.B.C. Bots and the sounds of Vicci Martinez. Mark my words.

See you next week.

BRING ON THE WEEKEND >>>

Well, O. M. G.  The workweek is drawing to a close, and not only is the weekend upon us - but it's of the THREE-DAY variety! That's cooler than the other side of the pillow, as they say; the bee's knees (so to speak). It's groovy, bodacious, spectacular, and downright neat.

Without further ado, here's this week's installment of The Prefunk - a weekend event primer for you and your liver (with a complimentary picture of an alcoholic household pet thrown in for good measure).

Rock n' Glow

Fridays and Saturdays at Chalet Bowl

I don't exactly recall when bowling got tired, got lame, got boring - but it must have. The kids must have been choosing video games, Facebook and text messages over an 11-pound ball and a stale pair of shoes, and someone at the top of bowling's corporate ladder must have decided some re-branding was in order.

How else do you explain the Rock n' Glow bowling movement? At bowling alleys all over the country Friday and Saturday nights are now spicing it up to draw in the younger crowd.

True, it's not always called Rock n' Glow - that's just what Tacoma's Chalet Bowl calls it every Friday and Saturday night - but the features are usually the same. The lights are turned off. A black light is cued. Jams are pumped. And good times are had by all.

Chalet Bowl's Rock n' Glow nights are particularly cool, seeing as Proctor's bowling gem is one of the quaintest bowling alleys you'll find anywhere, and you don't have to travel to the 'burbs to take part - just North Tacoma. In fact, Rock n' Glow is so popular reservations are highly recommended. Also, there's a laser. Just sayin'.

PREFUNK: How should one prime their mind and body for the magic that is Chalet Bowl's Rock n' Glow? That's a tough question to answer, and it no doubt depends on the person in question. That said, free cheese samples from Met Market are never a bad start to any evening. And maybe grab some sparkling water, too. Or a kombucha. You're in the North End, after all. Might as well fit in. 

See you next week.

BRING ON THE WEEKEND >>>

Honestly, it would probably be best to let this week slide - to mysteriously (and probably unnoticed) duck out of my regular Prefunk obligations. The South Sound has already been forced to endure nearly 10,000 words from me this week (most with the expert help of Paul Schrag), and coming of that high of quasi-journalistic indulgence, a quick 500 words on ways you can get fucked up this weekend seems a little uncalled for.

But, shit.  We're almost halfway now there.  Might as well get rolling with another fine installment of The Prefunk, a weekend primer for you and your liver (with a picture of an alcoholic household pet thrown in for good measure).

110th U.S. Amateur Championship

Continues through Saturday and Sunday at Chamber's Bay Golf Course (Ladenburg Links)

So, Tiger Woods got a divorce and - by god! - golf is exciting again.  I don't follow golf religiously (as I think guys that do that are a little out there), but last I heard Tiger was tied for first place at Barclays, hitting the ball "flush" for the first time since, well, lots of broads were hitting his balls flush. (Oh snap!)

Now, don't get me wrong.  Tiger Woods will not be at finale of this week's 110th U.S. Amateur Championship, which has been going on all week at Chambers Bay Golf Course.  He wont be anywhere near it, in fact. Tiger woods hasn't been an amateur since...  Damn!  These jokes work a lot better when the precluding sentence includes the words "balls" and "flush."

Anyway, there will be plenty of uber-talented golfers at Chambers Bay for the culmination of what's been an impressive week of play - even if none of them are named Tiger Woods.  Much like catching the next big band in some small club before they break, you could find yourself watching the NEXT Tiger Woods tee off - young, innocent, not gross, golf yet to have scored them even one BJ. It's golf the way it was intended: pure, unadulterated, and largely unexciting. 

PREFUNK: Did someone say Perkins waitress!?!

Sadly, however, the closest Perkins restaurant is in Ellensburg.

In a pinch, though, I hear a Sharis waitress will do - and there's a Sharis at 3902 Bridgeport Way, W.

What!?! What!?! Just sayin'.

See you next week.

BRING ON THE WEEKEND >>>

It's really pretty amazing to me.  Once every month or so, when I'm sitting in front of my computer on a Friday morning, faced with the task of crafting yet another installment of The Prefunk - a weekend primer for you and your liver - I think to myself: Is this really a good idea? Is this how I should be spending my time?  Is this why I borrowed money for college?

So, I holler across the hall to my boss - the publisher, and master of all things web.

"Boss," I say, "are you sure this is really a good idea?  What do people really think when they read this thing?  I mean, I know you think it's funny.  But do you think people at home think it's funny?  People at work?  People with moral standards?  People with some semblance of decency?"

"They LOVE it!" he shouts back.  "Now get back to work and make some more goddamn jokes about getting blado on Nyquil or I'll take away your bathroom privileges!"

And so I trudge on.

With that, here's this week's Prefunk, with an extra special picture of an alcoholic household pet thrown in for good measure.

A HISTORIC JOURNEY THROUGH SOUTH TACOMA

Saturday, Aug. 14

I gotta be straight with you. I'm a sucker for history.  It's almost laughable.  You should see the way my wife rolls her eyes when I get the remote and head toward the History Channel. I'm not sure what it is, perhaps the overwhelming feeling that things were better, more exciting, more alive, and more real way back when.

Yeah, actually, I'm pretty sure that's it.

Anyway, while this may sound a wee-bit lame to 85 percent of you (The Prefunk has 13 faithful readers, so you can do the math), the Tacoma Historical Society is hosting a free walking tour of South Tacoma Saturday, and it actually sound pretty fucking awesome. As the aforementioned faithful readers can attest to (100 percent of 13), I only put "fucking" in front of "awesome" when I'm serious.

Starting at 10 a.m. at Northwest Motor Scooters at 5428 South Tacoma Way, those interested in taking the free tour (it's FREE, people!) will meet and mingle with Darlyne Reiter, author of THEE book on South Tacoma (OK, so there aren't that many), appropriately titled South Tacoma.  The New York Times has yet to review the book, but that's because they're a bunch of liberal jackasses that wouldn't know literary gold if it was encrusted on their Prince Albert.

Then, at 10:15 a.m. railroad historian Jim Fredrickson will really get the history party pumpin' - dropping mad knowledge on Northern Pacific Railway and the South Tacoma Shops.  While I don't have a penis piercing joke to make in correlation with Fredrickson's portion of the program (say that three times fast), that's not to say it won't be totally boss.

At 11 a.m. architectural Gerald Eysaman will lead a walking tour through South Tacoma's business district.  A multi-tasker, Eysaman will simultaneously talk while walking, and this walking and talking will coalesce into a portion of the event called "The South Tacoma That Was."

Finally, according to reports Bill Habermann will finish things off by leading a tour of "historic" Oakwood Hill Cemetery and Columbarium. You know this is going to be good because, well, it's a history tour and Oakwood Hill Cemetery and Columbarium is apparently "historic." It just makes sense.

While we don't know much about Habermann, a quick and completely random Google image search leads us to believe it's probably this guy.

PREFUNK: A historic tour of South Tacoma, eh? 

Has a situation ever called for malt liquor more? 

The answer is no.

See you next week.

BRING ON THE WEEKEND >>>

Oh, fuck yeah, dude! The weekend is soooooo close. Not sure when quitting time is in your cubicle, but this hack writer has t-minus three hours until freedom, with shorts, flip-flops and a frosty adult beverage waiting for him at home. And, yes, by "him" I mean "me" - perhaps a little Bobble Tiki has rubbed off.

Anyway, before I can get to the aforementioned shorts, flip-flops and frosty beverage, I have to provide you - faithful reader - with yet another installment of The Prefunk - a primer for you and your liver for the coming weekend (with a photo of an alcoholic household pet thrown in for pure comedic value).

Pacific Northwest Nationals

July 23-25 @ the Puyallup Fairgrounds

Not many things go together as well as a beautiful weekend and classic, tricked-out, pimped-out hot rods. Luckily, the Pacific Nationals hot rod show - presented by Goodguys Rod & Custom Association - will rev up at the Puyallup Fairgrounds this weekend, going Friday through Sunday.

If you're into classic cars, or simply hanging out with a bunch of people that are REALLY INTO classic cars, this could be your bet.

Sweetening the deal, the Weekly Volcano has learned none other than Melanie Rushforth of Rushforth Wheels - voted Tacoma's Sexiest Local Business Owner in the Volcano's 2010 Tacoma's Most Sexy Issue - will be there with her husband, Jason - the other half of the Rushforth Wheels puzzle. They're also reportedly bringing their 1964 Buick Skylark, so that should be pretty awesome.

Now, I know what you may be thinking: Cars are so yesterday, bro. And aren't tricked out wheels just for Fast and Furious d-bags?

Wrong, laser breath. Melanie Rushforth spoke about misconceptions like this and more in March, as part of the Tacoma's Most Sexy Issue.

"I own a custom wheel company with my husband, Jason.  Wheels, you ask?  Like Pimp My Ride?  No.  Not at all.  That shit is not sexy.  Our wheels are classy and timeless," said Rushforth. "When I'm not pushing wheels, I'm pushing Tacoma!  I'm the founder of the Tacoma City Kids Marathon, and one of the founding members of one of the most fun events in all of T-Town: Tap into T-Town.  It's coming up soon - you should join me."

She didn't mention spending time in Puyallup for things like the Pacific Northwest Nationals, but you can find her there too.

As well as the fantastic Rushforths, according to promotions those that mosey on down to Puyallup for the Pacific Northwest Nationals will find, "over 2,500 1972 & earlier rods, customs & classics, vendor exhibits, indoor car show, Builder's Choice awards by Art & Craig Morrison, a giant pin stripers brush bash, a swap meet & cars for sale corral, Friday Night Drags at Pacific Raceways, nightly stage shows and parties, cruising - you name it it's happening at the 23rd Pacific Northwest Nationals!"

Vroom. Vroom.

PREFUNK: Nothing beats the high that comes from filling up the ol' tank with petrol - and it's even better if you get a good deal. Sadly, there are no good deals left to be had on gas, so you'll just have to settle from the momentary buzz that comes from dropping three dollars a gallon to juice up the Explorer. It's a bummer, but it still beats walking - at least until nations are run by eye-patch wearing warlords that trade what oil we have left like babies on the Shanghai black market. Then we'll walk.

Right now, drive to Puyallup and see some hot rods.

BRING ON THE WEEKEND >>>

Good lord. It's Friday already. Is it just me, or do the weeks seem to be zipping by at light speed lately?

Of course, there are a few reasons for this - including my continued use of drugs and alcohol. Now, these habits aren't making YOUR weeks go by any faster, but they're certainly screwing with mine.

More importantly, though, it's the summer festival season in the South Sound and specifically Tacoma. It feels like for the last month or so every waking moment of Saturdays and Sundays has been spent frantically bouncing from one festival to the next. Urban Arts Festival, Art on the Ave, Hempfest, Out in the Park... the list goes on. It's been fun, but it's also made summer speed at an alarming rate.

But let's not complain. It could be far worse.

That said, it's time for The Prefunk, a primer for the coming weekend for you and your liver - with a picture of an alcoholic household pet thrown in for good measure.

Seventh Annual Plogfest @ Uncle Sam's American Bar & Grill

Saturday, July 17

As the typically hung-over Bobble Tiki noted in his Threats & Promises column yesterday, the annual Plogfest musical celebration - which made its name as a camp-out, nature meets local music summer music orgy in Graham - has moved this year, relocating the action to Uncle Sam's American Bar & Grill in Spanaway. While the campfires and Kum-ba-ya vibe will be gone, this year's Plogfest - the seventh annual - will still kick major musical ass, with a lineup featuring Koz of Konfuzion, Voxxy Vallejo, I Defy, Dave Hannon, Body Box, Menace, Faces Pale, Dead Soul Funeral and more. More info is available here.

PREFUNK: The thing is, Plogfest - to me, at least - seemed at least half as much about the music as it was about the communal camping experience. While I whole-heartedly support Plogfest's move, as I'm sure the reasons were plenty, it will be sad to see the outdoorsy aspects lost.

So here's what you do...

Plogfest will kick off at noon Saturday at Uncle Sam's in Spanaway. That means, if you play your cards right, you could get a full night of camping in prior to the festivities. Why not pack your backpack, grab a sleeping bag, and finally experience the wondrous camping opportunities offered by Spanaway.

I call dibs on the dumpster behind Lucky Teriyaki.

SUSTAINABILITY FROM A PUBLIC RELATIONS PERSPECTIVE @ PLU

Sunday, July 18

Sunday, Pacific Luther University's Dr. Amy Young, who taught a class last spring, "focused on developing a plan for advertising and building a public relations campaign around sustainability at PLU," according to promotional material, will lead a presentation based on the research that class collected from 3-5 p.m. Young will discuss what her class discovered, including obstacles identified in establishing sustainability into the culture at PLU, and how those obstacles might be overcome. All of this, of course, from a "public relations perspective."

PREFUNK: It might not be a bad idea to brush up on a recent email from the City of Tacoma, which hit my inbox yesterday. Learn the ins and outs of it, and then ask Dr. Young how Tacoma is handing its sustainability... FROM A PUBLIC RELATIONS PERSPECTIVE.

The email:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

July 15, 2010

Consent decree over improper release of refrigerant leads to cleaner air

The City of Tacoma has entered into a consent decree with the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency and the Department of Justice regarding improper release of refrigerant into the air at the City's Household Hazardous Waste facility. As a result of the consent decree and environmental projects specified in the decree, the city's environment will be safer and cleaner and greenhouse gas emissions will be reduced.

According to the EPA, the city released refrigerant into the air between October 2004 and August 2007 in violation of the federal Clean Air Act.

Under the consent decree, the city will pay a civil penalty of $224,684 and complete three environmental projects to reduce diesel emissions and improve air quality in Tacoma. The projects are:

1.      Replacing one existing diesel garbage truck with a truck powered by diesel hydraulic hybrid technology. This vehicle saves fuel and reduces diesel emissions.

2.      Purchasing an electric hybrid "yard mule," a small tractor used to move trailers around at the landfill. This vehicle runs largely on electricity, saving fuel and reducing diesel emissions.

3.      Retrofitting 10 semi tractor-trailer trucks with equipment that reduces diesel emissions.

In November 2006, a departing city employee expressed concern about the handling of refrigerant gases at the landfill. The city immediately contacted the EPA to report the potential violation and seek assistance in dealing with the concern.

A city investigation was unable to substantiate improper refrigerant recovery practices, and the city understood that technicians were following accepted procedures.

The EPA determined that the city had released refrigerant from storage tanks after the gases were removed from appliances. The EPA estimated that about 4,160 pounds of R-12 and 450 pounds of R-22 were improperly vented from the storage tanks. The city didn't have sufficient documentation to prove this didn't happen.

The city has already implemented strict refrigerant handling procedures, including increased recordkeeping standards. The city believes its current procedures will prevent the release of refrigerants in the future.

Tacoma City Council authorized the consent decree June 15.

###

Now that's some real sustainable shit... at least from a public relations perspective.

See you next week.

BRING ON THE WEEKEND >>>

I'm going to be brief. The weekend is basically here, I've got a wedding to attend later this afternoon at the Museum of Glass, and Monday marks the official start of summer. There's really very little time to fuck around. The time for freedom is here.

Even though my iPhone weather predictor is calling for rain all weekend, I won't be deterred. That fucking thing is never right. Plus, raining or not - it's the weekend, which by very definition is SO MUCH better than the workweek.

Here's your Prefunk, a weekend primer for you and your liver - with a complimentary picture of an alcoholic household pet thrown in for good measure.

Enjoy.

DIRTYCHANGEUP, NAKED BACON, ZE KRUSTACEANS @ BOB'S JAVA JIVE

Saturday, June 19

Mmmm... bacon.

If it's been a while since you've checked into Bob's Java Jive - say, years and years perhaps - the time has come for you to re-acquaint yourself.

Trust me. It'll be quick. Not much has changed, unless you go back to the smoking-chimp era.

Saturday, you'll have a prime chance to see the Jive in all its glory when three hardworking, relatively modest bands fill the beer-serving coffee pot with a few of their friends, a few regulars, a bartender or two - and, voila! - the entire place feels packed. Tacoma's DirtyChangeUp and Seattle's Naked Bacon are both jam bands (didn't see that coming, did you?); while Tacoma's Ze Krustaceans lean a little more in the surf direction - and just might steal the entire show.

PREFUNK: If you want to be a real rebel, smuggle in your own Red Vines and get at the snaking early, so you're not tempted to buy a handful of them from the bar after two or three PBRs. I can tell you from experience: Heartburn City. It's a bad scene.

As they say, "Licorice before beer, you're in the clear. Beer before licorice, you're probably going to vomit frothy red stomach bile onto a Teddy Haggarty painted wall after the last band."

CANNON BALL TRICYCLE DOWNHILL RACE

Sunday, June 20.

OK. This one has already been touched on a couple times by the Volcano, by writers far more worried about "professionalism" and "accuracy" than me.

The Cannon Ball Tricycle Downhill Race, allegedly organized by T-Town's infamous TW the custom vintage bike maker, will go down Sunday. You can find all the info you need here, here and even here.

PREFUNK: Drinking and driving is never, EVER cool... unless you're on a pink, powder-coated tricycle and wearing assless-chaps and a top hat. Just sayin'. Do your homework, and come prepared!

See you next week.