WHAT WE HAVE FOUND TODAY >>>

How Many Tacoma Fire Department Personnel Does It Take To Rescue Two Dumbass Beachcombers?: Two engines, three ladder companies, tech-rescue rig and five staff members, as well as two medic brigs. (New Tribune)

What Happens If You Pull A Gun On a Fircrest Police Officer?: You'll get shot. (News Tribune)

Fircrest Vs. University Place: It's all fun and games until you want to improve the roads until you try to charge traffic impact fees for developments. (News Tribune)

Find The Stolen Guns Game: Although the game involves crimes. (News Tribune)

George Zimmerman: He's been released on bond. (CNN)

Obama Power Play: With Republicans blocking his agenda, the president has been using executive powers to enact measures on the environment, education, drug shortages and recess appointments. (The New York Times)

Cats Vs. Dogs: Finally, an answer on which is better. (Buzz Feed)

Old Spice: It's trying to make "smellf" happen. (Time)

Handy Guide: 12 things being sold on eBay because they kind of look like Jesus. (The Awl)

Finally, The Answer: Why do we say "Ye Olde" something-or-other when we want to sound Old English? (Neatorama)

It's Official! The gays prefer Adele to Lady Gaga according to a very scientific Gaydar poll. (The Sun)

China Knuckles: It's for the girl who wants to be chic and eco-friendly while still being conscious of self defense. (Who Killed Bambi)

HELP US FIND THE SEXIEST PEOPLE IN THE SOUTH SOUND >>>

Once again, the Weekly Volcano is unleashing The Sexy Issue, giving one and all the chance to gaze at the sexiest people in the South Sound - as voted on by all of you, our dear readers. The great thing about the Volcano's annual Sexy Issue, if we do say so ourselves, is how it manages to prove, year after year, that you don't have to be on a Kia Super Bowl ad to be smoking hot. Our annual Sexy Issue is the Weekly Volcano's way of showcasing the South Sound's sexiest denizens - and by denizens we don't mean celebrities; we're talking about regular dudes and dudettes who just happen to look sexy as hell when taking us on test drives, trimming our meat or brewing our beer. These folks can be just as hot - and a hell of a lot more accessible, theoretically - as anyone you typically see on TV and in magazines. 

This year, we are asking you to nominate the person who makes you all hot and bothered in the following categories: Actor/Actress, Artist, Brewer, Karaoke Host, Lead singer, Lawyer, Butcher, Car Salesperson, Blogger and Personal Trainer.

On Thursday, June 7, the Weekly Volcano will publish The Sexy Issue, immortalizing the sexy, chosen few forever.

Help us find them.

Voting ends May 11 at 5 p.m. - so help the Weekly Volcano find the South Sound's hottest citizens. Vote today!

Vote for the South Sound's sexiest people

>>> VOTING CLOSED FOR MARCH 15 <<<

Two years ago, the Weekly Volcano challenged 64 taco slingers to enter tournament-style culinary combat, shell versus shell, with Moctezuma's crowned best taco. Last year, pizza took center-stage in our quest for gustatory greatness, with Katie Downs pie reigning supreme. This year, the tradition continues.

It's breakfast time, baby!

Beginning today, 64 well-buttered competitors (for the most part) will tip off and do battle - working their way through the tediously constructed bracket and toward ultimate supremacy.

We speak, of course, of the Weekly Volcano's Tournament of Breakfast, which kicks off this morning right here on Spew. Sixty-four area breakfast joints were selected and seeded by readers throughout February, and now the time has come to see who's best. Only one can be crowned king - so vote early, and DAILY here on Spew. Use the bracket attached to his post to guide you through the daily matchups.

Then, on April 2, join us at the Meconi's Pub in downtown Tacoma for the Official Tournament of Breakfast Party - our winner will be announced during halftime of the NCAA Men's Basketball Championship game.

The daily breakfast battles here on Spew are sponsored by Shakabrah Java on Tacoma's Sixth Avenue.

OK, let's check out today's First Round breakfast battles. Vote for one breakfast joint per battle. Voting for today's breakfast battles ends at 11:45 p.m.

SPEND YOUR MORNINGS WISELY THIS WEEK >>>

It's March ... meaning Madness is once again in the air. Soon, 64 early risers will tip off and do battle in part of an annual South Sound tradition - working their way through a tediously-constructed bracket and toward ultimate supremacy.

We speak, of course, of the Weekly Volcano's Tournament of Breakfast, which kicks off March 15 right here on Spew. This year's Tournament of Breakfast marks the continuation of an epic winning streak that began in 2010 with the Volcano's Tournament of Tacos, and continued in 2011 with the Tournament of Pizza.

This year, the Volcano has the South Sound's best breakfast in its crosshairs, and it's up to readers to decide who walks away the winner.

Through the end of March, and keeping pace with the national excitement on the college basketball courts (though far more tasty), 64 area breakfast joints will compete in the Volcano's 2012 Tournament of Breakfast. These pancake-serving and egg-frying establishments were selected and seeded by readers throughout February, and now the time has come to see who's best. Marcia's Silver Spoon, Shakabrah or Old Milwaukee Cafe in Tacoma? Carrs or Burs? Darby's or the New Moon Cafe down south?

Only one can be crowned king - so vote early, often and DAILY on this blog. Use the bracket inside the print version of the Weekly Volcano to guide you through the matchups.

Then, on April 2, join us at the Meconi's Tacoma Pub & Eatery for the Official Tournament of Breakfast Party - our winner will be announced during halftime of the NCAA Men's Basketball Championship game.

See you back here Thursday, March 15.

Sponsore by ...

WE'RE SEEDING OUR TOURNAMENT OF BREAKFAST! >>>

In March, the Weekly Volcano will host the South Sound Tournament of Breakfast. Chosen through the nomination process below, the top 64 vote getters - the cream of the griddle - will compete daily on our blog - weeklyvolcanospew.com - March 15-April 2. Through online voting, readers will pick daily winners until the Best Breakfast in the South Sound is crowned. It's just like March Madness, only with way more syrup. The Tournament of Breakfast grand champion will be announced at our Tournament of Breakfast Party at 6 p.m. April 2 (details soon).

First, we need you to help select the 64 restaurants that should be included in the tournament. Who has the best breakfast in the South Sound? Vote for your favorite below.

WHEN WEATHER REPORTS SCARE >>>

AccuWeather just dropped this on the Weekly Volcano World Headquarters:

January 16, 2012 – State College, PA – After a modest round of wintry weather over the weekend, more snow, including a potentially historic winter storm will target the Pacific Northwest this week, with heavy accumulations expected, even in Seattle.

In the Cascades of Washington and Oregon, snow will be measured in feet and along some western-facing slopes, it could take multiple yard sticks to total up the powder!

Read more...

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Every New Year's Eve we do it to ourselves. Why? Is it the sweet clink of the ice cubes? The exhilarating pop of the cork? Or just the way the night seems to open up into endless magical possibilities?

Whatever it is, things aren't so magical the next morning. There's nothing glamorous or exhilarating about bloodshot eyes swollen shut. Instead of trying to remember who dropped the poison into your eyeballs, soothe the savage orb with wikiHow's seven steps to cure puffy eyes. You're so welcome.

From everyone at the Weekly Volcano and Spew land, we wish you a happy new year!

LINK: 5 Ways to be a Better (cough) You!

Weekly Volcano's bosses ran the numbers and decided that since you'll all be drunk anyway, there's no use in turning the lights on Christmas Day. So: We'll be back Monday with more frivolity. In the meantime, thanks for reading and commenting this past year. Consider our stockings stuffed.

So "Merry" this and "Happy" that, whatever suits your fancy or your need. Just don't forget the "Ho Ho Ho" that, maybe better than anything else, keeps it all in perspective.

Oh, and Happy New Year. That's unambiguous.

The Weekly Volcano and Spew would like to wish you a Happy Turkey Day! We hope you and a few others huddle around what little warmth there is in a increasingly cold and uncaring universe, sipping, supping, and supporting one another - because there is nothing else worth doing.

Love each other.

Then go find some karaoke.

FRIDAY, OCT. 28, 2011 >>>

1. Walking the line between sanity and madness - or pretending to do so - helps give Halloween its juice. Stripping that path down to historical storytelling heightens the experience in ways that slasher movies can't, because written words conjure up images unique to each individual's cranium. The scare becomes customized. That's the approach taken by The Fort Nisqually Foundation as it celebrates Halloween in the style of past centuries by telling ghost stories around a roaring bonfire from 7-9 p.m. tonight and tomorrow. Once again held inside the walls of Fort Nisqually Living History Museum, "Bonfires, Beaver Pelts & Bogeymen" will send shivers down your spine as storytellers bring forth the spirits of the fur trade.

2. Nancy Fullerton, assistant curator of Latin American Art from the San Antonio Museum of Art, convinced the folks at the Tacoma Art Museum to let the public have a sneak peak of the new exhibition, Folk Treasures of Mexico: The Nelson A. Rockefeller Collection from the San Antonio Museum of Art. The terms of the agreement forces Fullerton to lead a 10:30 a.m. tour of the exhibit and something about a private margarita party. We'll investigate the margarita thing.

3. Orca Books in Olympia welcomes poet Linda Back McKay and photographer Lenny Zimmerman at 7 p.m. to celebrate the release of their new book, The Next Best Thing. McKay is a Minneapolis poet, writer and teaching artist with the Loft Literary Center in Minneapolis, Minn. Zimmerman is an artist and photographer living in Puyallup.

4. Lynn Di Nino has organized another TRIPOD Slide Show inside Madera Architectural Elements in downtown Tacoma. At 7 p.m. Marse Lear, Peter Serko and Kristin Giordano will show their photographic wonders under the theme, "Landscapes For Interior Transformation." Grab a gist of the TRIPOD series here.

5. Doing its part to keep Fircrest's Halloween celebrants from choking on family-friendly pabulum, Wheelz Skate Arena will fill its rink with chainsaw exhaust, dry ice and rock music. Beginning at 8 p.m. the skating complex hosts an all-ages extravaganza of assaultive after-hours entertainment, an invitation for the morbidly curious to skate to the musical stylings of Argonaut, The Fun Police, The Plastards, Verlee For Ransom, as well as DJs Klik and Travis Bakers on the ones and twos. Warning: If Plastards singer Bill becomes enthusiastic with a chainsaw, sit up and take notice.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Movies open today!