FREE EVENTS IN THE SOUTH SOUND JAN. 2-8, 2012 >>>

The folks in the Freeloaders-land R&D Department have been diligently working to find new ways to improve this column, and they think they've outdone themselves with their newest innovation. Just in time for the shorter days of winter, Bobble Tiki's column will soon glow in the dark! Are your children afraid to sleep at night? Just use Freeloaders as a comforting nightlight!  Read it in darkened rooms, use it to send signals across the Narrows - the options are nearly limitless! In celebration of this new development, Bobble Tiki will shed light on this week's free events that will help you see the light. So sit back, leave that lamp off for a few more minutes and enjoy!

MONDAY, JAN. 2: The Stevie Nicks landslide has brought Bobble Tiki to a life of corked, isolated displeasure.  Heartily aware of his divergence from productivity some 25 years ago, he nonetheless goes on, still picking at shag carpets for the cheap and banal and crying all the way to the bank. Not to be overly dramatic but Bobble Tiki has the feeling that the end is nigh.  He says this because he's starting to notice something extremely dire in his day-to-day swish through life, equal parts fabulous and scary, and therefore necessarily apocalyptic: His life is becoming just like the color of his hair. Bobble Tiki needs answers.  He needs them now! So he's stopping by the free Psychic Buffet that offers "a tasty treat for the soul" every first Monday of the month inside the Urban Onion Restaurant in downtown Olympia. Psychic Lisa Holm and crew offer energy healing with intuitive readings and numerology at 5 p.m.

TUESDAY, JAN. 3: As counterintuitive as it might initially seem, if you own a Nook or Kindle or a device with the Kindle app (iOS, Android, PC), you can learn how to download free e-books to your device from the folks at Pierce County Library.  Yes, students that includes Cliffs Notes, if you've managed to seriously drop the ball on homework.  As part of its "How To..." Month at the Summit Library, a librarian will teach you how to download for free at 7 p.m.

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 4: If you're anything like Bobble Tiki you need to work off all the holiday cookies. If you are truly like Bobble Tiki than you know that's difficult because you have a spring instead of legs. If you do have legs, then Bobble Tiki suggests you hit the Cushman Trail in Gig Harbor.  It's quite lovely. Even more lovely - Sound Vista Village, a retirement community close to the trail, will serve complimentary cocoa, tea or coffee fireside during January.

THURSDAY, JAN. 5: Isabel Wilkerson's mesmerizing book The Warmth of Other Suns shed slight on the mass movement of six million African Americans from the south to the north in the middle decades of the 20th century - told through the lives of three people who joined the exodus. The Fireside Bookstore Book Group will discuss the book at 7 p.m. inside the historic Hotel Olympian in downtown Olympia.

FRIDAY, JAN. 6: Do you know about the case of Leonard Peltier? In 1975, two FBI agents were shot in a gunfight on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in South Dakota. Peltier, as a representative of the American Indian Movement, was convicted of their murders in spite of a government case dependent on coerced testimony and suppressed evidence.  Robert Redford produced and narrated a documentary shedding light on the incident with an original musical score by John Trudell and Jackson Browne. Redford made the film in the hopes that Peltier's story, when it became more widely known, would make people demand his freedom though he has exhausted his legal appeals. Catch the film for free at 6 p.m. inside King's Books in Tacoma.

SATURDAY, JAN. 7: Saturday is just an artsy kinda day, isn't it?  Which is good, if you're an artsy kinda person.  And artsy kinda people need good days, because their lives are difficult. Oh, you chortle, but the price of Ramen has gone through the roof lately. But Saturday is an artsy day because Saturday is the first Saturday of the month, which means the Gig Harbor Monthly Art Walk is on.  Take a free, self-guided tour of the galleries along the Gig Harbor waterfront from 1-5 p.m. See other people's work and become inspired.

SUNDAY, JAN. 8: For weeks the newspaper ads have been catching Bobble Tiki's eye: "Psychic Readers Network - Work at Home - No Experience Necessary." If no experience is necessary, then anyone could be a telephone psychic, Bobble Tiki figures - even Bobble Tiki. He's determined to try. He has seen the late-night television commercials that portray psychics gleaning the innermost secrets of amazed callers. But before he takes the plunge, Bobble Tiki will do a little homework. He'll check out the Intuitive and Healing Arts Fair noon to 7 p.m. Saturday and noon to 5 p.m. Sunday at the Crystal Voyage in Tacoma.  Psychic readers in palm, face, tarot, angel card and past life promise to enlighten for free. Right now, the only thing Bobble Tiki can predict is last night's winning lottery numbers.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

BOOZE UPDATE >>>

When Bobble Tiki was a tiny tyke, Father Tiki taught him an important lesson. Father Tiki said ''Bobble, every rose has its thorn. Just like every night has its dawn. Just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad, song.''

Wait a minute, those are also the lyrics from a Poison song.

This explains why Father Tiki's talk about the birds and the bees included multiple references to the phrase "Unskinny Bop."

It's only appropriate, then, that Bobble Tiki will be upfront for hair-metal rockers Poison, Motley Crue and the New York Dolls Friday night at the Tacoma Dome for more fatherly advice ... and Aqua Net to impressionable young fans.

Booze Update

The Tacoma Dome Exhibition Hall will open its beer garden at 5 p.m. Expect $4 happy hour specials from 5-6 p.m. including Bud Light, Bud Light Lime, house wines, Pink Lemon Bombs, Los Cabos Margaritas and Corral Reef Mai Tais. 

The McKinley's Grill Restaurant inside the Dome will also open at 5 p.m. with $3 happy hour specials available from 5-6 p.m. Click here for a free appetizer coupon. No reservations accepted, seating is first come, first serve.

By the way, there's limited $25 cash only parking in Tacoma Dome lots.

Motley Crue, Poison, The New York Dolls

Friday, Aug. 12, 7 p.m., $25-$95 at Ticketmaster
Tacoma Dome, 2727 E. D St., Tacoma
253.272.3663

SINGER JEFF HAMEL TALKS THROUGH HIS AWESOME BEARD >>>

This week Bobble Tiki caught up with SweetKiss Momma, a band that's been gaining steady local ground over the last year or more (thanks in small part to Volcano editor Matt Driscoll's man crush on them). Rooted in the ethos of "Southern Rock," and passionate enough about it to not come off like total tools from Puyallup just trying to get laid by chicks that love Skynyrd (goes a long way in P-Town, Bobble Tiki imagines), SweetKiss is a band seemingly defying the odds at the moment - gaining a following and going places on the back of the tunes, not the internet hype or hashtags.

There's plenty going on with the SweetKiss boys, including new members and new shows, so Bobble Tiki might as well let lead singer Jeff Hamel tell you all about it ...

To read the full story, click here.

[Stonegate Pizza, SweetKiss Momma, with Astrovan, Saturday, March 26, 9 p.m., $5, 5419 South Tacoma Way, Tacoma]

OK, OK - Bobble Tiki gets it. He's been a complete bum lately. Like Skippyjon Jones, maybe Bobble Tiki's been lost in spice - only the "spice" was actually booze, various other intoxicants, and copious amounts of self-loathing? But you probably wont be reading stories about Bobble Tiki's recent bender to your toddler at bedtime anytime soon. That'd just be fucked up.

Amazingly, even after finding the empty booze bottle in his desk, the empty cartoon of Newport Reds (what's up with those?) in his office trash bin, and an empty soul upon further inspection, the powers that be here at the Weekly Volcano decided to keep Bobble Tiki on staff. Bobble Tiki suspects it's because, during the heyday, the Swarner Bros erected a wooden statue of Tiki outside the office -- and they're probably just too damn cheap to replace it with a chainsaw carved Steph DeRosa. So the performance goes on ...

However, after returning from a successful, whirlwind, would-be-world-record-if-they-would-have-just-stopped-being-dicks-and-admited-Bobble-Tiki-was-cured-like-he-insisted-instead-of-making-him-jump-the-fence stay at Schick Shadel, Bobble Tiki is back at it - debuting a new column he hopes will reinvigorate his life like an erection lasting longer than four hours. Bobble Tiki can already feel the life pumping back into him. Slowly but surely...

Ladies and gentleman, "Three Questions with Bobble Tiki"

This week ...

Where Sails Meet Rails guitarist and frontman Jake Westhoff

[The New Frontier, Where Sails Meet Rails, with special guests, Friday, March 4, 9 p.m., cover TBA, 301 E 25^th St., Tacoma, 253.572.4020]

BOBBLE TIKI'S COLUMN HAS FINALLY POSTED >>>

Getting sick in the summer is like getting hit with a sledgehammer only worse, because it's the sledgehammer Bobble Tiki lent his now sun-bathing neighbor five months ago ... and why didn't he return it to Bobble Tiki sooner ... and where is that Weedwacker Bobble Tiki lent him ages ago, asshole. Jeez.

Any – achoo! – way, Bobble Tiki finally posted his music column on the Volcano's website here. Bobble Tiki waxes Plogfest 2010, and the Eddie Spaghetti show at Hell's Kitchen.

Now Bobble Tiki has to finish this week's Concert Alert that he was forced to do after last week's prank during the "editorial meeting." Bobble Tiki secretly filled a bottle marked "suppositories" with white jellybeans. Bobble Tiki ate the jellybeans in front of the writing staff and we all had a good laugh. But then they stopped laughing when Bobble Tiki stuck them in his butt.

So, if discovering what concerts go on sale this week on a Thursday is important to you, you will be disappointed. Bobble Tiki is headed back to bed.

BOBBLE TIKI: A SAD DAY >>>

Dear Tree In Our Office Parking Lot,

We see each other every day, sometimes twice a day. You know Bobble Tiki. You know that Bobble Tiki works below you. You sometimes whisper strange things to Bobble Tiki when he’s forced to take out the garbage. You whisper endearing things such as "Your spring is a perfectly medium length," or strange things such as, "You and I are headed for the wood chipper soon."  Bobble Tiki must tell you that he is saddened to see that you tried to take your life today.

Why Tree In Our Office Parking Lot? Why did you throw half of yourself to the ground?

Bobble Tiki takes a little blame for the situation. Bobble Tiki should have listened more closely. Bobble Tiki should have paid more attention to the signs. You tossed pine cones at Bobble Tiki daily. You covered his car with debris. You place your needles under Bobble Tiki’s car wipers irritating the hell out of him.

Remember that Bobble Tiki has only shouted at you once. But now, Tree In Our Office Parking Lot, this game has gone too far.

You nearly crushed Bobble Tiki’s car this morning. Why? Do you really want to spend the rest of your life spread below a jungle gym? You realize children will not respect you. They will pee on you without a second thought.

Bobble Tiki doesn't want to hash out all of the other recent troubles you have caused; Bobble Tiki believes we might still be able to work this out since half of you still stands.

One last request: could you stop throwing pine cones at Bobble Tiki’s social worker when she comes to visit? It’s not helping.

Kind regards,

Bobble Tiki

BOBBLE TIKI: SUPPORT THE EMERGENCY FOOD NETWORK >>>
 
Are you indecisive?  Do you find grocery shopping frustrating because of the number of options? Are you rich?  Do you wish you had less money simply because it would reduce your options in life?  Well, Bobble Tiki can help you, friend. Help you and help those who can’t afford to eat during the holiday season. 

The demand on the food bank system in Pierce County is up nearly 40 percent this year, according to Jeff Klein, development director for the Emergency Food Network in Lakewood. EFN is on pace to distribute 14 million pounds of food valued at $21 million in 2009.

“We supply food for 65 food banks and hot meal sites and do it with an overhead of less than 4 percent,” says Klein. “We’d love more community support for our efforts in terms of donation drives and food drives at local shows and events.”

Now there’s a rad idea. If you’re hosting a show or community event, consider adding a food drive or donating part of the profits to EFN. Give Klein and his crew a call at 253.584.1040.

Hope this has been helpful.

BOBBLE TIKI: MAD CADDIES PLAY HELL'S KITCHEN >>>

Considering the amount of time Bobble Tiki spent listening to KGRG in the late '90s and early part of this decade, Mad Caddies have practically burned a sonic impression in Bobble Tiki's brain - in oh such a good way. Bobble Tiki knows it's a Monday, but Mad Caddies at Hell's Kitchen is destined to be one of this week's best. - Bobble Tiki

[Hell's Kitchen, with Johnstones and Walk The Plank, Monday, Nov. 2, 7 p.m., all ages, $12 advance, $15 door, 3829 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.759.6003]

BOBBLE TIKI: RONTROSE QUITS; KRISTIN CONNELL OPENS THE SPEAKEASY >>>

It’s a new week, which means it’s time for a new installment of Bobble Tiki’s South Sound music news and notes column. Check out my column in today's Weekly Volcano on the streets or online for news regarding Ron “Rontrose” Heathman leaving The Supersuckers; the Speakeasy Art Co-op opening featuring Kristin Connell; and Blame it on the Girl at Bob’s Java Jive.

BOBBLE TIKI: TIKI LOGIC >>>

On the sad news front, Bobble Tiki recently learned that one of his favorite Tacoma bands, Paris Spleen, will be calling it quits at the end of the month. No word on exactly why the indie rockers are moving on to hopefully bigger and better things, but Bobble Tiki suspects those Paris Spleen pants finally just got too tight.

Read the sad news regarding Bobble Tiki's health and the Spleen split here.