SANTA SAYS >>>>

There are many differences between the New Year's celebrations of New York City and Tacoma, the most telling of which is the trajectory of each ball. In New York, the ball drops - another year down the tubes. In Tacoma, however, the ball is set on fire.           

"We're really stepping up the fire aspect to mitigate the cold," First Night Tacoma co-producer Lance Kagey told the Weekly Volcano. "Last year, we had Zen fire gardens, which are very cool basins filled with black sand. You can draw in them with sticks and fire traces your drawing. We'll have those again. We'll have some fires to gather around for warmth. We have a big fire spectacular at the end of the night, and lots of fire performers throughout the evening."

As in years past a parade kicks off Tacoma's First Night 2012 nighttimeNew Year's Eve celebration in downtown Tacoma. And this year isn't any different. Beginning at 6:30 p.m. the "World's Shortest Parade" will march from the Graffiti Garages to the Theatre on the Square featuring representatives from the Dockyard Derby Dames, fire dancers, Metro Arts Dragon team and many more.

Of course, the World's Shortest Parade is only a beginning. A First Night Tacoma button will allow you access to 20 different stages and the museums, offering a wide variety of entertainment options. The annual, all-ages, family-friendly, alcohol-free New Year's Eve celebration follows the Chinese lunar calendar, and this year is the year of the dragon. In this spirit there will be two large dragons making an appearance at the festival - a 35-foot creation by Metro Parks Tacoma, and a 14-foot fire-breathing metal beast.

The entertainment schedule for the night blows my mind. Check out the schedule here.

First Night Buttons are only $10 before the festival begins. The buttons make the perfect gift. Click here to discover where you can grab one or 20.

So if you're just glad 2011 is over, stay at home and join Carson Daly and Justin Bieber in Times Square as they watch the ball drop. If you're excited to get started with 2012, head to downtown Tacoma, where the ball, and spirits, will be on fire.

PLUS: 2011 South Sound Holiday Happenings

LINK: Santa Says RSS feed

LINK: Arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

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PLUS: 2011 Super Best of Tacoma Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

PLUS: 2011 Best of Olympia Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

SANTA SAYS >>>>

Whoa. Stop, take a deep breath, and put down the biscotti you've just sharpened into a stake. You are not alone. There is help. There is GRINCH.

Great Resources In Nourishing Calming Holidays was established in 1976, when a Pres. Gerald Ford loyalist found he was simply unable to squeeze out any seasonal goodwill; empty-handed on Christmas Eve, he made the nimrod decision to set the Christmas tree on fire instead of admitting that he hadn't done any shopping. His ex-wife, homeless, with the divorce settlement she received in early 1977, went on to found GRINCH, determined that no one else's Christmas should go up in smoke.

Though there are no official GRINCH chapters in the South Sound, Santa found a copy of THE GRINCH 13-Step Guide to Getting in the Spirit in Yukon Cornelius's Silver and Gold Market. And there it was. Number 9: "Embrace the Winter Solstice by covering your house in suns and moons and swath the lintels with fir boughs because they smell good and will relive stress through atmospheric control." It also said to shed your clothes and run around naked in the hedges made of brambles and white thorne.

It works, except the naked thing. The fragrance washes away the frosted glassy shiny tinselly stress.

If you want to take Number 9 to the next level, attend the annual Tacoma Winter Solstice and Candle Shriving Celebration Wednesday, Dec. 21 at the Mandolin Café. Open to the public, Goddess Chiara Wood will help bring you to center, wash away the bad and look toward the positive – then feed the hell out of you with a righteous four-course dinner and live music by Paddy Coyne's Irish Session Band.

Santa suggests your partake in the naked thing on your own property.

[The Mandolin Café, Winter Solstice and Candle Shriving Celebration, Wednesday, Dec. 21, 6-9 p.m., 18+, $25 advance tickets at brownpapertickets.com, 3923 S. 12^th St., Tacoma, 253.761.3482, themandolincafe.com]

PLUS: 2011 South Sound Holiday Happenings

LINK: Santa Says RSS feed

LINK: Arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Give the Weekly Volcano a "LIKE" present

PLUS: 2011 Super Best of Tacoma Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

PLUS: 2011 Best of Olympia Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

SANTA SAYS >>>>

Your Aunt Martha gave you a sentimental figurine last year that doesn't exactly blend with your collection of Imari porcelain. It's still in its box, so maybe you can just rewrap it and present it to a co-worker this season.

Then you reconsider. After all, your cousin once gave you a chiffon scarf that smelled of her cologne and carried a few telltale wisps of her hair. You resented that secondhand gift.

So, is re-gifting, as it's called, unethical?

It might be unseemly to give someone a gift you didn't like, knowing the recipient probably won't like it either.

"It's somewhat like putting your trash in someone else's yard," says Papa Elf.

So, what are you going to do with the lime green dotted with candy canes sweater your sister-in-law gave you last Christmas?

You have two options. You can be honest and tell her you didn't like it and gave it to a neighbor to line a doggy bed, or you can keep it and pull it out for ugly holiday sweater parties.

Santa knows it's a tough decision. Give the sucker a test run this week.

The Tacoma Runners group has tagged its 3-mile weekly Thursday run the "Thursday Sweater Run." Throw on the lime beauty; join the large group of runners as they shove off from Doyle's Public House at 6:30 p.m. for a social jog. Afterward, toast the sweater at the post-run party back at Doyle's.

If you're not much of a runner, drive your lazy ass to Rock The Dock Pub & Grill Friday night for its first annual Ugly Christmas Sweater Party. While country rockers Sammy Steele Band performs you'll toss back drink specials and play in "crazy reindeer games." Rock The Dock also hosts a non-perishable food and new toy drive during the party.

[Doyle's Public House, Tacoma Runners, Thursday, Dec. 15, 6:30-9:30 p.m., no admission fee, 208 St. Helens Ave., Tacoma, Facebook]

[Rock The Dock Pub & Grill, Ugly Christmas Sweater Party, Friday, Dec. 16, 6-9 p.m., no cover, 535 Dock St., Tacoma, Facebook]

PLUS: 2011 South Sound Holiday Happenings

LINK: Santa Says RSS feed

LINK: Arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Give the Weekly Volcano a "LIKE" present

PLUS: 2011 Super Best of Tacoma Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

PLUS: 2011 Best of Olympia Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

SANTA SAYS >>>>

Through the years, I have received my fair share of boots, coats, hats and long johns. You know ... the kind of gifts that either end up in the return pile or buried deep in the back of the closet to never see the light of day.

I've also received a mass of lovely fuzzy, warm sweaters knitted by my one and only love, Mrs. Claus. Yeah, back of the closet – handy enough to pull out when she requests but buried deep as to not give me nightmares or scare innocent children.

Ah, but the sweaters can come in handy, especially this time of year. AND it's time to bust out one of those bedazzled, hand stitched, thrown together balls of red and green yarn. Max Muscle Sports Nutrition store hosts another Ugly Sweater Holiday Party and Santa received an invite. I'm going to take the stash of cash back to the North Pole suckas.

Max Muscle's Ugly Holiday Sweater Party will be held Friday, Dec. 16. It's a fundraiser for the Puyallup Food Bank, which is awesome. Expect food, music, dancing and a silent auction.

So dig around for your ugliest sweater and face off with Santa. Warning: I'm bringing the Mrs. Claus 1954 Mamie Eisenhower Hugging A Snowman Sweater. Yup, you all are going down.

For more information, visit Max Muscle's Facebook.

[Max Muscle, Ugly Sweater holiday Party, Dec. 16, 6-10 p.m., $3-$20, Meridian Habitat Park Community Center, 14422 Meridian St. E., Puyallup, 253.229.4735]

PLUS: 2011 South Sound Holiday Happenings

LINK: Santa Says RSS feed

LINK: Arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Give the Weekly Volcano a "LIKE" present

PLUS: 2011 Super Best of Tacoma Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

PLUS: 2011 Best of Olympia Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

SANTA SAYS >>>>

I won't let Mrs. Claus toss it. I have a firm grip on my Christmas-light-laden and obscenely geometric printed green-and-red sweater. It's my go-to ugly holiday sweater. This puppy captured three ugly sweater contests, including the Winter Warlock's 2003 Festival of Lightsabers & Ugly Holiday Sweater Party. That, my friends, was off the hook.

Anyway, my point to all of this is I'm thinking about hitting Doyle's Public House's Bad Sweater Party 6 Wednesday, Nov. 23. The ugly holiday sweater contest prizes will be shelled out for the best worst male, best worst female, best worst couple and best worst group.

"This aint no Cosby contest, this is strictly holiday sweaters," says Doyle's co-owner Russ Heaton.

In support of Project Red, Doyle's will be introducing the COSBY - a unique concoction featuring Belvedere vodka that will help hide the fact you're wearing a hideous holiday sweater.

LINK: Photos from Bad Sweater Party 2009

[Doyle's Public House, Wednesday, Nov. 23, 7-11:30 p.m., no cover, 208 St. Helens Ave., Tacoma, 253.272-7488]

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SANTA SAYS >>>>

With Thanksgiving looming large, you must succumb to the siren song of the approaching Holiday season.

The folks at the Weekly Volcano have posted its first round of holiday events in the South Sound. Yes, they present this list awfully early this year. That's so them!

Click here for the scoop on movies, plays, dance, concerts, outdoor activities and festivals coming your way between now and the end of the year - plus other events that defy categorization and enough Nutcrackers to satisfy even those dance enthusiasts who don't know the difference between a pas de deux and the shag. There's also a searchable database of events here.

The Weekly Volcano will also offering four print holiday guides, the first hitting the street Wednesday.

Once you've baked enough cookies to last until Easter, spent three weeks worth of paychecks, and played all of your Christmas albums backward, break out those wool socks and long underwear and hit the area for something new.

LINK: Santa Says RSS feed

LINK: Arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

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SANTA SAYS >>>>

Happy holidays everyone! Santa is ready for his holiday invitations!

If you are in the same boat as me and haven't already been invited to several holiday functions, it may be time to take the hint and start making a few new friends.  I know I am. There's no better way to ingratiate yourself to those whose company you would like to keep than to host a festive seasonal gathering.

But what to serve?

Egg nog is swell, but I prefer my rum with pineapple juice and my eggs over-easy.

The following cocktail suggestions are easy to make and are sure to catapult you to the top of the "A" list for the 2011 party circuit.

Holiday Cosmopolitan

Serves 20
One's first instinct might be to shun this red drink. It has the look of a snowman's drink. But lay aside those bigoted thoughts. First of all, if it's a Cosmo worth drinking (not watered down), it will actually be pink, not red. That's even worse for those who fear an insult to their manliness!

This variation of the popular contemporary martini called a Cosmopolitan goes down like a candy cane, but be forewarned, elves won't be able to handle it.

Ingredients
1 24-ounce bottle of premium vodka
8 ounces Cointreau
24 ounces cranberry juice (Ocean Spray style)
3/4 cup of freshly squeezed lime juice
6 ounces ice
1 package fresh cranberries

Mix all ingredients together, then chill in refrigerator. To serve, fill a martini or wine glass with ice and add 3 ounces of cranberry concoction. Garnish with a couple of fresh cranberries.

Mulled Wine

Serves 14
The surreal method of thawing out guests who trekked in from the cold.

Ingredients
2 teaspoons whole cloves
4 cinnamon sticks
2 teaspoons aniseed
1 cup freshly squeezed orange juice
4 tablespoons honey
1 cup Calvados or Southern Comfort
2 oranges, sliced
2 bottles of Cabernet Sauvignon or other dry red wine

Combine all the ingredients in a large saucepan. Gently simmer over medium heat for 30 minutes. Pour through a strainer. Save the orange slices and discard the remaining solids. Pour the wine into heated mugs. Add one orange slice per mug and serve.

Singled Out

Serves one to 20
Too busy shopping to prepare cocktails? Here's the solution.

Ingredients
1 bottle single malt scotch
2 crumpled up pages of newspaper
6 sticks of kindling
1 fireplace with 3 pieces of firewood

Pour 1 to 2 ounces of scotch into empty glass. Build fire. Proceed to make interesting conversation while staring into the fireplace and sipping scotch (if you do not have a fireplace, an aquarium will suffice).

Music to mix by

Christmas Cocktails, various artists, (Capitol Records). Part of their excellent Ultra Lounge series.

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