SANTA SAYS >>>>

You are doomed. You are all doomed if you do not give a gift certificate from Olympia Mahayana Buddhist Center. Buddhists have all that karma business in the bag, and if you do not give the gift of meditation, you will probably rue the day.

Arguably, the beautiful thing about Buddhism is that, by and large, it seems to willingly allow for adaptation, welcomes it and encourages it, in the full understanding that so long as clear, divine intent is in place there can be no real threat to the Four Noble Truths to the honest path. (Though there is no shortage of strict Buddhist sects who believe their version is the one true way.)

So maybe you'll be OK if you don't give the gift of meditation. Santa wouldn't risk it.

Give a meditation membership from OMBC and get your mind right for the New Year.  You're really giving relaxation, lasting inner peace and contentment, the ability to solve daily problems and find happiness from within. 

The membership provides free weekly classes and discounts on monthly special events.

Ooommmmmm.

[Olympia Mahayana Buddhist Center, membership is $60 a month, suggested membership is six months at a time, 211 Legion Way SW, Olympia, 360.754.7787]

PLUS: 2011 South Sound Holiday Happenings

LINK: Santa Says RSS feed

LINK: Arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Give the Weekly Volcano a "LIKE" present

PLUS: 2011 Super Best of Tacoma Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

PLUS: 2011 Best of Olympia Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

SANTA SAYS >>>>

It was a sad day for North Pole farmers when it was announced several months ago that Mother Nature would be shutting down her pilot compost collection program because of the budget crunch.

The test program, in which 121 igloos had their food scraps and other organic waste regularly collected by the Pole via green versions of the Pole's curbside recycling carts, had been going strong for a while thanks to donations from the Miser brothers and Burgermeister Meisterburger. The three chaps aren't all bad.

Looks as if home composting in Thurston County is having better results than up here.

Thurston County Solid Waste and Master Gardener Foundation of Thurston County are teaming up to offer residents the opportunity to purchase the perfect holiday gift - reduced price home compost bins.  There is guaranteed delivery by Christmas Day.

Santa has to run down to the Monster High Toy Division to fix a problem. Read the press release on the home composting bins from the Thurston County Solid Waste Department after the jump:

Read more...

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SANTA SAYS >>>>

You've spent the past month running around as hyper as Brooke Mueller trying to finish your holiday preparations. Santa thinks it's high time (sorry, Brooke) you do a little something for yourself.

Here's the plan:

Load the iPod with Vince Guaraldi tunes from A Charlie Brown Christmas, lace up your skates, and hit the Franciscan Polar Plaza. Because it's covered you should be able to replicate the moves of Dorothy Hamill in nothing but a Polar fleece vest.

There are a bunch of holiday events happening today in the South Sound, including Dance Theatre Northwest's Nutcracker, a free screening of Elf at The Grand Cinema and The Christmas Revels at the Rialto Theater. Click here for more events going down today.

Feel a little ragged? Pamper yourself today. Click here for a few ideas.

And if you still haven't finished your shopping, click here for local gift ideas.

PLUS: 2011 South Sound Holiday Happenings

LINK: Santa Says RSS feed

LINK: Arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Give the Weekly Volcano a "LIKE" present

PLUS: 2011 Super Best of Tacoma Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

PLUS: 2011 Best of Olympia Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

SANTA SAYS >>>>

Back in May, I caught a righteous art show of political artwork from Vancouver, B.C. artists at the defunct downtown Olympia all-ages venue Northern. I was the one in disguise wearing the black-rimmed glasses and Beat Happening T-shirt. The show was co-curated by David Lester and Jean Smith, the duo that make up the long-standing noise-rock band Mecca Normal.

Santa has been a huge fan of Mecca Normal since they launched 27 years ago. They have inspired the North Pole Riot Grrrl community with their aggressive female-fronted, unconventional approach to punk. Not only does the duo rock, they also lecture, exhibit their art and participate in performance art.

If you are looking for a gift this coming holiday season, consider Lester's graphic novel The Listener. It has been selected as one of the best books of 2011, so far, by the School Library Journal (New York). Publishers Weekly (New York) called it, "A dense and fiercely intelligent work that asks important questions about art, history, and the responsibility of the individual, all in a lyrical and stirring tone."

Santa thinks it's awesome.

You may purchase the book for $19.95 at AK Press, buyolympia.com and Amazon. 

PLUS: 2011 South Sound Holiday Happenings

LINK: Santa Says RSS feed

LINK: Arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Give the Weekly Volcano a "LIKE" present

PLUS: 2011 Super Best of Tacoma Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

PLUS: 2011 Best of Olympia Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

SANTA SAYS >>>>

I found out about the little bat Stellaluna only recently, from Hermie, who apparently reads Janell Cannon's 1993 multi-award-winning book to the Snow Miser's kids every Dec. 23.

Weird.

Seems Hermie can't get enough of the tale of the baby bat and the adventures she undergoes after she's knocked from her mother's arms by a predatory owl and takes up with a family of birds.

Cannon also did the lovely illustrations, and when she's not writing children's books, she develops readingprograms for kids, especially ones about animals (there're two pages of educational "Bat Notes" at the end of Stellaluna), and especially about animals that aren't typically considered cute. A bat is certainly one of those. But Stellaluna is adorable, with big eyes and little fangs and her tongue often hanging out, and throughout the story learns lessons about friendship and tolerance (birds are different - they don't eat fruit or hang from their feet), and a little bit about survival as well.

It's not a scary story, but there's some suspense, and Stellaluna finds herself in a few jams. She's also hilarious. Stellaluna's perfect to read to younger ones and even better for older ones to read on their own. Nor is it a bad book for the odd grownup who's still capable of appreciating gorgeous drawings and a simple tale of a heartwarming fruit bat.

You can order Stellaluna at South Sound book stores. King's Books in Tacoma can turn it around quick for $17. Orca Books in Olympia can also turn it around quick with a listed price of $26.99.

PLUS: 2011 South Sound Holiday Happenings

LINK: Santa Says RSS feed

LINK: Arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Give the Weekly Volcano a "LIKE" present

PLUS: 2011 Super Best of Tacoma Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

PLUS: 2011 Best of Olympia Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

SANTA SAYS >>>>

What kind of holiday present does a loyal and caring master get for a dog with a closet full of sweaters it never wears? A cat whose sophisticated tastes now disdain even the priciest gourmet treats?

Now those who keep pets as an easier and somewhat cheaper alternative to children can subject their little darlings to the very human rite of passage of sitting awkwardly on some bearded dude's lap at the mall while a flash bulb blinds them. Except, this weekend it's going down at an animal shelter. All two-legged attendees' $20 donation will benefit shaggier and smellier pets-to-be at the Animal Services in Olympia.

Though dogs are the target audience, less orthodox pets won't be turned away, which brings to mind images of Santa being strangled by a boa constrictor or peed on by a ferret. The hilarious possible outcomes are endless, and the resulting portrait will sit nobly on the mantelpiece and serve as a conversation starter for at least a couple months.

[Animal Shelter, Saturday, Dec. 10-Sunday, Dec. 11, 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., $20 for five digital photos on a disk, 3120 Martin Way, Olympia, 360.352.2510]

PLUS: 2011 South Sound Holiday Happenings

LINK: Santa Says RSS feed

LINK: Arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Give the Weekly Volcano a "LIKE" present

PLUS: 2011 Super Best of Tacoma Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

PLUS: 2011 Best of Olympia Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

SANTA SAYS >>>>

I have a bumper sticker on my sleigh that reads, "My Other Sleigh is a Boat." Dasher gave that to me - the bumper sticker, not the boat. Reindeer don't have a lot of disposable cash or pockets to carry credit cards.

Anyhoo, I moor my 52-foot Ocean Alexander 520 Pilothouse on San Juan Island. The wife and I ditch the elves during the summer months, putting around the islands, sipping champagne and, sometimes, glancing at the Naughty and Nice List. I have to peck away at the list or face long hours during December.

When friends ask want I want for Christmas. I hand them a U.S. Marine Sales brochure and quip, "Ask for owner Brenda. She has my wish list on file."

For those not in the know, U.S. Marine Sales in Olympia has the goods, including stocking stuffers such as kneeboards, fishing nets, tackle boxes and life jackets. Check out its website here.

[U.S. Marine Sales, 9 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. Tuesday-Friday, 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Saturday, 3525 Pacific Ave. SE, Olympia, 360.455.0788]

PLUS: 2011 South Sound Holiday Happenings

LINK: Santa Says RSS feed

LINK: Arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Give the Weekly Volcano a "LIKE" present

PLUS: 2011 Super Best of Tacoma Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

PLUS: 2011 Best of Olympia Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

SANTA SAYS >>>>

Santa rarely deigns to spend his glucose-based energy praying, unless it's for something serious and worthwhile. Which is why, for the past month, I've been clasping my gloves together, invoking Jesus and pleading for him to cargo-drop on the North Pole something I so badly need: The 2012 Yamaha Raptor 700R.

Let me explain. Two months ago, Leon the Snowman opened Leon's Hot Pocket Express about a mile away form my castle. It's a tasty chicken pot pie you can eat on the go. Leon's Hot Pocket Express will kick your butt right in its tongue; all the flavor of chicken pot pie with none of the deadly consequences caused when you're using both hands to fork a hunk into your mouth, and you burn your tongue. Best of all, three more wrappers and I can send away for the Leon's Hot Pocket Express shoulder holster - for when you need flavor, and you need it fast.

And FAST is why I need the 2012 Yamaha Raptor 700R. Mrs. Claus put her foot down on my portable pot pie habit. Therefore, I need to be able to get to and fro quick. The 2012 Raptor is the undisputed big bore sport ATV performance leader. Featuring a fuel-injected 686cc, fully adjustable piggyback shocks, exclusive hybrid steel and aluminum frame, digital instrumentation and more awesomeness.

The wifey instructed the elves not to build me one. That's why I'm praying. Praying hard.

For those in the South Sound who want a little of this ... the Raptor I'm mean ... you can grab one for $8399 at Yamaha MotorSports of Olympia.

[Yamaha MotorSports of Olympia, 6807 Martin Way E., Olympia, 360.455.9731]

PLUS: 2011 South Sound Holiday Happenings

LINK: Santa Says RSS feed

LINK: Arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Give the Weekly Volcano a "LIKE" present

PLUS: 2011 Super Best of Tacoma Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

PLUS: 2011 Best of Olympia Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

SANTA SAYS >>>>

The elves in the Santa Says Blog R&D Department have been diligently working to find new ways to improve this column, and they think they've outdone themselves with their newest innovation.  Just in time for the shorter days of winter, the Santa Says Blog will soon glow in the dark!  Are your children afraid to sleep at night? Just use Santa Says Blog as a comforting night light!  Read it in darkened rooms, use it to send signals across the Narrows - the options are nearly limitless!  So sit back, leave that lamp off for a few more minutes, and enjoy!

Anywhoo, you haven't really experienced the holidays until you've been to a holiday market inside an elementary school. Make Olympia helped organize the Lincoln Winter Market running today from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. at Lincoln Elementary in Olympia. According to the Make Olympia website, you will find local, handmade items such as felted woodland creatures, animal hats, baked goods, astrology readings, wood cutting boards, handmade vegan soaps, hot soup, air plants, jewelry, wood furniture, stuffies, mushrooms to hang from your trees, art work, sugarless chocolates and upcycled mittens.

[Lincoln Elementary Gym, Saturday, Nov. 26, 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., 213 21^st Ave. SE, Olympia]

PLUS: 2011 South Sound Holiday Happenings

LINK: Santa Says RSS feed

LINK: Arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Give the Weekly Volcano a "LIKE" present

PLUS: 2011 Super Best of Tacoma Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

PLUS: 2011 Best of Olympia Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

SANTA SAYS >>>>

Who ever said vinyl is dead? Not Santa. The other day I scored Gene Autry's "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" 33 RPM - which was released by Columbia in 1949 - at Ignatius Thistlewhite's House Of Holiday Hits. The disc remains one of the best-selling Christmas records of all time ... and I finally have it on vinyl.

Record Store Day - a day to celebrate music with some of the most anticipated vinyl releases of the year - is celebrated every April. Record Store Day began in 2008 as a way to attract music fans to dying record stores. Since then it has become a marker day for artists from all over the world to release special edition vinyls, new albums, and rare singles.

The folks behind Record Store Day are antsy. They can't wait for April. They invented Back To Black Friday, a day to celebrate local record stores - specifically vinyl records, hence the "Back To Black Friday" name. Today, brick-and-mortar and indie record stores will unleash nearly 60 limited editions of recordings by dozens of legacy acts (like The Doors and Miles Davis) and contempo rockers (like Kings of Leon and Ryan Adams).

Here's a list of South Sound treasures:

Buzzard's CDS, Tapes, Movies & DVDs
29 N. Tacoma Ave., Tacoma, 253.591.0183

Disc Connection Records & More
405 Garfield St. S., Tacoma, 253.539.5632

Golden Oldies Records Tapes
3521 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.581.7947

Hi-Voltage Records
2612 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.627.4278

House of Records
608 N. Prospect, Tacoma, 253.272.9229

Phantom City Records
302 Fourth Ave. E., Olympia, 360.357.6852.

Rainy Day Records
301 Fifth Ave., Olympia, 357.4755

Rocket Records
3843 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.756.5186

PLUS: 2011 South Sound Holiday Happenings

LINK: Santa Says RSS feed

LINK: Arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Give the Weekly Volcano a "LIKE" present

PLUS: 2011 Super Best of Tacoma Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

PLUS: 2011 Best of Olympia Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks