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The good word out of Tacoma is Jessica Spring, proprietor of Springtide Press in Tacoma. You can learn letterpress printmaking from Spring.  You can rent her photopolymer plate making equipment. You can buy her artist books, broadsides and ephemera incorporating handmade paper and letterpress printing. And you can view her art at the Greater Tacoma Community Foundation show, which she won.

What Santa is really licking his candy cane over is you can print a Christmas ornament on Spring's letterpress equipment while tossing back holiday drinks Tuesday night at The Tempest Lounge. Spring will be on hand from 6:30-8:30 p.m. allowing you to drink while operating her heavy machinery.

Bring canned and packaged food for the Emergency Food Network.

[Tempest Lounge, Tuesday, Dec. 20, 6:30-8:30 p.m., food donations, Tempest Lounge, 913 Martin Luther King Jr. Way, Tacoma, 253.272.4904]

PLUS: 2011 South Sound Holiday Happenings

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PLUS: 2011 Super Best of Tacoma Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

PLUS: 2011 Best of Olympia Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

SANTA SAYS >>>>

FULL DISCLOSURE: Santa hasn't procured his Christmas tree yet this year.

I know, I know ... it's kind of blasphemous, and at the very least sets a bad example, for Kris Kringle himself to not have drug a rapidly dehydrating pine tree into the living room in the spirit of the holidays. But what are you going to do? Santa's a little busy this time of year. ...

Luckily, Two Five Trees is still rockin' in Tollefson Plaza.

Sure, I wrote about Two Five Trees a month ago on this blog (Which begs the question: What the hell was I doing writing a holiday blog in early November?), but - undoubtedly - there are hordes of people out there, just like Santa, that have yet to acquire the requisite Christmas greenery. And this is exactly where Two Five Trees comes in - offering the best in Tacoma-centric Christmas tree deals and holiday spirit. Plus, there's an ice rink down there. Just sayin'.

Current stock updates can be found at the Two Five Trees blog. Apparently, "table top" Nobles are hard to come by this year, as are Canaans - so if you're looking for either checking the blog first might be a good idea.

PLUS: 2011 South Sound Holiday Happenings

LINK: Santa Says RSS feed

LINK: Arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

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PLUS: 2011 Super Best of Tacoma Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

PLUS: 2011 Best of Olympia Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

SANTA SAYS >>>>

During the Christmas season the elves are hard at work making toys. The rest of the year, the little buggers struggle to release the energy that serves them so well building, literally, millions of toys a year. The most popular elf energy-release activities are indoor soccer, mixed martial arts cage matches and - yup - reindeer tipping. 

Obviously, Mrs. Claus and I have to be careful how we decorate our humble abode. We have to, well, elf proof the castle.

One of the things I miss the most is the soothing pleasure of candles. The rambunctious little guys would knock over a burning candle forcing an angry Mrs. Claus to out them to the Island of Misfit Toys for two weeks.

Imagine my delight when Papa Elf invented the three-piece LED Flicker Candle Set with wireless remote control. The safe, flameless operation is ideal for use anywhere - home, office, toy factory. The long-life LEDs can last up to 100,000 hours. The candles are made from real wax for an incredible life-like look. Your guests will be convinced they are looking at real burning candles.

Macy's carries the three-piece LED Flicker Candle Set, which is on sale for $14.99. It's available on the store's website.

PLUS: 2011 South Sound Holiday Happenings

LINK: Santa Says RSS feed

LINK: Arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

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PLUS: 2011 Super Best of Tacoma Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

PLUS: 2011 Best of Olympia Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

SANTA SAYS >>>>

Discovering a beader is akin to kissing someone for the first time. You walk away from the experience giggling to yourself, agog over how warm the sun feels, how bright the future looks. Everything seems possible.

Many of these sunny folks hangout at Shipwreck Beads. I wandered around the Lacey store awed by the amount of people milling about. I counted 20 individuals at a couple of different points in time.  While there were a few who appeared to be holiday shopping, there was also a pair of young girls working on a project with the help of a salesperson. There were a few grand-matronly types in holiday sweaters looking interestedly at the Christmas project packages, and most surprising to me, there were four men. Only one of these was hanging on to his wife's arm.

A young adult guy was asking a salesperson for project tips while another; older hippie-type was wandering the bins, waiting to check on a special-order bead. The last guy piqued my interest the most: he looked like the kind of guy you'd see quaffing beers with his buddies at the Viking Tavern after a hard day of pouring concrete, but rather than sitting on a barstool, he was standing by the bins of small silver beads and findings. He was poring over the selection, trying to find the perfect ones for a necklace for his girlfriend.

Santa has found Shipwreck's selection inspiring enough to hook me into wanting to be more involved in the hobby of beading. I bet the elves could also use a hand creating beaded poinsettia dollies, beaded poinsettia bathroom mats and beaded poinsettia shower curtains.

Santa says, "Be the bead" - even though I don't really know what that means.

[Shipwreck Beads, 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. daily, 8560 Commerce Pl. Dr. NE, Lacey, website]

PLUS: 2011 South Sound Holiday Happenings

LINK: Santa Says RSS feed

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PLUS: 2011 Super Best of Tacoma Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

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SANTA SAYS >>>>

Although it is de rigueur to deplore the commercialism of Christmas, the holiday, almost by definition, is a celebration of industrialist, capitalist society. Sometime in the mid-A.D.s (that's after the B.C.s), Europeans combined their pagan and newly Christian traditions together in a half-assed sort of way and Christmas was born, albeit a Christmas that would be unrecognizable to many today.

It did OK, as holidays go, but the Protestant movement squelched any momentum it had in its youth.

The heretical holiday remained fairly unpopular through the mid-1800s (apparently, Dec. 25 was just another workday), but the Victorians brought it back (and changed it forever). Dickens put the kibosh on the naysayers with A Christmas Carol. And Prince Albert, as Zadie Smith notes in her book The Autograph Man, charmed all of America with the Christmas tree, a tradition from his native Germany.

Blossoming, as it was, in the midst of the Industrial Revolution, Christmas couldn't help but become the show of wealth, prosperity, and thingery that it is today.

Oh, I might have had something to do with the whole Christmas gift-giving thing, too.

Anyhoo, children of all ages should check out Victorian Country Christmas beginning Wednesday - the holiday madness started with them. History comes alive as you tour the lavishly decorated old-fashioned storefronts, listen to carolers, ride in carriages, Santa Tram and the Christmas Carousel, and chow on home-style cooking.

[Puyallup Fairgrounds, Wednesday, Nov. 30-Saturday, Dec. 3 10 a.m. to 9 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 4 10 a.m. to 6 p.m., $8-$10, free parking, Ninth and Meridian, Puyallup, website]

PLUS: 2011 South Sound Holiday Happenings

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PLUS: 2011 Super Best of Tacoma Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

PLUS: 2011 Best of Olympia Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

HOLIDAY LIGHTS >>>

SANTA SAYS >>>>

Descending into a Goodwill Christmas Shoppe, you are instantly hit with all things Christmas. From the décor to the gift to the employees - it's all about the holiday season.

Oh, and those employees ...

They dance with jang-jinglers,
tide up to their hells.

They blow their floo-flounders,
they bang their tong-tinklers.

They blow their who-hoovers,
they bang their jang-tinglers.

They beat their tram-tookers,
they slide their sloo-slunckers.

They beat their flam-fluckers,
they whack their who-wonkers.

They play noisy games like Zuziv Ka Zev,
a Roller skates tapler "La Crosse."

And then they make pretty noises like the lux,
on their great big electro-who-cardio-flux.

They show you their chimes, ribbons and bows.
They show you their cups, plants and all that glows.
They show you their trees, bulbs and bowls.
They show you their decorations, ornaments and coals.

Oh yes. The Goodwill's Christmas Shoppe is a one-stop shop for holiday joy, décor, trimmings and gifts - all at a great value.

After a successful 2010 debut, Tacoma Goodwill expands to operate five Christmas Shoppes this year, with locations next to neighborhood Goodwill stores, dedicated exclusively for the sale of holiday treasures.

The Christmas Shoppes - located in Kent, Spanaway, North Tacoma, South Lacey and Puyallup - boast an inventory of more than two million pounds of items starting as low as 99-cents - with new items stocked daily.

And what's the most wonderful of all? Every dollar spent at a Goodwill store is put back into the South Sound community to help people get to work through job placement, training and services.

For the address of the five Shoppes, click here.

PLUS: 2011 South Sound Holiday Happenings

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SANTA SAYS >>>>

If you're one of those people who lock themselves in the bathroom when you go to elf parties so you can go through their medicine cabinets, the Holiday Tour of Historic Homes is the ideal way to indulge your voyeuristic habit. You get the fix of going through another person's house, with none of the actual risk or guilt involved.

Nine or 10 historic properties in the south capitol, southeast and northeast areas of Olympia - decorated for the season - will be open Sunday, Dec 4 for you to tour, all of them, memorize their floor plans to your little heart's content.

The time has come to live the dream.

Also, the time has come to support the non-profit Bigelow House Museum. The full $15 admission price goes toward the museum. Tickets include a map will be available beginning Friday, Nov. 24 at downtown Olympia businesses Drees, Archibald Sisters, Popinjay and Thompson Furniture and Gift. Tickets will also be available at 11 a.m. Dec. 4 at the Bigelow House Museum and Washington State Capital Museum.

Snoopy people of the world, unite!

[Washington State Capital Museum home base, Sunday, Dec. 4, noon to 4 p.m., $15, 211 West 21st, Olympia, 360.753.1215]

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Good news for all you early Christmas freaks. You can skip the yuletide tackitude. If you want to erect a Christmas tree tomorrow you don't need to buy a phony tree - the kind that can be hauled out of the garage every Thanksgiving, decked out, and then stuffed back into its hole to provide a support system for black widows during the other 11 months of the year.

Tacoma Boys has Christmas tree on sale ... now. 

The Sixth Avenue grocery store has flocked trees ($88 and up), Douglas fir ($33 and up), Grand fir ($40 and up), Fraiser fir ($50 and up), Noble fir ($50 and up) and High Alpine Noble ($10 per foot).

"We can flock to your tree to your liking - heavy, light or just a dusting from the top (a Tacoma Boys exclusive). Several colors of flock are available too, if you'd like something other than white," states its website.

Tacoma Boys will custom flock your tree for an extra $10 per foot.

And they will deliver.

Tacoma Boys also has a selection of tree ornaments located next to its front door.

[Tacoma Boys, 5602 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.756.0902]

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SANTA SAYS >>>>

Can you believe it's been 17 years already? Santa can't. Of course, Santa has an interesting perspective on time, seeing as he's eternal.

Nearing eternal is Pierce County Parks and Recreation's Fantasy Lights spectacular, held annually at Spanaway Park and always promising more holiday wattage than you'll find almost anywhere. For 39 nights, starting Nov. 24 and running through Jan. 1, carloads of holiday revelers will once again have the chance to enjoy the two and a quarter mile roll around Spanaway Lake from 5:30-9 p.m. Expect old favorites and new additions this year.

[Spanaway Park, Nov. 24-Jan. 1, 5:30-9 p.m., $13 per car, $28 per mini-bus (16-24 passengers), $45 per bus (25+ passengers), 14905 Gus G Bresemann Blvd., Spanaway, 253.798.4177]

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