SANTA SAYS >>>>

You might be familiar with Bobble Tiki – the cranky wooden souvenir tiki has written about the South Sound music scene for the Weekly Volcano since the weekly rag launched in 2001. Bobble Tiki writes skewed, highly opinionated music columns - sporadically spell-checked sometime between his morning pedicure/colonic and his heavily medicated regression therapy treatment/wine tasting.  The columns always contain strong language, irony, deadpan humor and occasional pointed remarks about the NBA, Britney and liquid cheese products. The columns are suitable for anyone who loves pleated khakis, pink wine or Meg Ryan movies.

Anyhoo, every year at this time Bobble Tiki promises himself that he's going to act less like Lady Macbeth and more like Ebbey Scrooge - after the graveyard scene, of course - you know, dancing around in a nightshirt making merry, in keeping with the situation. And Bobble Tiki forbids the NBA or those freakin' icicle lights to spoil his attention to goodwill toward men, which Bobble Tiki intends to do Wednesday night during at the Project: U takeover of Cork! Wine Bar.

Project: U, the United Way of Pierce County program run by 20- and 30-somethings, will host a fundraiser and toy drive at the Tacoma wine bar. Cork! has generously agreed to donate 20 percent of all sales proceeds from the evening to the United Way of Pierce County in the fight to improve the lives of all in Pierce County. The new, unwrapped toys collected will be earmarked for United Way's Season of Caring program and the children of Pierce County.

Visit www.project-u.org for more information. 

Drop by Wednesday with a toy or two, sip wine and give some encouraging words to the little tiki in the corner.

[Cork! Wine Bar, Wednesday, Dec. 14, 6-10 p.m., 606 N. State St., Tacoma, 253.212.1492]

PLUS: 2011 South Sound Holiday Happenings

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PLUS: 2011 Super Best of Tacoma Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

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SANTA SAYS >>>>

If you take a walk around Tacoma's Sixth Avenue today, you'll notice folks hauling arty delights back to their cars.

Junkaholic Deidre Norris hosts her last JuNkTaStIc SuNdAy MaRkEt, which will be held from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. inside the Studio 6 Ballroom. Local artists and vintage vendors will have their wares displayed for sale at the "little bit of this and that" indoor market.

Shop for vintage furs, boots, bags, sleighs, staked and potted garden art, magic snow balls, jewelry, vintage, elf shoes, collectables, re-purposed furniture, magic acorns that allow reindeer to fly, shabby chic, primitive décor, hula hoops by Deanna Riley, fleece and crochet items, Charlie In A Box and much more.

A food drive for FISH Food Banks will also be underway, so bring some non-perishable foods with you to help feed the hungry.

Stop by, shop and thank Norris for her awesome market.

[Studio 6 Ballroom, Sunday, Dec. 4, 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., free admission,  2608 Sixth Ave., Tacoma]

PLUS: 2011 South Sound Holiday Happenings

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PLUS: 2011 Super Best of Tacoma Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

PLUS: 2011 Best of Olympia Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

SANTA SAYS >>>>

Through the years, I have received my fair share of boots, coats, hats and long johns. You know ... the kind of gifts that either end up in the return pile or buried deep in the back of the closet to never see the light of day.

I've also received a mass of lovely fuzzy, warm sweaters knitted by my one and only love, Mrs. Claus. Yeah, back of the closet – handy enough to pull out when she requests but buried deep as to not give me nightmares or scare innocent children.

Ah, but the sweaters can come in handy, especially this time of year. AND it's time to bust out one of those bedazzled, hand stitched, thrown together balls of red and green yarn. Max Muscle Sports Nutrition store hosts another Ugly Sweater Holiday Party and Santa received an invite. I'm going to take the stash of cash back to the North Pole suckas.

Max Muscle's Ugly Holiday Sweater Party will be held Friday, Dec. 16. It's a fundraiser for the Puyallup Food Bank, which is awesome. Expect food, music, dancing and a silent auction.

So dig around for your ugliest sweater and face off with Santa. Warning: I'm bringing the Mrs. Claus 1954 Mamie Eisenhower Hugging A Snowman Sweater. Yup, you all are going down.

For more information, visit Max Muscle's Facebook.

[Max Muscle, Ugly Sweater holiday Party, Dec. 16, 6-10 p.m., $3-$20, Meridian Habitat Park Community Center, 14422 Meridian St. E., Puyallup, 253.229.4735]

PLUS: 2011 South Sound Holiday Happenings

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PLUS: 2011 Super Best of Tacoma Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

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SANTA SAYS >>>>

Suave Bing Crosby and fleet-of-foot Danny Kaye star as workaholic Bob Wallace and playboy Phil Davis, successful 1950s vaudevillians who discover the lovely Haynes sisters, then accompany them to their holiday gig at an inn in Vermont that turns out to be (a) run by the guys' adored old World War II general and (b) dying the tourist death due to an absence of frozen precipitation. Crosby and Kaye decide to bring in their retinue and put on a show in the barn. Romantic misunderstandings and big numbers ensue. But in the end, each song-and-dance man gets a Haynes, snow flutters down and the audience gets to sing along to the tune Crosby made the bestselling record in history.

Santa is, of course, speaking of the film White Christmas, which will screen Thursday at the Blue Mouse Theatre. In conjunction with the film, Altrusa International-Tacoma and The Happy Sock Club are partnering to raise funds for scholarships and collect Happy Socks for the Toy Rescue Mission.

Tickets are only $10 and advance purchase is available at the Old House Mercantile and Blue Mouse - both in Tacoma's Proctor District. Bring a pair of Happy Socks for a child, infants through 15 years of age.

[Blue Mouse Theatre, Thursday, Dec. 1, 7-9:30 p.m., $10, 2611 N. Proctor, Tacoma, 253.752.9500]

LINK: More local screenings of holiday films

PLUS: 2011 South Sound Holiday Happenings

LINK: Santa Says RSS feed

LINK: Arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

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PLUS: 2011 Super Best of Tacoma Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

PLUS: 2011 Best of Olympia Bought and Sold Readers' and Staff picks

SANTA SAYS >>>>

If you're one of those people who lock themselves in the bathroom when you go to elf parties so you can go through their medicine cabinets, the Holiday Tour of Historic Homes is the ideal way to indulge your voyeuristic habit. You get the fix of going through another person's house, with none of the actual risk or guilt involved.

Nine or 10 historic properties in the south capitol, southeast and northeast areas of Olympia - decorated for the season - will be open Sunday, Dec 4 for you to tour, all of them, memorize their floor plans to your little heart's content.

The time has come to live the dream.

Also, the time has come to support the non-profit Bigelow House Museum. The full $15 admission price goes toward the museum. Tickets include a map will be available beginning Friday, Nov. 24 at downtown Olympia businesses Drees, Archibald Sisters, Popinjay and Thompson Furniture and Gift. Tickets will also be available at 11 a.m. Dec. 4 at the Bigelow House Museum and Washington State Capital Museum.

Snoopy people of the world, unite!

[Washington State Capital Museum home base, Sunday, Dec. 4, noon to 4 p.m., $15, 211 West 21st, Olympia, 360.753.1215]

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SANTA SAYS >>>>

Place a heaping tablespoon of yeast in a large bowl and wait a few minutes for it to foam. Add three tablespoons of sugar, at least a teaspoon of sea salt and four cups of unbleached white flour. While stirring the dough, add two to four cups of whole wheat flour, however much it takes until you can knead the dough without it sticking to your hands.

Oil the bowl and put the dough back in the bowl. Cover the bowl with a cloth and put it in a cold oven. Let it rise for half an hour.

Punch it down. Put the cloth back on top and let it rise for an hour.

Punch it down, divide it in two parts, put the cloth on top and put it in two (oiled or buttered) glass loaf pans. Let it rise for an hour.

Remove the cloth. Turn the oven on to 350 degrees. Wait just under an hour, until it smells like bread.

Smear butter or margarine over the tops of the loaves.

Wait five more minutes. Remove the bread; let it sit until you can't stand it anymore.

That's honestly the only fall ritual I really need these days. But one must look beyond the mere sustenance of a loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou. The autumn season is a glorious spread just waiting to be sliced.

Here's one to slice off tomorrow. Emerald Downs horse racing track hosts a holiday gift festival with more than 100 vendors and a bunch o' gifts.

If you bring non-perishable food items for Northwest Harvest, you get in free.

Take the whole things with a dash of nutmeg.

[Emerald Downs, Sunday, Nov. 13, 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., $3, 2300 Emerald Downs Dr., Auburn, 253.288.7000]

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