On first inspection, Wayne's Inn of Puyallup is nothing more than a dive bar. A dark interior lit with sports television and neon signs. Surly bartenders pouring stiff drinks. For specials: cheap tall cans of beer. Even the ancient wood paneling emits an aroma of barbecued food and stale cigarettes.
But if Wayne's Inn is a dive bar, then why is Ludacris blaring from all the speakers? Why are there platinum-blonde broads dressed in their Sunday's skimpiest chatting away at every table? And if Wayne's Inn is a dive bar, why then, for the love of God, have I been standing in line for 20 minutes waiting to order a drink?
I voice my complaint to the gentleman in front of me wearing a sleeveless T-shirt with the name Dirty Sanchez printed across the back.
"Yeah bro," he says. "Go outside. There's no line out there if you're cool with just beer."
Following Mr. Sanchez's advice, I head outside. A large patio serves as both the smoker's hideout and main dance floor. A metal tub filled with bottled beer operates as the outdoor bar. DJ House Arrest (or Josh, as I heard one bouncer call him) spins the latest up on the stage, much to the delight of the young ladies dancing not-so-eloquently below.
After two quick trips to the beer tub, I push through the crowd and head to the dance floor. I move awkwardly for a song or two, finding it difficult to break through the perimeter of stumbling, provocative, yet strangely standoffish drunk girls. I ease away from the dancing, and on my way back to the beer tub, step in a large pile of vomit.
Two ladies have snuck into the crowded men's room where I'm now running handfuls of paper towels under a faucet. They make no secret of their presence, screaming back and forth to each other. "Oh my God Julie, there's piss everywhere. This is fucking disgusting. Oh my God."
Yes Julie, your friend is right. This is disgusting. No matter how hard I scrub, this kind of puke won't come out.
Wayne's Inn
11 a.m. to midnight Sunday-Tuesday, 11-2 a.m. Wednesday-Saturday
1902 E. Main, Puyallup
253.848.3466
Comments for "Wayne's Inn" (3)
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Rev. Adam McKinney said on Aug. 28, 2010 at 6:20pm
I'm really liking the way this column is shaping up. Good job, Brett.
--Rev.
Kristina said on Sep. 16, 2010 at 1:42pm
Ha ha. This review is funny. I'm sort of a "regular" at this bar if that means I have been going there before I turned 21 and usually end up there when I go out on the town in Puyallup. I am good friends with the DJ (Josh). I will say that your night wasn't completly typical. Yes on the weekends it's overcrowded, and yes on the weekends there are second rate ladies inappropriately dressed for even a strip club, BUT the cool thing about Waynes is the "melting pot" if you will of types of people. You can go there decked out in your hottest outfit, or in a sweatshirt and jeans. You are always accepted (at least by the regs). If you can get past the few trashy people making fools of themselves.. it's really a fun place to be. The well drinks are the strongest in town and by far the most affordable. I suggest trying wayne's out on a Thursday. Same great DJ but a lot less people. It's also ladies' night on Thursdays so well drinks are like $1.60. I haven't seen vomit outside before either (not that that would be expected to be a usual thing to see) but at least you know someone had a good night that night. Long story short, to me Wayne's is a cool place to just get stupid with your friends and know that you aren't the strangest people there.
DJ House Arrest said on Sep. 16, 2010 at 3:09pm
Hey DJ House Arrest (aka. Josh for those who know me) here... just wanna say thanks for the review and a thanks to all our regulars and not so regulars that show up to party with us on the weekends!! Everyone already knows Wayne's is the place to be in the south end on the weekends but Waynes is always fun durring the week too... strong drinks poured all week long, Poker on Wednesdays, Thursdays is a killer ladies night. Tell all your friends to come down and check it out, Waynes is an awesome place with no stupid dress code and no crazy cover charge, just come down and be yourself and party
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