I like to call this place "Dead Lobster." Juvenile, I know, yet it still makes me giggle every time. It had been years since I'd even thought about stepping foot inside Dead Lobster. I no longer have an interest in staring at their huge fish tank in the lobby, filled with commercial lobsters trying to escape their own little corner of hell. The fact that their tiny little claws have been strapped with thick rubber bands doesn't help the situation, and almost seems pathetic. As I visited Dead Lobster this past week, I so badly wanted to clip those suckers free.
Don't get me wrong, this isn't some PETA soapbox I've stumbled upon, kicked over, and taken as my own personal animal rights podium. I love seafood. I love killing it, cooking it, and pairing it with a good wine. I simply feel as though we should unclip the thick rubber bands from the lobsters' claws, let them run rampant, and whoever dies first is the one who deserves to be eaten - with drawn butter, of course.
Drink One: Triple Berry Sangria (bartender's choice) - I already had this one picked out as what I would chose for my third drink. The fact that server Daniel voted the same as his choice led me to believe he had been stalking my brain. I would almost venture to say he was a borderline brain-eating zombie. Can't say I blame him. I always imagined my brain to be filled with yummy treats resembling marshmallows, pop rocks and cherry sours. No Circus Peanuts, though. Those are gross.
Drink Two: Bahama Mama (most popular drink within last hour) - As I slurped the massive rum-laden, frozen-fruit tube through a huge black straw, I pondered why on earth anyone would enjoy noshing on Circus Peanuts. Really. Why?
Drink Three: Triple Berry Sangria (my choice) - Why mess with a good thing? That damn Triple Berry Sangria was mixed up just right, and layered itself upon my tongue with complex fruit flavors that made me feel like I needed to type out a description similar to one you might find a publication like Bon Appetite - except not as classy. (R.I.P. Bon Appetite)
As my time at Dead Lobster progressed, and my drink tally reached a solid three, I could feel it - my brain turning slowly but surely into the texture of Circus Peanuts. Great.
Red Lobster
2006 S. 320th St. Federal Way
253.941.6162
Comments for "3 DRINK MINIMUM: Red Lobster" (3)
Weekly Volcano is not responsible for the content of these comments. Weekly Volcano reserves the right to remove comments at their discretion.
Jim said on Sep. 01, 2010 at 12:31pm
This is a disgrace to all restaurants in the south sound area. You REALLY chose RED LOBSTER for this article? With all the local establishments you could give credit to, you chose a large national (and disgusting) chain? And you had the same drink twice? Did you even try this week?
p.s. Readers beware: should we be trusting someone's opinion who eats at Red Lobster?
jenny fab said on Sep. 01, 2010 at 4:44pm
Hmmmmm, Jim, I don't think Ms. DeRosa actually ate at that chain restaurant. She's more of a drinker than an eater. Hence the name of column, 3 Drink Minimum. In fact, there is no mention of Red Lobster food in this article at all (except the little crustaceans that she wanted to free). Did you actually read the article this week, Jim? Or just skim it?
p.s. Writers beware: should we be concerned with the opinion of a man that doesn't bother to read complete articles before launching critism and a personal attack?
Jim said on Sep. 01, 2010 at 11:57pm
Yeah, I did read the whole article...Are you trying to insinuate that someone just went to Red Lobster for the sole purpose of drinking?...Sad...Sorry, i was just thinking that maybe someone would write an article about a place people might actually enjoy going to...or have never thought about going to before
Leave A Comment
Respond on Your Blog
Create an Account
or
Login
If you have a Weekly Volcano Account you can not only post comments, but you can also respond to articles in your own Weekly Volcano Blog. It's just another way to make your voice heard.