This southern girl has finally been conditioned to the Pacific Northwest. I no longer have the local suicide hotline on speed dial, and the carpet has started to perk back up in the corner where I used to curl up and cry for days on end.
That being said, every once in a gray day, I get a hankering to hole up in a pool hall, order a few drinks, and resuscitate my soul with some good ol' rock n' roll laced with rhythmic guitar-induced blues.
My hankering subsided when Bandito Betty pulled me into Malarkey's Pool & Brew on Tacoma Avenue for a little Meantooth Grin action and three, trashy drinks.
Drink One: Gin and Tonic (bartender's choice) - Bandito Betty and I were pretty slick this week and didn't tell anyone at Malarkey's what we were doing. Usually we divulge Volcano information as this whole Three Drink Minimum business takes some explaining to the bartender. If not, the drink-slinging schlep gives you a perplexed, if not annoyed, look when you say, "Make me any drink you want - your choice." I have no idea why such a question always seems to throw the bartender for a loop, but I suppose it's probably similar to the same brain fart we all get when asked what our home phone number is.
Drink Two: Jaeger Bomb (most popular drink within the last hour - Illness eventually ensues after consumption of this retched drink - no doubt. Bandito and I only guessed that this was the most popular drink, seeing as we were testing out our new "don't tell the bartender we're here" angle. And by the looks of our Malarkey's neighbors, it was definitely the Jaeger Bomb that seemed most popular that night. I gagged one down for the Weekly Volcano team.
Would said "team" drink the same for me? I highly doubt it.
Drink Three: Pabst Blue Ribbon (my choice) - Honestly, all I wanted was a tall cool glass of water for my third drink, but Bandito wouldn't allow it. I cursed in her general direction as she brought me back a PBR and stared at me until I finished it. The Jaeger Bomb had done me in with all its extreme black licorice-like grossness, and a PBR was the calmest chaser she could think of. Forget my hankering to hole up in a pool hall; I'm going back to curling up in my living room corner. - Steph DeRosa
[Malarkey's Pool & Brew, 445 Tacoma Ave. S., Tacoma, 253.383.3301]
Comments for "3 DRINK MINIMUM: Malarkey's Pool and Brew" (6)
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Bob said on Jan. 22, 2010 at 11:28pm
"Make me any drink you want - your choice."
Is a stupid thing to say without explaining yourself to the bartender. Without explaining why you would ask something like that, the bartender just assumes you are a moron for making such a lose/lose request. Drinks are like dating partners: everyone has specific tastes and is fussy about their choices. So the bartender has to guess what you might like, and with an overwhelming chance he will be wrong and have an annoyed customer on his hands.
Just explain the purpose of the request and the bartender will not assume you are a tard. Pretty simple.
"Pabst Blue Ribbon (my choice)"
Ugh...immigrants. PBR is hipster crap for the cali crowd...OOPS I meant PORTLAND/SEATTLE crowd. If you must have a cheap delicious beer: Oly or, at worst, Rainier. Shame we don't have Heidelberg anymore. :(
Malarkey's is a great place, even going back to when it was City Lights. :)
Laura said on Jan. 25, 2010 at 10:47am
Steph: if you don't explain yourself the bartender probably has random thoughts fly through his/her head such as: "is this person from the alcohol board and is testing to see if i recognize their fake id???" "is this a test from the owner to see if i am upselling?" "how can you not know what drink you want when you walk in a bar???" Actually, I have another question on your columns here in general: do you go to places at the same time? So that you get the same staff shift? Most places have their best staff on weekend nights, so if you sometimes go to a place on a Friday night and then compare that staff to say, a Tuesday afternoon, you are comparing apples to oranges...just sayin...
Steph DeRosa said on Feb. 11, 2010 at 12:34pm
Are you guys a little defensive because the girl in the picture was claiming that I "made her look stupid"? She wasn't even our bartender that night! I sent Bandito back the next day to snap the shot, and this girl was working. This day-after procedure is normally done for food/restaurant reviews - I just happen to usually snap a shot while I'm there. The place was busy that night, we were having fun, and in all honesty, this is the one time I didn't say what we were with the Volcano. Aren't I allowed to go out for fun AND make it part of work? And you may not realize it, but when I tell most bartenders I'm with the Volcano, 9 out of 10 times they get more contemplative about exactly what drink they're going to make. Sometimes they even call a brief staff meeting to decide. Sheesh. I tell ya, it's simply easier to not tell them who I'm with - but I do it regardless. It really shouldn't matter, anyway - should it? If a customer asks the bartender to pick a drink, the bartender should pick a drink, right? But I completely understand where you're coming from - both of you :) I love Malarkey's, and we had a BLAST. And to answer your question, Laura, I do not go at the same time. I go when my calendar allows. Sometimes we have a liquid lunch, other times we happen to be out on a Friday night. Just last night (Thursday) I stopped in to do a Three Drink during a bar's happy hour. I hope this clears things up! ;)
Matt Driscoll said on Feb. 11, 2010 at 12:49pm
Sounds like I better start paying Banditto Betty for photos...
Bandito Betty said on Feb. 11, 2010 at 1:19pm
This is gotten so out of control and beyond silly. I've been a bartender for 12 years and get asked on a daily basis to just "make me something" and I do it, that's my job, I don't ask 8 million questions about it. Make drink, serve drink, next customer. It's not rocket science. Why so much complaining about free advertising? Why is everyone so sensitive these days? In this economy everyone should be happy to have customers, period. Now let's all go on drinking and enjoy our day. Oh, and Matt, I prefer cash.
Bob said on Mar. 13, 2010 at 7:00pm
Wow, defensive much?
"Why is everyone so sensitive these days?"
Not sure, would love to know though?
Was just explaining why "the drink-slinging schlep gives you a perplexed, if not annoyed, look when you say, "Make me any drink you want - your choice." I have no idea why such a question always seems to throw the bartender for a loop"
Just throwing out some insight into why that might be.
I think next time I go out to eat I'm just gonna tell them to bring me whatever they want. Makes sense, food is food right? :)
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