The entire Johnny's empire confuses me, I'll admit it.  Though it's not hard to confuse me, when it comes to Tacoma's Johnny's, the gridlock in my brain reaches an all-time high.  One name - "Johnny's" - can encompass all of the following establishments: Johnny's Dock, Johnny's Seafood, Johnny's in Fife, and Johnny's Fine Foods.

Oh, and don't forget The Dock. It was owned by that Johnny's family less than a year ago.  

At any rate, Bandito Betty and I headed out last week to the Johnny's Dock Restaurant & Marina overlooking the water.  It was only a few weeks ago that we raised three drinks at The Dock, under false assumption that it was "Johnny's Dock." It was not, and Bandito was disappointed. I had to make it up to her somehow.  

Drink One: Harbor something something something (bartender's choice) - It had the name "Harbor" in the title, that's all I remember.  Look, people, what do you want from me?!?  I go out every damn week and stab my liver with a vodka-flavored paper umbrella, and you expect me to remember drink names?  What I do remember is that the bartender's name might've been Crystal.  I feel as though a solid 60 percent of alcohol-wielding females are named Crystal; what's one more?

Drink Two: Margarita on the rocks (most popular within last hour) - I remember this drink because I distinctly recall thinking of my mom and how she's retired, and now one of the few adult-beverages she'll drink is a margarita - but only frozen.  That thought makes sense in my fuzzy world because the bar inside Johnny's Dock was filled with what were very obviously retired citizens of Tacoma, and, of course, the most popular drink would be a margarita.  

Drink Three: Bloody Mary (my choice) - As Bandito and I happily swiveled in our posh, mauve captain's chairs, the sounds of our neighbor's hearing-aid feedback did nothing to dampen the good time we had devouring our delicious lunches and salt-rimmed Bloody Marys.  Damn they were good.  Now if only I could remember the name of that wealthy, elderly guy I met at Johnny's Dock with the heart condition that wanted to get married.

[Johnny's Dock Restaurant and Marina, 1900 E. D. St., Tacoma, 253.627.3186]