Trouble with Rancid Flora Drake
Posted: Jul 03, 2008 by Rancid Flora Drake
Me is a perrrverted pirate. Me loves nice looking, swashbuckling buccaneers. Why shouldn’t we wenches just admit it? Men do it all the time, and me sure most everyone else does as well. There’s nutin’ wrong wid it.
But put a good-looking man pirate in a huge room of beer and ye have a Rancid Flora Drake hormonal meltdown. Blimey! Interviewing Doug Tiede of Engine House No. 9 was tough as scallywags. The scent of hops and testosterone were almost too much to handle as me tried to stay appropriate with me line of questioning. Me apologies go out in advance to his girrrlfriend for anything she might read in this interview. Please don’t make me walk the plank.
RANCID FLORA DRAKE: Just so the general public knows, ye do have a girlfriend, don’t ye? What does she think of ye working in a vat full of beer?
DOUG TIEDE: Yes I do, and she’s actually skeptical about what it is I do here all day. When I come home smelling of beer, I’m sure she thinks I’ve been drinking all day.
DRAKE: The smell is quite strong in thar. What does it remind ye of? Rotted cheese left on a sidewalk in Port Royal, Jamaica? Me breath after a night of grog drinking?
TIEDE: It reminds me of reading newspapers. There’s a lot of down time here so I tend to pick up the Weekly Volcano a lot and read Steph DeRosa’s columns.
DRAKE: Aye Matey! When me writes this interview me going to go ahead and make up a part where you say that you read the Weekly Volcano a lot, Aye?
TIEDE: That’s fine.
DRAKE: What else do ye brew guys do to pass the time?
TIEDE: We have intellectual political discussions.
DRAKE: Avast.
TIEDE: One of the strangest discussions being about the old bestiality ranch in Enumclaw. I was in the opinion that it should be legal.* Other times we play a game where we try and squirt each other in the crotch with a water bottle. Makes us look like we peed ourselves.
DRAKE: Me would buy a ticket to see that. Maturity at it’s finest.
*Editorial clarification: Tiede does not practice bestiality; ye is simply stating an opinion.
Head Brewmaster
Engine House No. 9
611 N. Pine St., Tacoma, 253.272.3435