I will discover the identity of this little twerp
Posted: Nov 29, 2007 by Natasha Gorbachev
Leave it to Natasha to launch a full-blown investigation to get to the bottom of a question that has been on the lips of so many Tacomans.
Who in the heck is the Tacoma Gnome?
In case your eyes have been closed in the City of Destiny, there’s this pint-sized gnome that has been traveling in the hands of an unidentified person. The gnome shows up at different locations throughout the city and then blogs about his experiences at www.tacomagnome.blogspot.com and he’s on MySpace at www.myspace.com/tacomagnome.
But we all know that this kind of plastic lawn ornament can’t speak or type, so I’ve resolved to get to the bottom of who the person is that’s behind this “gnome from Norway who is owned by a Swede in the South Puget Sound area.”
The gnome has shown up at places like Hotel Murano, Funkoma Vintage, UrbanXchange, and lately he had a chat with local blogger Kevin Freitas.
What’s particularly frustrating about this is that I’m the dame who is the purveyor of all secrets in this city, and I’m shocked that I’ve remained on the outside of this one.
To take the issue to task, I’ve accused several people of being the gnome, including Josh Dunn of Premier Media Group, Erik Emery Hanberg of the Horatio Theater, the Tacoma Chickadee, and Rob McNair-Huff, from the City of Tacoma, and even Pappi Swarner from this here rag. Could the gnome be sweet pea of King’s Books?
With the exception of the pea, all of the aforementioned SWEAR that they’re not the gnome in spite of my interrogations that are similar to those that come from the C.I.A. and the U.S. Army.
As the author of this Scene of the Crime column, I’m going to offer a reward to the person who provides the information that leads to the identity of the Tacoma Gnome. Really, what would work the best is if the true person just came clean so I can put this investigation in the closed cases category.
What’s the reward, you ask?
A pie on me at Puget Sound Pizza, a place that the stupid gnome should’ve already visited by now anyway.
Email me at sceneofthecrime@hotmail.com with all pertinent information that will lead to the real identity of the gnome, and a delicious pizza could be yours.
Mark my words: You can’t hide from me forever, Tacoma Gnome. You will be mine.
Tell me where you like to party at sceneofthecrime@hotmail.com.