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Trauma queen I'm a 40-year-old guy seeing a 29-year-old woman for four months. I seem to have a pattern of dating women with serious problems. Sure enough, weeks after we met, she suffered a major emotional upheaval that triggered issues from her history of abuse (a vicious marriage). As an understanding
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Puyallup Fair food contests There arrrre three kinds of people in the world: dem who steal food, dem who enjoy food, and dem who cook it. Me walks the first camp plank: Me the kind of pirate who can walk in the same restaurant 10 times and orderrr the same ting.
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Ahoy! Call me Ishmael. Nah I just be pulling yer anchor. My real name be Bartholomew Ruffin, a lowly swab working the decks of the sloop Prince Philip’s Retribution, commandeer’d years ago from the great an’ terrible Blackbeard himself. Me hearties — a crusty brigade of bold buccaneers — and
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What’s better than not reviewing a surprisingly solid debut record from a somewhat local band of shoe-gazing rockers? Well, that’s easy: Reviewing that debut record 11 months after its release. Better late than never, as they say. In August of last year, Colonies, a four-piece made up of Travis Shumate, Christian Powers,
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Ha! I escaped from my pirate captors, which was easy. I’m the youngest and spryest on this Weekly Volcano staff. There is no place more beautiful than Tacoma in the summer. With the mountains, water and lush green trees dusting the landscape, it’s no wonder that Tacoma has become a popular
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Yar! Some lily-livered King’s men on Pierce County Council’s Rules Committee have keelhauled a plan to raise land taxes to save wha’s left a farm land an’ such. They be sayin’ they’re nay naught sure about some parts and that thar homes isn’t worth what they was. Me be thinking
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I was standing by the pool outside the Museum of Glass Thursday noon, enjoying the new sculptural installation, Mirrored Murrelets by Joseph Gregory Rossano, when a pair of pirates burst out of the pool like breaching whales and trussed me up with rope so old it was sprouting barnacles. “Measure
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Yar! Gurglin’ Sid Cooke here to tell ye about this Green Ribbon Climate Somethin’ task force. Way I hear it, it’s a bunch of landlubbers who think the world is endin or something caus’a these greenhouse gases. Me mate Miles the Pork Storm is probably most a’ tha problem. But
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Ahoy, Buckos and lasses! Batten down t’ hatches fer a dose of t’ unexpected. While usually ye turn to this bloody page in t’ Weekly Volcano fer t’ views and sheeted opinions o’ Bobble Tiki, today be a different day. Bobble Tiki be gone — tied up in t’ Cap’n’s quarters
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When me was hefting a flagon of grog at this year’s Conference Corsairique Globale in Martinique, this February, me saw many a shiny bead lasses pillaged at the Puget Sound Bead Festival. Ye wenches might want to check it out next weekend. More than 125 classes will be offered at th’ 13th
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I had been dying to go into Bud’s of Milton for many years, and today I finally got my chance. Bartender Trish was one of the nicest and most personable bartenders I’ve ever seen in action. She knew everyone in there by name (I think half of them were
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Murray against meth “Useful.” “Eye opening.” These be just two o’ t’ ways that U.S. Sen. Patty Murray characterized her stop in Tacoma on Tuesday, July 1. Murray was in this port known as Tacoma to discuss t’ area’s gang and meth problems, and fer a few hours at t’ Tacoma Police
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Ye can’t get to Wichita, Kan., on a seafarin’ vessel. Fer this and plenty o’ other reasons, this rum weathered red beard has ne’er heard o’ Paper Airplanes. Wichita is where these sprogs call home. But thanks to Tall Ships taking over Tacoma, and pirates taking over t’ Weekly Volcano
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Pirate food on the high seas tastes like crap. Food holds often flood, rotting our flour and sugar. We heavily salt our vegetables and meats destroying all flavor, so Cook needs lots of spices, which he keeps under lock and key, to improve the taste. After weeks at sea our
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Hello. It’s Carmen, writing from the bellow of a tall ship. The pirates who have stolen Natasha and I have given me a chance to let you all know that we’re OK. They’re not getting rough with us on the tall ship, but this dress is pretty annoying and stinky in this
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Avast, me larkies, the fate of The Helm gallery lays on the balance. There yet be a bastion of pirate expression on the sea of this “renaissance.“ A rogue wave amongst so many of the same marketable arts galleries. Very little of what hangs on the walls of the Helm
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I have been waiting for this for years: a superhero movie where the actions of the superheroes have consequences in the real world. They always leave a wake of crashed cars, bursting fire hydrants, exploding gas stations and toppling bridges behind them, and never go back to clean up. But
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Ahoy, ye scurvy dogs. I’m Benjamin Bill, chief cook of the Boundary Blue. We have kidnapped Steve Dunkelberger, the mold-covered slime of a louse who usually fills this space. He is clasped in irons below deck of this here ship after we keelhauled him under our motorboat. It was a bit messy
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Ahoy, me hearties. Tis me, Cap’n Rumgut. Aft much addled planning and even more shipshape hype, Tall Ships Tacoma finally be upon us. Shiver me timbers and gangway, mateys! Tis a time like no other. Wenches and lasses alike be tickled wit’ excitement. Store keeps, sutlers and swag merchants be gearing
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Ahoy kids! Hot enough fer ye? ’Tis for me, by golly. Hidin’ in me hold ‘n’ doin’ laundry can only last so long till I needs t’ join th’ rest o’ th’ world in th’ swelterin’ heat. Despite me better judgment, me ‘n’ me best gal pal Jason decide t’
