Are our gay bars dumps?

Does the South Sound gay community care if “their” bars are not as glamorous as the straight bars?
by Brad Hoover
Apr 03, 2008

If you’re not supposed to judge a book by its cover, then is it fair to judge a gay community by its bars? What could a person assume about the South Sound’s gay community when walking into Tacoma’s Club Silverstone or Jakes on 4th in Olympia for the first time? Despite the fact that most of South Puget Sound’s gay bars appear to be thriving, the conditions of some of them still validate negative stereotypes about the South Sound. Granted, the expectation that all gay bars must rest on top of the design food chain is itself a stereotype, the distinction between being hole-in-the wall-sheik vs. a Third World booze and pull-tab dispensary deserves scrutiny.

Gay people from King County are just as capable of looking down on their gay brothers and sisters in the South Sound, just as straight people do. And complaints about Tacoma’s and Olympia’s gay scene are common. When they aren’t in reference to the customers or their conduct, they are about the physical conditions. Specifically the worn carpeting, hand-me-down furniture, and fixtures, all of which seem to say whatever, you’ll come anyway.  In some bars, the overlapping interior design themes of decades past combine to create an incoherent aesthetic only Frankenstein would appreciate. 

Absent from Tacoma’s gay night life is any kind of gay establishment that is able to resemble the likes of 21 Commerce, the Matador or The Loft. In fact, Tacoma’s straight night life is able to win the loyal patronage of queers who prefer to avoid gay clubs. One gay downtown nightclub patron I spoke with explains that seeing the same gay people at the same gay bar all the time is too depressing. Besides, he gets more phone numbers from straight guys at closing time than he would elsewhere. Hmmmmm.

Why don’t gay bars shine?

So, are there other reasons why most South Sound gay establishments pale in comparison to their straight counterparts? Perhaps a combination of factors is to blame, such as building code restrictions, institutionalized homophobia, poor management decisions, or a function of how the gay community is regarded by itself and others. Regardless, the reality is that the background and circumstances of any bar, gay or straight, are more complex than generally known. 

Patrons of Olympia’s Urban Onion and Tacoma’s Airport Tavern could have cared less whether their surroundings met anyone’s precious standards. Both see themselves as simple neighborhood bars that act as an extension of the personal lives for its loyal customers.

“We’re a niche market,’ explains a Tacoma Airport patron, “everyone who comes here likes it the way it is.”

Both The Onion and Airport patrons seem particularly proud of their “friendly neighborhood bar” image, and each compared themselves to TV’s Cheers. (As did staff from Silverstone and Jakes on 4th) The loyal patronage was best explained by one customer: “Because the beer is cheep and the bartender is cute.”

Even though comments from owners, managers and patrons varied slightly, most everyone was reluctant to view their particular bar of choice as a role model for the entire gay community, but rather a section of it.

Tacoma’s Airport and Olympia’s Onion, for example, saw themselves as distinct mostly because they didn’t have a dance floor, which reveals a complementary relationship with those that did.

Representing the other half of this symbiotic relationship are bars with dance floors, specifically Olympia’s Jakes on 4th and Tacoma’s Club Silverstone. Rob Cameron, owner of Jakes on 4th, suggests that his establishment represents the only place for Olympia’s younger gay and gay-friendly community to gather and dance in a safe atmosphere. Complementing this point of view was the self-perception of many Urban Onion patrons who saw themselves as more mature (older) and established in their careers (better paid). 

While cutting-edge thumpa-thumpa dance music still calls Seattle home, hip-hop appears to be the music of choice in South Puget Sound’s gay/gay-friendly dance scene, especially if you’re lesbian, or a straight female looking for a fun night out without having to deal with straight guys on the make.

Gay bars in the South Sound can also boast of an internal gay-community diversity that is rarely present in Seattle bars that cater more toward a specific gay clientele. Trying to please the competing tastes among lesbians, drag queens, trannies, leather daddies, bears, twinkies … of all ages is impossible. Therefore the status quo may actually represent the best of all possible conditions.

Conditions of Club Silverstone may be an example of this double-edged phenomenon.
“It has a 1940s appeal…” says Silverstone Manager Andrew, “we’re small, and mix well with the straight community. There is a wonderful blending that you don’t see anywhere else.”

Silverstone patrons I spoke to tend to agree. Despite its outdated lighting, furniture, carpet and layout, the place is accepted for what it is; a place where gays socialize. 
When trying to understand the complexity of gay bar clientele, a person’s stage of coming out is definitely something to take into consideration. Combined with a limited understanding of how the gay community works, one’s own internalized homophobia, and the isolation that sets in, it’s no wonder why some gay folk prefer straight bars especially while coming out. Orientation aside, sometimes there are more peers to socialize with in straight bars. And gay bars don’t appear to be in any hurry to attract the clientele they know will eventually show up. In this respect, straight bars don’t offer serious competition that would motivate a makeover. The Internet probably poses more of a threat than anything else.

Some suspect good old fashioned homophobic slum lording is going on. This accusation is commonly pointed in the direction of straight people who own gay establishments. Whether or not this is true, this line of thinking is particularly offensive and somewhat hypocritical given the value system the LGBTQ community consistently advocates. After all, gay money isn’t pink; it’s green like everyone else’s.

Club Silverstone is unique since it rests in the middle of what is informally known as the “Gay Corridor,” which stretches from The Urban Onion in Olympia to The Cuff in Seattle. All three bars are related through varying degrees of ownership within the same straight family and gay or gay-friendly business partners.

The Stone is usually recognized as Tacoma’s flagship gay bar, which is why it receives some of the strongest criticism. Because it’s primarily owned by a straight family and the competition is more complementary than anything else, some of Silverstone’s customers accuse the owners of exploiting the gay community.  

Andrew, the manager of Club Silverstone, disagrees with the gay slum lording accusation by explaining that the straight ownership of The Stone is very supportive to Tacoma’s gay community. And the good rapport that many customers, including myself, have established with the staff and owners definitely supports his claim. Andrew is also quick to point out that most gay bars in the South Sound, like Club Silverstone, rent space in older buildings with code restrictions that would make remodeling cost prohibitive.
However, others are not totally convinced. Profits from The Cuff in Seattle could be enough to put all three bars in the black, at least theoretically. Therefore, some of Silverstone’s patrons interpret the conditions as a lack of respect.

Can’t teach an old dog ...

Some also argue that gays are more likely to tolerate lower standards because it goes along with the internalized negative image of gay life. Therefore, conditions are substandard because gays don’t consider themselves worthy of anything better, and may even avoid places that imply a healthier self-esteem.

Perhaps this argument would have had merit 40 years ago. Keep in mind that Stonewall era gay bars acted as a refuge. Therefore, it was not customary to expect a surrounding that attracted attention, since that was not the priority. In Tacoma, this tradition appears to have been memorialized. Given that Stonewall era customers constitute the majority of South Sound gay bar patrons, the aesthetics will correspond accordingly. The collective knowledge and insight into gay history most elder bar patrons have to offer is invaluable and endangered.

Unfortunately, today’s Queer As Folk generation may not appreciate this important historical relevance. Once upon a time gay bars were to the gay liberation movement and the gay community what churches were for the civil rights movement. Modern gay history can be broken up into distinct eras. Pre-Stonewall, gay liberation (post Stonewall), the onset of HIV/AIDS — and now the era of domestic partnership registration. Gay bars have been present through it all, and the ones that have endured have been able to change with the times, like any good business.

It stands to reason that improving conditions for the sake of customer appreciation and self-esteem is futile. Older gays who have a harsher understanding of discrimination are quick to point out that sustaining a loyal gay customer base has nothing to do with aesthetics, but respect for tradition and the role and function a gay bar has in one’s community. If this is truly the case, then Tacoma’s Airport and Club Silverstone are living testimonials to the gay experience of decades past.

Across the country, gay bars in big cities risk going mainstream or going under. Ironically, Seattle may actually act as a shield that could protect South Sound gay bars from this or even compel their emergence. Smaller towns like Olympia and Tacoma are in a better position to benefit by the gay diaspora from larger cities due to rising gas prices, the Internet and the emergence of the South Sound condo class that is creating a need for a variety of closer venues.

Bartenders and patrons agree that South Sound gay bars aren’t in danger of closing any time soon.

“Gay Bars won’t go away,” explains a Club Silverstone regular, “their roles may change overtime, but there will always be a need for a place to meet.

However, “…competition would be helpful.”

[Club Silverstone, DJ dance music Friday-Saturday 9 p.m., 39 1/2 St. Helens Ave., Tacoma, 253.404.0273]
[On The Rocks, Underwear Night Thursdays, A Knight before drag show 8 p.m. Friday, Show Business drag show 10 p.m. Friday, The Royal Knights drag kings 8 p.m. Saturday, The Queens Of The Night female impersonators 10 p.m. Saturday, after hours dancing until 4 am Friday-Saturday, 728 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.779.4700]
[Airport Bar & Grill, gay-friendly tavern, 5406 South Tacoma Way, 253.475.9730]
[Jakes on 4th, karaoke, drag shows, live music, dancing, 311 Fourth Ave., Olympia, 360.956.3247]
[Urban Onion, karaoke Thursday and Saturday, 116 Legion Way S.E., Olympia, 360.943.9242]

User comments

submitted 02:10 on Apr 3, 2008 by 101

I hear a bar in the neighborhood of Silverstone may be changing hands soon and becoming a gay owned/gay friendly establishment. Also, On The Rocks is for sale.

submitted 06:27 on May 5, 2008 by scott

very well put,the silverstone is an embaressment to tacoma and the community. if any of the bars mentioned(including the cuff)were straight they would of gone out of bussiness along time ago

submitted 11:21 on May 6, 2008 by concerned friend

For the record, the owner of the Cuff, Club Silverstone and the Urban Onion, Mr. Randy Fields, 86'ed the author of this article Saturday night, 5/3/2008. They were very clear that the decision to 86 him was a direct result of this article, and nothing else.

submitted 08:57 on May 11, 2008 by Another Gay Author Thown back into the Closet

OMG - You have got to be kidding. A Str8 Owner preying on the Gay Community and now this? So if a food critic gave a restaurant a bad critic, would that food critic be 86�d from the restaurant? NO! A music critic gave a bad review of the Band � would the Venue 86 them from the Venue? Freedom of Speech! Isn�t that why we are at war and fighting for other countries to have a democracy? I think we should boycott the Cuff, Silverstone and Urban Onion. Where is the Gay Unity in Freedom of speech? Apologize to the Author Mr. Fields before you are out of business!

submitted 03:35 on May 14, 2008 by Jason

you guys all you have to do is not go to these Str8 run gay establishments...doesn't it seem weird that a str8 man would run a gay bar? well it is . Randy(The Cuff owner)is a very crucial statement he hires a very presumably gay staff to do all of his bidding and it ends up looking like a bitch slapping contest, their are bars that have character over flash and fancy, if you remember gay bars were started in the 70's in American for men and women to go to that would not inhabit Str8 bullshit, but with all its formalities aside the gay perspective has always had much better taste in music and design, but Washington State is an awful place to have a liquor License for a gay establishment, not mention the onslaught of harassment of the newly reformed police department that don't even know when they are being homophobic. So it no wonder these bars don't invest in there businesses because of being under such a backwards scrutiny from the state itself. I think if you want something more adventurous to go to we all have to vote Mayor Nickles and people like minded out of office and stop frequenting these str8 run gay bars for any change to really take place.

submitted 08:42 on May 14, 2008 by Chester the Hole Molester

KUDOS!!! T H E C U F F SUCKS Don't go to that pretentious want to be Gay Bar, I must say I have never had a good time there or any of the other Seattle Bars ...well maybe The Eagle (at least the music is good) gay bars are suppose to be a little dirty arn't they??

submitted 06:08 on May 17, 2008 by

I agree that Silverstone could use a new carpet and a more pleasant cleaning solution (kinda smells like urine and some toxic version of Comet). That aside, I've enjoyed the place for its down-to-earth staff like Matthew, Van, etc. I've been in San Diego several weeks and you don't have to go far to find the queer pretense there. It's all relative: if you don't like it then don't go; if you can get into that groove then groove in a poetic mode. Maybe the owners of Silverstone would be up for a community renovation. I'd be happy to donate an hour or two to paining and getting to know these people better and ask them personally about what has prevented them from giving the gay community some fresh rug : )

submitted 08:28 on Jun 17, 2008 by happy rainbow

I love club Silverstones,its drama free and the staff are great.Who cares if a straight person owns a gay bar, at least he is catering to us as a community and not working against us.Be thankful that he had the spirit to support us queer asses so don't bitch at someone that is doing something good for our community.IF your bitching about it,then you should try opening a gay bar.I never had one problem there at Silverstones except they play the same music over and over every week, other than that, its a wonderful bar to go hang out. The only Gay bar I dislike which I think should be blown to shit is The Rocks one block from club silverstones.The owners have no anger management skills nor do they have respect for their customers that has been sexually harassed by a straight man in a gay bar allowing such a thing happen and letting a few lesbians to stop the havok and let alone let the asshole go and have the lesbians that got into the breaking of the fight BARRED for Good. What kind of establishment is that? Yeah I'm a lesbian and the gay owners there at the Rock has no respect for the gay community themself if they cannot protect their own in their own establlishment. That right there is a bad bar owned by gays.

submitted 03:00 on Oct 5, 2008 by 101

Can you say THANK GOD for The Mix?!?! Gay owned. Check. (by two guys who live downtown) Good Drinks. Check. Great Clientele. Check. Owners who care about the community. Check. Owners who have worked hard fixing up the place. Check. (and it looks great!) The Mix is 1 block from the Stone at 635 St. Helens Ave. http://www.myspace.com/themixtacoma

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