Rock N Roll Craft Show
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Martha Stewart meets booze meets Tacoma meets Hell’s Kitchen Saturday
by Matt Driscoll
Jul 05, 2007
iRetarded.
iEmbarrassing.
If you take an honest look at the iPhone phenomena — you know the one, it’s been endlessly reported on, talked about, blogged about, and generally forced down our throats since the iPhone was released last week — how can you not hang your head in shame? Driving around Tacoma today, I saw four different vehicles with Apple stickers proudly pasted in rear windshields, proving just how much of a fashion accessory and status symbol iProducts have become. Credit card-clutching fools lined up days in advance for the release of the iPhone, counting the minutes until they could be the first pathetic bastards to stumble on consumption deadened legs into their local AT&T store and pay an iRidiculous amount for their shiny, new iPhone.
iDisgusting.
Why is it we’re so able to completely consume ourselves with something as trivial as the fucking iPhone, openly lust for it and devote front page stories and endless water cooler discussions to it, while the real problems in this world continue to snowball — with only hopeless politicians left to deal with them. The Supreme Court’s in a 5-4 mood that could erase 50 years of civil rights progress. The underpaid cogs at the bottom of our economy, working twice as hard as you or me for a third of the pay — known as illegal aliens — still don’t have a path to citizenship and could still be ripped away from their families here in the states at any moment. Iraq is Iraq. Iran is Iran. Al Qaeda is Al Qaeda. Cars are blowing up in Britain, and Di is still dead.
Despite it all, America — land of the fat and home of the brain-dead — is consumed with the iPhone.
Every time I think we can’t possibly get stupider, we do.
Boo.
The good news is, (roughly shifting gears — pumping the clutch a little and gritting my teeth) not everyone is stupid. While I firmly believe there are more stupid people in the world than smart ones, luckily the smart ones stick out. Their ideas are what keep our lives interesting, and their presence is what keeps me from parking the car in the garage, shutting the doors, revving the motor and going to sleep.
York Sandifer — known as Yorkatron to those of you familiar with the Rock N Roll Craft Show — is one of the smart ones. He and his crew are responsible for one best ideas Tacoma has spawned in some time. Billed as “Martha Stewart meets metal meets booze meets Tacoma,” the Rock N Roll Craft Show is not a band. Get that straight. It’s a TV show in the making. While the long awaited pilot is still in production, the idea is to mix dark humor with a bit of testosterone, a bit of beer, a bit of sketch comedy, a kick-ass metal band, and a little Bob Villa flavor — and then powder coat the whole thing with some Grit City charm. The result, at least judging by the trailer available at www.myspace.com/rrcs, is everything you’d expect from a guy with “atron” attached to the end of his name. The Rock N Roll Craft Show is going to kick ass, whenever Yorkatron and Co. gets the pilot completed. Mark my words. They’ll have all of Tacoma getting in touch with its crafty side, and introducing the world to Tacoma’s alcoholic, chain-smoking, oddly handy side.
This Saturday, July 7, The Rock N Roll Craft Show is presenting Giant Squid, with Mico de Noche, Lozen, and Those Who Were Dragged at Hell’s Kitchen. While the word “presents” basically means Yorkatron and company will be hanging out, getting loaded, and giving away key chains and other promotional swag at the show, it still sounds like a damn fine reason to come out.
“The show has made quite a bit of progress since we last spoke,” explains Sandifer through e-mail of the Rock N Roll Craft Show’s growth since the last time it graced the pages of the Weekly Volcano in January. At the time the RRCS was a fledgling yet very promising idea. Though, six months later, Tacoma has yet to see a full episode of the RRCS, Sandifer doesn’t seem discouraged, and talking to him only solidified what I already suspected.
The Rock N Roll Craft Show is no joke.
Yorkatron is serious.
“We picked up two major sponsors — Rockstar energy drink and Jagermeister. Having these companies back us really lets everyone know how much we are not fucking around. As far as dominating the world of crafting and the world as a whole, I’m pretty sure that the Rock N Roll Craft Show is perched mightily atop our great earth gnashing our teeth at the opposition and waiting for the public to accept our total rule of the species.
“The goal for the release of the pilot is the beginning of August, but I’m sure that’s total bullshit considering we were supposed to have it done last September. I can confidently say the pilot is going to floor people. We have some pretty wild s*** packed into our 24-minute format. If the crafting and really dark dry humor doesn’t get us fans, at least the heavy metal titans 3 Inches of Blood (our musical guest) closing out the show will give people a reason to sit through it.
“On the Rock N Roll Craft Show horizon, we’re trying to close sponsorship deals with DVS sneakers and Vestal Watches, and there are some serious talks with some broadcast folks to try and get this shit bought so we can afford to make more episodes and make asses of ourselves for the entertainment of everyone, and hopefully make Tacoma its own independent country.”
I’d cast a vote for Yorkatron, if only because he scares me a little.
You should be seeing the Rock N Roll Craft Show on your TV sooner rather than later. In the meantime, you’ll have to settle for getting completely wasted with the whole cast and crew at Hell’s Kitchen on Saturday. Mixing the RRCS with Giant Squid, Mico De Noche, Lozen, and Those Who Were Dragged at best may have epic implications, and at the very worst ensures a few free stickers.
It’s a win win.
[Hell’s Kitchen, with Giant Squid, Mico De Noche, Lozen, And Those Who Were Dragged, Saturday, July 7, 9 p.m., $5, 3829 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.759.6003, www.hellskitchen online.com]
Slip ‘n’ slide via e-mail here.
